December 2, 2012 #39

Growing old or Growing Up?

I like to think I am growing beyond old habits and hurts, but all too often I find myself reverting to old ways of coping with the stress life brings my way. In the distant past I learned that being mean, strong and dominant was an effective means of controlling my environment. Those old, learned behaviors die hard! But die they must!

I was not created to dominate my environment. It was never intended that I be in control. In control of myself, yes, others not so much. :) My problem is that I have usually done exactly what I thought I wanted to do, without regard to how I was affecting the world around me. I think it was Gandhi that said "Be the change you want to see in the world". Today I strive to be that change. I all too often fail, but I will not give up the battle. My wish would be that this world would be a gentle and loving place, overflowing with Grace & Mercy. So I must be that way. My problem is not so much learning new ways of interaction with others as it is in breaking the cycle of behaviors which are almost addictive in me.

My desire is to help others. Kinda nice, right? For me that means yielding to God's Spirit and putting the work in. In other words, trust in God to do his part (See Rm 5:3-5) and taking responsibility to do my part. I need to unlearn, to replace old lessons with new.

I just started a group. It is called "Adaptive Interpersonal Restructuring" (AIR). So now it is official, I am an AIR head. It is rather interesting how what I need to grow up, rather than old, always seems to turn up when I need it.

God is Good, just look around a bit more often and you are sure to see it. God Bless you and Merry Christmas. I really mean that, GOD BLESS YOU!