Transcription
Just You
I'm supposed to be strong but feel the obligation to expose solitary for what it is. The ups and downs. This does hell on friendships. It's a fine line between being considered crazy or tortured. How far should I go...?
Years ago I decided to not pull any punches or become scared of what people think.
I believe by doing it thus people see what it's all like a whole lot clearer. It's only... - now I've become... "IT."
I see the parole board in two months. I never thought to see this day. In 2006 I was told to come back and be seen for parole in 2010. Four years. I died. Four! Years! - But then I put on 100lbs, obtained a diploma and a bunch of schooling certificates. It was doing good.
Then I go back. They tell me come back in 2013. Another three years. (!)
This all may seem piddly compared to life sentences and death rowers. One never considers how long a year really is 'till you stare at a calender all day - is all.
I have nothing and no-one to go to. That's the worst and hardest part. The not knowing - a of my "happiness delusions" have been smashed and this is a positive. I'm not expecting "true love," big houses, fancy cars, or even happiness.
Just a small place. A girl who understands life's pain. Maybe a puppy. And happiness sometimes. In between the hurt.
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Replies (1)
Love and no worries,
C.C.