Merry Christmas
December 8th, 2019

This is always a bitter sweet time of the year for me, as it is for many of us. So joyful to contemplate my Savior's coming into the world. So comforting to swell on His love, His care, His provision.
So bitter, if I be honest, to contemplate the lost freedom, the "aloneness" of life behind these walls, locked away with thousands of other men feeling similar feelings. Gets dangerous. I do not care to think on "what hurts" though. Hurts of those kinds we carry always, or we get over with His help, but the joys of today, these things are fleeting.
What exactly are the "joys of today"? Well, sometimes we need to search those out-amen. But do search for them, because even in the worst possible circumstances, they are here with us. For me this day, that joy came from answering a letter from a very dear friend, Mother T, and from my new sponsor, to remain anonymous :). It comes from the knowledge that for some strange reason there are actually a few people who would be delighted to spend Christmas with me. That is a wonderful truth that brings Joy. I don't question that truth, because then those people are likely to seem crazy! ;) God bless them.
It has been a good year for me in San Quentin. I am sober and oh so so so thankful for that fact! I have a change to work and be a help in my own limited way, that too is a joy. I am healthier than ever before, strong and healthy. I continue to seek understanding, knowledge, a wee bit of wisdom. I am growing, but that is more often than not painful as all get out! :)But I am thankful for that too. What about you? What are you grateful for? Dwell on these things and... (Phil 4:8)
God Bless you and yours and Merry Christmas,
Love and Prayers,
Russ