Reply ID: 4vij

Pax Vobiscum:
"Every man and every woman is a star."

Klflyod 7:
Humble and kindest greetings.

Peace? Ah, such a precious island for one to pursue and find, and even moreso to truly grasp and hold onto.

However, my kind sir, peace is something I did discover some years ago, after serving some seven years behind a steel door in solitary confinement. After I sat and listened to grown men come apart piece by piece because they couldn't handle the solitude, nor having to face themselves alone. I've seen 'em commit suicide and, even worse, I've seen their minds snap, leaving them nothing more than literal zombies.

One can endure only so much physical and mental abuse before they either lose the will to live or let go of all sanity. I've witnessed these limits and, even sadder was that the atrocities were inflicted by so-called good and lawful American citizens, mostly acclaimed Christians, a few Muslims. All the same, these atrocities were inflicted by so-called religious peoples. Yet the cold and dark evil that drove them was enough to send shivers down any preacher or Imam's spine.

Yes! Peace I discovered among all the screams and bloodshed. I am one of the fortunate ones, and I am grateful to have discovered myself in a way that very few ever do. Even beyond these prison walls. There are those outside whom are in far worse prisons than any behind these stone walls.

Peace and tranquility are mere states of mind. One must face themselves and all their demons in order to achieve this state of mind. Once one realizes the impermanence of this old world and that the main causes of suffering is attachment and the illusion of existence, then it's fairly easy to accept one's own faults and embrace the karmic debt owed.

I write about the things seen and experienced along my road to self-discovery, and sometimes I write about the pain of loss. The roads of life aren't easy and every day has its battles and its lessons. Knowing this now enables me to deal with life more as an ongoing education than as something that has to be tamed or conquered.

I am far from where I'd like to be, yet I am much further than I'd have ever dreamed of: I am not perfect, I have committed many wrongs in my time here on Earth. What separates me from most is that I have matured enough to know and accept the fact that 96% of my pain and suffering was caused by my own ignorance. I blame no one for where I am, nor where I've been. I alone accept the full responsibility for all I've seen and endured. I am quite thankful now to have been allowed to actually see and survive the darker side of life. It enables to me to actually appreciate the smallest of beauties of life all the more. A simple smile to me is like the warmth of a noon day sun to the average person. Genuine laughter is as exhilarating as seeing one's own child born. Life is what we make it, no matter where we are.

"Sifting through the ashes of yesterday, it's often a bit hard to grasp this thing called life and all it has demanded of me.

A thousand years cloaked in heartache and pain, bathed in an ocean of salty tears. Yet somehow, I've managed to remain somewhat sane.

No complaints could I honestly offer, for in truth, I've been quite a fortunate person."

Excerpt from Graciously
Written: July 22, 2017