10/12/11

Reasonably Sane (LOL)

If you knew me in the gap, then you knew I could be thrown for real behind my men. How things changed and how I am now reasonably sane. Seeing how a few of those closest to me would argue that I was certifiable at the time we were together. Kick doors, lighting... it all went. Now I got my head on straight, and my head listens to my heart. Do not ever go for a ride with her... A couple might say. They did not like the country. LOL

You know I'm reasonably sane enough to still make jokes in the midst of my own pain. I reread my comments from the 4th of October, and I'm glad I'm not who I was two years ago. Some people better be glad I'm not who I was four years ago, and damn sure not six years ago.

James (Nashi) Miller: independent. Will never cease to be a part of my vocabulary. Speaking of independent of your spouse: every time you had sex, got head, texted, im'ed, wrote a female the way you were supposed to do towards me—you acted independently. You now get to enjoy your independence. You earned it! You got too many things you need to list for the damage your independent thinking has done to our relationship.

I'm reasonably sane enough to see through bullshit and lies. I'm a fool for not wanting to acknowledge what I already knew. You want to know something? I've never known a relationship to be a dictatorship and surely no marriage would last that way. Not one with me in it. You chopped off the head. You did that. No one planted doubts. Just truth and proof. I'd be certified insane if you think I don't believe Nakia—especially when she offered up the letters. Of course that was the candle on the cake. The icing, well, was the Facebook page. You abused what God has given to you.

I'm reasonably sane enough to realize how fucked up this whole thing has gotten. My kids' dad would say you got talked to better men they did. I was certifiable behind the girls' daddies and of course behind Rayton's dad.

I've learned to be honest and open with the rarest emotions and dearest wounds. I value my independence, know how to be interdependent and won't never be codependent ever on a man. I was codependent on things that didn't cheat, lie, or do me this way. Now those done me cold in a whole different way. Even on dope, I was on top. I was pretty certifiable, huh, Dennis?

Shoot, I had straight goons in my corner who'd get down for me and with me. I was reasonable sane enough to know I need men for some things. Certifiable in others. LOL

Man, I value my independence and a man who respects my independence as I do. He can find out that I'm able to be fully independent. My mind is sharp. Say I've always been on point. You see, I'm not dumb by any means. But I can play the role. I got many game faces I can put on. I'm reasonably sane. I've just played crazy.

So I'ma say this before I close... What's crazy in a man having a down broad who loves him but fails to realize her worth? Every ex realized after I was gone my value. Now they say there were certifiably insane to lose me. You'll say the same.

Smile...

P.S. I'm going to do my pre-release lab work at 1:45 PM today.
P.P.S. Reasonably sane enough to realize I love me enough to walk away. Certifiable insane would be to stay.