Transcription: More “Morons Among Us”
Author: Andy Blackmore
August 12th, 2012

This is a blog I always mean to do more often, but it takes a while to build up enough notes. No names, dates or locations are used; or, if needed- names are changed to protect the critically stupid.

I love to run or walk. I do at LEAST 5 miles every day. My routine is always the same. I am wearing my running shorts, m running sox, my running shoes, my Walkman is on & my ear buds are in. I am power walking or jogging or sprinting or some combination of all 3. To the REST of the world; should I say, to NORMAL people – It should be obvious that I AM BUSY. I am ON THE TRACK… Have I set the scene well enough?

Every 60-100 feet, (I AM NOT JOKING) there is at least one person who tries to pull me over in order to talk to me, or whatever it is – they are lonely, bored, completely fxxking stupid... Who knows?
1st Lap Goes like this:
Moron (1): Hey! Andy! Did you watch Channel (3,4,10,13)? They said… (Here’s where I tune out or leave)
Moron (2): Hey! Andy! Do you think you can get me a (job, soda, pen pal, whatever)… (Here’s where I leave)
Moron (3): Hey! Andy! Wait up! I just talked to my (mom, dad, wife, cat, rubber chicken) and bla bla bla – HEY! Where are you going? ASSHOLE!!
Moron (4): Hey Andy! That guy you work with is… (Here’s where I leave or crank the volume up to 9…)
Moron (5): Andy! Wait up! I wanted to talk to you about… (I keep going pretending not to hear)… You asshole! I hate talking to you! Hey! Did you hear me?

Lap 2:
Moron 1: Hey Dickhead! Do you want to fight or something? Why are you ignoring me? Hey! Did you HEAR ME? Asshole!
Moron 2: FUCK DUDE! SLOW DOWN! IWANT TO ASK YOU FOR… JERK! WAIT!
Moron 3: Hey! Don’t you care about…
Moron 4: ANDY! CAN YOU HEAR ME THROUGH THOSE? Hey! (He’s waving at me; I wave back – with 1 finger)
Moron 5: HOW COME YOU NEVER STOP TO TALK TO ME? HEY? (Same 1 fingered wave)

Laps 3-30: Morons 1-5: EVIL STARES

Cool down: Walkman is OFF, I am STOPPED… No Shit – I am STANDING Right here. No sign of Morons 1-5 at all.
While waiting to go back to building…
Morons 6-18: Hey! Andy! Moron (1-5) says you hate him? That you’re an asshole? What gives? What did moron (1-5) do man?
ME (Andy): I’ve been out running; just like I do EVERY DAY. I do this 365 days a year…I’ve been here 6 years. You’d think they’d eventually get it?

Moron (6-18) Oh! Yeah! That’s all it was? Oh. Ok. You’ll need to explain yourself

Me (Andy): I don’t have to do anything, if they’re too stupid to see what I’m doing and why, that is their problem!

THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY PEOPLE!! OMG