May 8, 2013

Der State

by Andy Blackmore (author's profile)


Der State

Thank YOU GAHLFOHNYA! I am so glad that socialist pinkos rule here.

In the never ending mountain of Vogon forms, the notion that the reason that California is in such dire straits financially becomes apparent. So many forms so much redundancy. One day...

I went to an entity known as the EDD. This is actually a well-run, well thought-out, positively ingenious agency. The Employment Development Department has done the nigh-impossible: it is a functioning, PAPERLESS, one-stop-shop for anything to do with getting a job. You can make resumes, cover letters, CVs, email, job-search, take FREE classes both state and college-run, and tons more. I can only hope that the state leaves this agency alone and well-funded. It's a rate gem in a cesspool of bureaucratic crap. Second day...

Thus ends our trip to sanity. I then went to what most call the welfare office or 'the dole.' I'm not joking - it took 17 forms to apply for food stamps which took three days to process and approve.

Another day...

Next, I went to the DMV. I like the DMV on principle; as they do a crappy job for small pay and put up with the driving public. I went early, as lines form fast. 3 forms and $18.00 later I was in the line to renew my driver's license. 2 hours later I took my test, got my picture and sank into despair as the "NEW" 41 billion dollar computer system came to a crashing stop, as I now understand it does 1 or 2 times a day. The DMV has since reverted to its DOS-based software it's had since 1979. $41 billion over 30 some years to develop a system that can't even upload pictures, fingerprints, or address changes? No wonder it takes forever... 3 weeks later, the new license arrived. Complete with my address I lived at 10 years ago. Is this for real?!? I'm very afraid to go file a change of address form for obvious reasons.

On a new day in a new week, I went BACK to the welfare office. I had been looking for work but had no offers... So I needed actual welfare... Now it's a LOAN you must re-pay and it only is $277.00. So I filled out another 17 forms and was told I had to come back in another 30 days to get welfare. Funny, I needed the money AT THAT TIME since I had bills due.

30 days later I went to the welfare office and was ushered in to a room with 20 people. We were all there to fill out ANOTHER 20 forms so we could get a check. But that check wouldn't come for 2 to 45 days. The bright spot was a cute gal named Kate who sat next to me. I won't go into details but I seriously asked her out on a date. She said yes, but we haven't figured out how/where we can do a date for a) free and b) conflicting schedules. Back to the story...

I met with a "Case Manager" and got to sign some of my 20 forms. She handed me a 21st form and told me I had to get a 'landlord' signature to prove I'm not homeless (and thus avoid another 10 forms). So I took the form (on Friday), got it signed and turned it in on Monday (now 34 days past the point I actually NEEDED cash). She told me within 48 hours I'd have my money...

WRONG. It took 10 more days of phone tag before I got it. AMAZINGLY I am not current on my bills, but I also have to turn in 4 new forms to get my next check.

I then went to HUD - which is online. I thought this might be easy... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Forget it. I'll have a new job long before I'll ever get through the maze they invented for rental assistance. In all reality, I will probably be OFF PAROLE before that paperwork goes through.

And so it continues... to form an LLC is only a couple of pages but 46 pages of instructions. Plus a business license - 6 pages, plus an EIN for both state and federal requirements 4 pages + 30 instruction pages, PLUS permits - 3 - 100 pages, plus tax forms (pages ad-infinitum)...

No wonder everyone is moving to Texas!!

God Bless America,
She needs it -



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