August 2011 Blog

Well, it has been a minute since I have written. I'm hoping by now that the new pictures have been posted and you can enjoy not just my words but my beauty too! :) I cut the hair short. It seems to be a big hit, but I miss my long hair.

Congratulations to my friends Molly and Chels. They had their first child, a boy named Xavier, and they are over the moon.

Things have been a little rough lately, as I have been in the throws of a deep depression. One of those where I just can't see myself getting to the end of all of this. What will my life look like? Who will want an old queen? Etc, etc, etc. I sometimes wonder what this is all for. What have I done with my life?

I find myself questioning my very existence lately. Who have I made a difference for? Prison can be a very dangerous place to fall into depression. There has to be more than just this!

I saw a story on the evening news about a little girl who wanted nothing more than to give clean drinking water to kids and was saving up her money to do it. She sadly died in a car accident before she could reach her goal of just $300. Now since her passing she has raised more than $1,000,000. She did more in just nine years than I have in my whole life.

If anyone is reading this has any ideas, please let me know. What if we all did just one thing to change the community in a positive way? What have you done lately for the homeless or the kids in our country that go to bed hungry? If any of you know a food bank, soup kitchen, ect. in your area, see if they need volunteers two hours a week.

I make $0.22. Yes, America, that's $0.22 an hour at my job assignment in prison. 55% of that goes to restitution every month, so my take-home pay is roughly $16.00 a month, of which I now send $5.00 a month to a food bank in Sacramento. Is it not much at all, but it may inspire others here to do the same or someone on the streets to do something similar. There are a lot of inmates that do walk-a-thons here in the institution to benefit local charities several times a year.

Okay, so N-J-Ways prison sucks still, and I can't wait to leave. But let me tell you, it is a bitch trying to get through it. Without my family and friends, I would have taken myself out long ago. The constant stress does bad things. Hopefully, my next blog post will be on a more positive note. Remember: my address is on my profile page, and you can always write me directly or just leave a comment.

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog and leaves comments.

Love through struggle.
Terra