Nov. 18, 2012

Fucking With Old People

by Andy Blackmore (author's profile)

Transcription

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F**king With Old People

There's an old guy here - actually there's MANY old guys here, but this 1st one is 'Mr. Kent.' He's white, a good sport and this is the latest practical joke that is seriously funny & worth sharing.

His cellie 'Mr. Marlboro' was planning to get his hair cut. I knew this but 'Mr. Kent' did not... Sooo, I was playing cards with a Booger-Eater and I set up the game.

'Hey 'Mr. Kent''
'Yes?'
'You hang around with those queers all day. Why don't you have them braid your long hair into cornrows?'
'Naw, that's ok. I'm white & old'
'So?'
'Well that would look wrong. Plus I'm going out to court again soon'
'So that'll make you look prison-tough. Maybe you'll scare the judge into leniency'
'No.'

Mr. Marlboro observed this brief exchange, wondering what I was up to. Booger-Eater goes along with anything I do because he values my friendship & card skills. Also in observance were 3 others - 'Mr. True', 'Mr. Winston' and 'Mr. Merit'

A couple of days go by and I'm playing cards again. Mr. Marlboro is now sporting his new & improved short haircut. Booger-Eater is dealing a sticky stack when Mr. Kent comes & sits down.

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F**king w/old people cont...

"Hey there! Did you notice?" I ask
"Notice what?" Mr. Kent asks
"Mr. Marlboro got a haircut."
"Yes, it's nice, I see now."
"Well?" I ask
"Well, what?"
"When are you going to get cornrows done?"
"I'm not" Mr. Kent looks up from his cards.

Booger-Eater and Mr. Marlboro are looking at me now, in questioning glances.

"Didn't you just say 3 days ago that if Mr. Marlboro cut off his ponytail, you'd get cornrows done?" I ask incredulously (DAMN I am a good actor)

"Um...." Mr. Kent hesitates - He knows there's a conversation about cornrows from a few days ago but he doesn't remember what it was all about.
"Um..."
Marlboro, Booger-Eater are in immediately...
"Yeah"
"Oh, that's right! You did say that! Why do you think I got the haircut?"

At this time, next to us, playing pinochle, Mr Merit looks up and says "Hey! Yeah! I remember you guys talking about that!"

Mr. True & Mr. Winston are near & they're game too..
"Yea - you don't want to welsh on a deal, Mr. Kent..."
"Yea, old man... that's not cool!"

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F**KING w/Old People... cont...

"Um..."
"Look," I say, "if its a matter of cost, I'll pay the queers to do it. Don't be afraid."

"Well, I don't think I said that."
"Yeah you did" Mr. Marlboro says
"Yep - you cant renege" says Booger-Eater
"True-dat" others intone
"Well, I guess I gotta do what I gotta do..."

So we are waiting for the queer to come to yard who does cornrows. The old man will get it done soon enough. I'm going to pay for his photo ducat so we can get proof of this. It's worth it. An old white guy who looks like Colonel Sanders with cornrows? Priceless!

Good Gawd I love to f**k with people!

Happy Thoughts!

Andy

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Replies (3) Replies feed

kyleproehl Posted 12 years ago. ✓ Mailed 11 years, 12 months ago   Favorite
Mr. Blackmore,

Transcription is complete. Thanks for writing and sharing.

Best

kyleproehl Posted 11 years, 11 months ago. ✓ Mailed 11 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
Mr. Blackmore,

Best wishes for the holidays and new year.

Sincerely,

Kyle Proehl

Andy Blackmore Posted 11 years, 9 months ago.   Favorite
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