May 10, 2013

What's Going On With You BTB Viewers?

by Benny Choice (author's profile)

Transcription

What's going on with you BtB viewers? I hope life is treating you kind out there. I want to start by saying I apologize for falling off the earth on you. I have been really really occupied with my work. I recently achieved one of my goals. I received my HSED, it took me a while to get it. I had a road block for a mind. I tell y'all, that math was killing me softly, but everything else was a piece of cake. I wanted to give up, but that wasn't an option for me. I got through it, in the end it felt good to receive that piece of paper, then on top of that, I was focused on my case. Now that took up a lot of my attention, I trying to get my life back. This prison life is not for me, these people I'm surround by are low down dirty people. They will try to do anything to drive me crazy. These people as in DOC C/O gallivant these prison like they don't have a life of their own, they don't want to see us go home 'cause if we go home they don't have a job and nothing to do. These C/O make it harder for us to live in here, they create hostile environment to drive us crazy. Do you people know that DOC is heartless, they don't have a care in the world who they put in prison, there are special patient here. They don't belong here, they belong in one of those special institution, the government just want to open up a trust account in their name and seek the benefits that you or I will never see. I see what I spend off of my account but I don't get to see the transaction they are making in my name and with my money. All this is as in this prison is a live graveyard. These people are monopolizing off of our situation every chance they can get. You should see our canteen list. We have two canteen list, one for general population and for segregation, is expensive, a 3oz hand cream lotion cost $6.49 and 2 1oz white Vaseline tube cost 77 cents and these items are not available in population. Vaseline in population cost 79 cents for a 4 or 5oz container and hand cream in population cost $1.29 for a 6oz bottle, that's not all, that's just the tip of the iceberg, these people are exploiting us just like women in the workforce outside these walls or kid in another country working for pennies. The government is robbing you and me. But they are not behind bars like me, what they are doing is "justified".

This prison life is like an emotional roller coaster, it goes up and down. Some time I think I'm never going to make it home. I'm going to do something to them or the other way around. These people are dirty 'cause they know they can be dirty 'cause in the end they know they will get away with it. It's crazy, zoo animals are being taken care of better than us. These people are dehumanizing us in here and it seem that a form of genocide is being used by the prison system to monopolize and exploit us. They turn these prison into factories, their own sweatshop factory. What happen to the code of ethics they supposed to stand for. Instead they stand behind hidden agenda. They say prison is for punishment and to rehabilitate us, or is it? They are not trying to clean up the streets, if they did clean up the streets there will not be anybody to put in jail, so they keep the streets dirty so people can spread the evil. If there's no more crime, a lot of people would be out of work. They don't want peace, equity or sustainability.

This government does not want us inmate to be rehabilitated or success out there in the real world 'cause if we do success that means they don't have anybody to occupy these prison cell, but I'm going to make it my business to succeed in here and out there in the real world. I have what it takes to succeed. I have multiple skills like writing. I'm very good at writing poetry and song, on top of that I can sing and rap a little. I'm also good with my hands, I can build things, fix things, I can paint, I know how to put down carpet, let's just say I'm handy. I'm athletic, who can stop me when I get out? No one but me. Well, BtB viewers, I'm about to park this pen until next time, but before I put this pen up I'm going to leave you with a poem or two. Please give me your thoughts and your criticism, I would appreciate it, so I will leave you to read these poems, I hope you enjoy them. One more thing, I'm no longer at WSPF Prison, I'm at WCI Prison, I will leave you with my new info. Be easy, BtB viewers.

Benny Choice #454160
Waupun Correctional Inst
PO Box 351
Waupun, WI 53963-0351

Breakdown

My mind is in prison
Ever since I lost my loved one
I can't breathe or eat
My body won't move an inch.
My pride been capture by my mind.
I used to be a dreamer,
Now I'm a prisoner.
My hope is dying slowly and painful
It hurts so much I have black outs.
I would cry, but I don't know how.
Everything is building up
Inside of me,
They say it's rage and it like
A ticking time bomb and
It's ready to blow
At any second.
There's no medicine that can cure
These emotion.
I'm drowning with bitterness,
No power to stand up.
I'm afraid to fall asleep,
Nightmare waiting to humiliate
Me once more.
Pressure never stop knocking
At my conscious.
How long is this going to last?
I hope not for ever.
My hunger for hope is empty.
I'm wondering is this rock bottom
For me or do I have a chance
To overcome my
Fears.

By Choice

Decision

What is our purpose in life?
We might never know
What our life purpose is
But if we don't try to figure it out
We're going to be at a standstill
In our journey.
If you don't know where you're going
You'll probably end up somewhere
Else at a dead end.
Knowing is not enough.
We must charge to our destination
To see what lies there,
Before it passed us up.
We must live each day as if
it were on purpose.
There's no time to be wasted, so
Stop your whining and start
Running to that destination.
Sacrifices have to be expected
In order to win.
Whatever the mind can understand
The body can conquer.
The difference between triumph and failure
Is determination.
Success is created by the action
You take every day.
So what are you going to do with the
One life you have?

By Choice

I hope you enjoyed the poems. There's more to come. Be easy, BtB viewers, from Silver Back LB

Take care

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Replies (5) Replies feed

jollyfuton Posted 9 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 9 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
You inspired me to write this.

Used to be an individual
now I'm just a complex number
stripped away from my own individuality
made me uncomfortably wake from my
slumber.

Used to be a boy wonder.
I was living the life.
didn't think I'd get sucked under,
didn't think I'd end up wanting to kill myself
with a hunting knife.

My wrongful deeds has made me feel as if I'm living in a dreadful still life
picture
wishing someone would look at me
and reconsider and view me as a normal fixture.

bluelotus Posted 9 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 9 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
The poem "Breakdown" is quite intense...could feel your pain while reading it. I write poetry too sometimes...I tend to feel better when I express myself. I hope it has the same effect on you and you have moved on from that dark state of mind you were in...

bigvarick Posted 9 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 9 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
I have been looking for you and i have sent you a letter but it got returned, you have really grown up young man I am proud of you keep writing take all you see, hear,and think and turn it all to good, I love you your unk Varick.

Benny Choice Posted 8 years, 9 months ago.   Favorite
(scanned reply – view as blog post)

Benny Choice Posted 8 years, 9 months ago.   Favorite
(scanned reply – view as blog post)

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