I agree with what arcadiaego said.... it was not your fault for her passing. She was a grown woman and knew what she was getting herself into. Looks like your father is suffering everyday for what he did to her. That is so sad. She is in a better place...
Wow, what a story. I am so very sorry that you have experienced such things. it sounds like your father is a very immature and pathetic person, who has caused much damage to you as well as other people in his life. I hope you don't still feel as responsible for Connie's death as you did, as it sounds like she was a person who wanted to try and fix people and was determined to get in touch with your father.
Eric, this is your step sister Laura, I am sorry for your loss, just wanted to tell you I love you, and will see you when you get here. No worries for sister, I got her. She is strong. Take care of yourself. Love ya.
Hi Ronald - sounds like you are the victim of some drama at the moment. I'm new to this site so I'm not in the know about your previous letters and diaries - what is happening with the administration at your jail? It sounds pretty shoddy.
You have some very good advice about keeping going through the bad times. I've had some problems with depression myself, but I don't know how you manage in your situation. Hope you are doing well at the moment.
Hey, Reck! It's Joanie (B.J.). Glad there is now a blog to keep in touch with you. I was going on your Facebook page for updates, etc, but it's not quite the same, knowing that you don't actually see it. The way you were railroaded sucks and I hope that at some point, it will be realized/remedied and you will be out far sooner than your sentence dictates. As for me, I am a mother of two, although only one lives with me. I am a litigation secretary now, working for a workers' comp firm for the moment doing, of course, comp as well as some subro. I will keep this short for now. Know that I miss you much. Will keep in touch. Much love, my friend.
Hi Bobby, just to let u know I am thinking of u.So many different things go on and time flies by.Hubby is still in the same place ..He told me to say "hi"...How r things with u? How is that place u r at? Silly question, they r all alike, right??? Hope u r well and busy, like u usually r.I love u and pray for u always..God Bless.
Eric, I must say that I have never been really inclined to prison culture, however via this blog and your essay I am starting to truly understand prison culture. More specifically how it is crucial to start a change. Thank you for enlightening me
I read this and it is difficult because we have this war about needing to rehabilitate prisoners but we also want to give justice for what was done. I think sometimes we view this justice as being mean, hateful and trying to hurt you like we were hurt. So there is part of me that was always upset with the fact that you get dental, health, food and shelter when people that are trying to abide by the rules and don't get this. So that part of me wants to say you deserve nothing, no special treatment and no rehabilitation. But you are correct in the fact that how are we supposed to send you out to society if we don't fix a problem? We don't send someone with Cancer to the doctors just to stay there as they magically get better. No, we put them through treatment and then things get better, sometimes still they don't. But I read stories about kids being sentenced as adults and they will be in the system for life. How can we help them if all they ever have known is hate and we are sending them back into that same place? How can we make it so prisoners understand that what they do is wrong and want to change rather than continuing with the way of life they have so long lived? So yes I agree something should be done. We need to help. But how can we?
Transcription Resolution Do you know what I hate? People who aren’t dependable. I do feel my life would mean a lot more if I could depend on someone to help me walk through life but you know what? Life, no prison gave me the most perfect illuminated epiphany. “No one” will help you once you’re at the lowest point in your life. Family, so called friends, no one. Now let the record reflect I am not pissed or not even mildly upset anymore. Yet I give you impeccable and brutal truth that comes from courage born only of a beat, hopeless soul. Being in prison is agony of the worst kind but being here in seg. AKA “The Box” with only your thoughts to keep you sane, can, has and will continue to kill. I do find strength in one thing. In relief that if I want something anything at all, I will be the one to get it, I will know it will be meant for me to have. That goes for everything, a home, a family, friends, a job or whatever, so I am not motivated to give chase to certain things in life and I do this enthusiastically. Last thought if you don’t agree with my reasoning, go to prison for some calendars and let life fortify the truth right before your eyes. To those that do have it, count your blessings because god loves you. Feb 12 Written by Brandon Rucker
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Wow, what a story. I am so very sorry that you have experienced such things. it sounds like your father is a very immature and pathetic person, who has caused much damage to you as well as other people in his life. I hope you don't still feel as responsible for Connie's death as you did, as it sounds like she was a person who wanted to try and fix people and was determined to get in touch with your father.
You have some very good advice about keeping going through the bad times. I've had some problems with depression myself, but I don't know how you manage in your situation. Hope you are doing well at the moment.
Best wishes,
Elizabeth-Anne.
Hope u r well and busy, like u usually r.I love u and pray for u always..God Bless.
I must say that I have never been really inclined to prison culture, however via this blog and your essay I am starting to truly understand prison culture. More specifically how it is crucial to start a change.
Thank you for enlightening me
So there is part of me that was always upset with the fact that you get dental, health, food and shelter when people that are trying to abide by the rules and don't get this. So that part of me wants to say you deserve nothing, no special treatment and no rehabilitation.
But you are correct in the fact that how are we supposed to send you out to society if we don't fix a problem? We don't send someone with Cancer to the doctors just to stay there as they magically get better. No, we put them through treatment and then things get better, sometimes still they don't. But I read stories about kids being sentenced as adults and they will be in the system for life. How can we help them if all they ever have known is hate and we are sending them back into that same place? How can we make it so prisoners understand that what they do is wrong and want to change rather than continuing with the way of life they have so long lived? So yes I agree something should be done. We need to help. But how can we?
Resolution
Do you know what I hate? People who aren’t dependable. I do feel my life would mean a lot more if I could depend on someone to help me walk through life but you know what? Life, no prison gave me the most perfect illuminated epiphany. “No one” will help you once you’re at the lowest point in your life. Family, so called friends, no one. Now let the record reflect I am not pissed or not even mildly upset anymore. Yet I give you impeccable and brutal truth that comes from courage born only of a beat, hopeless soul. Being in prison is agony of the worst kind but being here in seg. AKA “The Box” with only your thoughts to keep you sane, can, has and will continue to kill.
I do find strength in one thing. In relief that if I want something anything at all, I will be the one to get it, I will know it will be meant for me to have.
That goes for everything, a home, a family, friends, a job or whatever, so I am not motivated to give chase to certain things in life and I do this enthusiastically. Last thought if you don’t agree with my reasoning, go to prison for some calendars and let life fortify the truth right before your eyes. To those that do have it, count your blessings because god loves you.
Feb 12
Written by Brandon Rucker