Daniel Gwynn Blog Update
Date: 10/7/13
Subject: "Mind-cation"

I've been going through a lot these past few months -- legal, physical & mentally. In my journey, I've discovered how intensely pervasive & debilitating stress can be. I grew eerily tired & ill-tempered due to the tension built up. It was one thing after another. So I decided to take a MIND-CATION.

I've decided to mentally check out of the building. I continued to function at my job & other activities, just without my sunny, cheerful & light-hearted disposition. I spoke when spoken to, did what was required of me, and kept my thoughts & opinions to myself. I've focused on my painting & writing. People I've encountered all thought I was mad at them because I wasn't my normal cheerful self. I think it was their guilt being projected onto my truth, as they reflected their mistreatment of me. I'm not mad at anyone except my lawyers. I had my fill of people's bullshit, and was tired of how every other word I'd say became an argument -- all because my words were taken out of context & misunderstood. Even when I tried to clarify my position, it still turns into a huge debate. I'm not the one for all of that nonsense, because nothing ever comes of it, and something is always said that can't be taken back.

The irony is that, everyone thought that I was upset with them, and attempted to cheer me up. but when I was cheerful & sociable, they all worked to tear me down with their constant criticisms, snipes & negativity. Even a few guards fit the bill.

My lawyers are the true cause of my distress & deep depression. My case should be moving forward in the federal court, but instead they're holding me back by refusing to respect my wishes. They claim to be acting in my best interest, but I know better and can't do anything about it until their insanity plays out. When I told them that they work for me and must follow my direction, they practically laughed in my face. It seems that if the lawyer claims that he's "acting in my best interest" that the court allows them to disregard my wishes. So the judge granted their motion to throw a monkey wrench in my legal proceedings. I was so mad that I thought that dropping my appeals and letting the State execute me for a crime I didn't commit sounded like a good idea. But that wouldn't accomplish anything.

I realized that I'd be hurting my family more than the lawyers who mock my constitutional rights. Not only have I been victimized by the police, DA & the courts, now it's by my lawyers. Depression can conjure up some major irrational thinking. I thank God for quieting my mind and showing me that life is worth living. God has provided me with the strength to endure my trials, and the serenity to have patience.

My "Mind-cation" has helped me clear my head of all of the negative energy & irrational thinking that was proving detrimental to my health. Today I am much stronger.

Daniel Gwynn