Reflection On A Friday

" I came in like a wrecking ball, I just
closed my eye and Swung" those are the
works of a Miley Cyrus song I heard today
that brought a smile to my face. No
other song has contained lyrics that so truly
capture my life as it was just a few years ago.
I guess wisdom is defined as lessons learn from
experience and through all my adult years have
been spent in prison I am sometimes amazed that
I entered the system so naïve and gullible.
Ten years ago when I was seventeen if you had
told me that some of the most rotten human beings
on earth appear nice and even charming I wouldn't
have believed. If you had told me that some of the
most dangerous men on earth are soft spoken and polite
and that most loudmouths are harmless I'd have believed
you were daft. Life is a full of lessons and I truly
wonder how many things I have yet to learn about the
world I live in. Some prisoners who have known me for
years tell me I've mellowed out and this is true in part.
But mostly I just pick my battles and I fight them
differently. Once upon a time powerful men and women
lefty me in awe. Now I am only in awe of power not those
who hold it because I have learned that even the powerful
can be stupid, vain and useless vessels whose power goes
nowhere. Once upon a time my temper was like a stick of
dynamite on a short fuse. Now my displeasure is expressed
no less powerfully but I am patient and meticulous ensuring
that when I hold adversaries accountable they are struck
with precision rather than speed. Most importantly the battles
I now fight are motivated more by my beliefs than to seek revenge
for some real or perceived insult. I used to say I would change the
world, that it wouldn't change me. The truth is that the world did
change me even if I am no less inclined to change it. I arise after
mistake faster, smarter and stronger than before and though I still
hate making mistakes. I appreciate the value of learning a lesson.
Once upon a time if someone did me wrong I would bury inside with
rage so hot it felt as if o would combust if o did not release it.