9/9/14
Noose

Every memory
that causes me
to lose my breath
is a small death
that I struggle
back to life from.

====

2/14/14
Say Something

I vomit
my soul
at your feet
disgust/contempt
crosses your feet
She tells me everything
when she says nothing
Her tears
She hides behind.
I'm left behind
Hollowed out/empty bird nest
devoid of everything
including of what happens to you

====

2/14/14
Play Dead Stupid

leaves gather on my
door step.
I am too lonely to
have company.
A quick look out the
window blinds
Sun/harsh light
penetrate the dark
gloom I hide
Hurts to see you
coming home sad.

====

1/19/15
Rabbit Hole

I'm going to lose myself
in the sweet madness of despair
exhale my last breath
swim down deep into misery.
See if I can find you there
What a grand reunion it will be.

====

1/14/15
To My Loved Ones

There is something beastly
waiting for me
to bleed my heartdry
so it can take over
and destroy me.

====

7/9/14
Love Songs With Satan's Chair

My pretty moth
would mock me
with her ability to fly away.
As the spiders of memories
sip the nectar
that once was my heart.

====

10/29/14
Squished Heart

What's left of love
slowly drips
out from clenched fist.

====

12/1/13 - pub down in the dirt
Drunk Father

My sisters and I
would huddle in silence
as the storm raged
inside our house.

====

5/23/13
Expose

Every poem
about my father's failures
is a testament
of my own failures
as a father.

====

5/17/12
Feast

Hungry ants
carried away
my soul
as I slept
under a blazing sun.

====

1/19/14
Suicidal Alice

I found myself
trying to force
split tears
back into my eyes
You're not worth the pain
of feeling betrayed.

====

6/6/13
Herion Whore

Every pin prick
was a filthy wish
for eternal oblivion.

====

6/6/13
Worm Wood

Only the dead
only the hungry
envy the prisoner.

====

4/4/14
Maze

I get lost
inside my mind
where the past echoes.

====

Pyrite
Fools gold hope
allowed me to smile
through the lonely cold nights when
she left me
collecting pain
like old coins.

====

5/17/12
Spare Change

My soul
is a wishing well
that no one uses.

====

11/27/13
Warped Consolation

Cheating wife
thinking of you
as she fucks
some one else

====

2/13/13
Not Enough

Every single tear
I've caused you
to shed
drowns me in your sorrow.

====

1/25/07 - published
Crimson Rose

A tiny seed has fallen
into the pit of lies and deception
with enough tears
Some day a beautiful rose
will add color to the dark world.

====

8/16/12
Labyrinth of Self

Somewhere
behind this veil of pain and confusion
I watch myself
stumbling around in blind terror
trying to find a way out.

====

8/13/15
Something In My Eye

I love crying
because the tears
blind me to the harsh reality
of living.

====

8/15/15

I shall feel the courage to walk into the dark
forest of self, and set fire to the only home
I've ever known.

====

11/17/08
Live

I live where dreams go to die
where soft becomes hard
where wives become just friends
where kids grow but never age
where blood flows easier than tears.

====

8/7/13
Roommate

I've begun to rent
the room you left
when you
tore out my heart.

====

1/1/15
Deluge

Tears and blood mized
into a paste
kept our marriage intact.
Violent rains came
and washed it all away.

====

2/29/13
Tired of Weeping

My pretty mate
flow too close to my flame
singed her demon wings
She can no longer fly away
Now she weeps
because I walked away.

====

7/24/13
Love Please Forgive Me

Angry hands
clenched into pain inducing birds of prey
faraway stars
slam into the back of her eyes.
Crimson fluid induced prayers
slowly escape through battered lips.

====

3/11/12
She Would If She Could

She pleads
please forget me
as she pulls away from my embrace
leaving bloody furors across my skin
to remember her by.

====

1/19/14
Throne of Pain

I sit in a darkened room
trying to find the string
that binds me to this life of pain and tears
the only sound I can hear
is of falling tears
only I'm not crying
and I'm sure
that I'm alone.

====

8/22/12
Silt

A hear broken
leaks out
the need to live
and begins to see
beauty in sickness.

====

1/19/14
God's Waiting Room

I sit in my pain
admiring how far
my other emotions
are from me.

====

Hello.

I am back to rattling on and on about how sad I am. Just kidding! Life in chains gets easier when you're almost done serving the prison sentence. I am OK with my life today, as I got my growing bald, graying hair cut. I realized that I watched my heir go from blondish/brown to gray/brown while sitting in a chair as a fellow convict cuts my hair.

I am now taking college courses, go to groups such as Toastmaster, AA, etc., walk out, and seldom cry. So I'm winning.

I found out I am going to be a grandpa. :) I'm excited and look forward to reuniting with my children and granddaughter in four years.

The poems—some have been published already, but I don't know which ones.

Peace,

Roland
11/12/17