Just another day "Up The Creek..."
5/7/2018 8:28 AM

It has been a long time since last we spoke. I was shipped to "The Q", San Quentin State Prison. I arrived with 100 other inmates who for reasons to convoluted to get into were not welcome here. Men were beaten, stabbed, ridiculed, and threatened. The state decided to make it work at all cost. We are the cost.

It was decided, by the state, to remove all who posed a threat to the "100". Approx. 150 inmate gang members were transferred out, it being decided they posed an unacceptable threat to "us". So now it just "us" (The 100 men transferred in) against the 2,500 mainline, active G.P. inmates that were here when we arrived.

We were told; "Don't worry, we (the state) put out a memo so it's all good, we have changed the prison culture that has been here for 153 years. In the months to come we will be identifying threats, "Sharks", and will then transfer them out. An officer told me shortly after this that when fishing for sharks, you use "Chum". He then informed me, we were the chum! It is what it is.

There are reasons that I need to stay here. I have a Psychologist who is wise, insightful, caring, and not afraid to ask tough questions. I find that this is the best chance I've ever had of fixing the faulty wiring that has led to my incarceration on 7 occasions. So if I fight against the transfer here and seek to leave, I am in fact fighting against the best chance I've ever had of achieving the healing and recovery that is necessary to my wellbeing and chance of lasting freedom. A hard place to be in, kind of like up the creek..;)

Yesterday I went to my first AA meeting here. I am the first of the 100 to attended such a group. The response from other members was total silence. Imagine you go to join a group. You arrive and there are 18 others there. Their response to your presence is to sit in total silence for an hour and stare at you. How would that affect your recovery that is already shaky due to the high stress environment?

Yea, exactly. But, just for today my mind will be focused on living life without drugs, on having a program of recovery, and on my new associations who have found a way to live without drugs and are facing life on life's terms. Just for today...

Peace & Light
Russ