Personal Journal

7/2/18

Rest is a part of creativity, something that we all do when we put something down on paper, decide want to wear, or just fix something to eat. The arts are in all of us. So how is everyone doing on their creativity?

It's Tuesday, and I'm moving slow. Don't get me wrong, I'm still dancing. Just a little slower and feel the pain a lot more. When I was in my 20s and lifting weights, I could run in the morning. I could do a mile full-out in around four minutes. Now, it hurts too much to even think about running. I do try to walk around the track almost every day. It takes me about 15 minutes to do a mile, and I try to do six or eight laps. About all the exercise I get here. :) About all the exercise I can do. :)

We were locked down yesterday. The guards were searching somewhere. We've been getting a lot of that lately, as some dumbass in Sacramento thinks to mix GPs (general population) and SNYs (sensitive needs yard). They're not together for a reason. Changing the names of the yards to program and non-program doesn't change who the people are.

I had to stop for a bit to rest my hand. The swelling is all day and, most of the time, I have to make myself do things like write or paint. Things I enjoy and love doing, but now it's all about feeling the burn. :)

I have been working on a painting of the Old World Theater on 9th Street for weeks now. I've been doing it on a 6"x9" canvas (I do almost everything on 6"x9" now). I've been detailing it a lot of half-inch people. A lot of small writing on the theater and building around it. My brushes are worn down so I go over it a lot, almost as hard on the fingers as writing. :)

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7/4/18

After all the friends you thought you had loved forgotten your very name, and you're left as the saying goes "without even a dog to bark at you," you can always find the one person who has always been there in your heart.

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7/5/18

This is my son, Stevie's, birthday. He would have been 46 today. We all miss you son, and I love you. It will be a beautiful day with sunshine in the 90s and a mild wind.

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7/6/18

I looked out my window this morning just before 5, and it's dark (the sky). There are black clouds keeping out the light. For a moment, I thought it might have been in the middle of the night. These could be storm clouds. I could go for a little rain like they're having in Texas and the east coast. :) Right now, the skies are completely red like a fire. How does the saying? Red skies in the morning, sailor's delight.

Jimmy has decided that he was going to put the emblems for the SF Giants on my desk and the 49ers on my locker top. He's doing a good job. I decided I would put on a can of paint while he was out calling his mama (mistake). My back hurt for hours because I had to stand up and bend down to paint it. :) Now i need to find him a SF Warriors to go on the end of my locker. Hey, I might as well get it done while there's someone willing and able. :) It has been so long it's hard for me to remember when I could move around like that or stay in one position without feeling the burn. :)

I finished the Old World Theater painting. I'm going to start on a portrait of my sister Linda now. I've done one of everyone except her and Tony. I've got some old pictures when she got out of prison in OK. I don't want to paint any of us as old.

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7/8/18

There's a big fire about ten miles from here. It's been burning for about three or four days. Someone said it was set off by fireworks. You can see the giant smoke cloud covering the sky to the northeast. I haven't been going outside because of the smoke in the air. Bad air days. :) We can even smell it here in the cell, and I'm using my inhalers a lot more.

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7/9/18

I don't know if it's the smoke blacking out the early sunrise or the sunrise just coming a little later. It didn't start becoming light until about 5:10. The daylight hours getting shorter.

Sometimes being out in the sun, walking, exercising, just drains an old man. I come back to the cell exhausted both physically and emotionally. Then I find that I am extending my afternoon naps. :) Cutting into my painting time.

I have been getting some painting done. I started a painting of a red-breasted bird surrounded by apples. I'm using watercolored pencils on a 4"x6" silk canvas. It's almost done in one day. I've been also working on a sketch of my sister Linda to paint. It's hard to sketch out when all the pictures I have of her only has a face that's 3/8 inch by 1/2 inch. :) It is what it is. I'll know when I've got it.

Today is Monday, blue Monday. It's allegedly coming up close to the middle of July. Where has my life gone?

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7/10/18

I finished the bird painting last night. I had to start over on the sketch of Linda. I wrote down the wrong eyes for the black I put it in. No matter what, it doesn't come out right. :) The new one's looking right.

I don't have any pains anywhere this morning. Not in any of my joints, not even my fingers. That worries me. :) I always have pains. My knees are stiff, my hands are numb but not in pain.

Someone else died here night before last. A guy named Billy. I used to work with him in the mess hall a couple of years ago. He had a brain angina.