Transcription
To: my lil cuz Ashley Hess,
Hi baby. How are you? I hope good.
I have never forgotten you. Every time I email with Desi, I ask how her sisters are doing. You, Nan, Brit and lil Til was just a baby when I came here. Look, you can email me at my Gmail, okay? It goes to my new sister Jen, and she forwards all emails to me. So don't write a novel or she'll have to print it on paper and mail it to me. You can sign up and email me directly, but each email costs .25. It's not free! So for now, just shoot me a message to my gmail: robertpezzeca@gmail.com.
Ok. I haven't seen you since you were so freakin' little! I don't speak to your parents, I have no desire to. They testified against me and helped me get a life sentence. But I have always loved you kids and, up until my mom died, me and Mom would talk about you's every week. She would get updates from Linda and tell me how everyone was. I used to write with Nan, but then she disappeared on me. And I could never get in touch again. Desi told me about Matthew's death. I know your grandmom was crushed over that. I heard from Michael a few times, but nothing since a few weeks after my mom died. I'm okay, Ash. Email me, email me your address + phone #. I'd love to talk to you again. Take care and stay safe. I love you, kiddo, even though you're not a kid anymore.My daughter is 24 now, but she's mad at me, so she isn't speaking to me right now. I hope to hear from you soon. Love you, lil cuz, Rob PS: Happy Birthday, lil cuz. I'm sorry I missed it. I am at a new prison called Coal Township. Where Mikey was. I have no idea how to get in touch with you. No one seems to know where you live, and I am trying. If you read this, Ashley, email me at robertpezzeca@gmail.com. I hope to hear from you, lil cuz. Love you. Rob
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Replies (4)
Hi Rob,
Last night, while grappling with some insomnia, I stumbled upon your interview from May 2021 on the "What is Life" podcast. Your opening remarks immediately captivated my attention, primarily due to the parallels between our respective childhood experiences. Your words continued to occupy my thoughts throughout the day today, leading me to find your blog here and happily see that you continue to advance your cause.
I'm a 47-year-old woman who grew up in a situation of extreme domestic violence in upstate New York. My childhood was rough. I share my life journey with a younger brother, and it never ceases to amaze our extended family that he did not end up incarcerated for life given the persistent troubles he had. At times, these difficulties were of his own making, but more often he found himself in a cycle of blame because he was a rough kid and it was easy to point a finger and create a stereotype.
Your insights during the podcast, particularly your mention of the scarcity of caring individuals and the absence of assistance in charting a course away from a pattern of poor decisions, resonated with me. What set my trajectory apart, I believe, was the eventual discovery of individuals who were willing to extend a hand. It was also because I performed very well academically and had decided for myself not to accept the card I had been dealt. It wasn't too late for me, but it could have gone in a very different direction. I empathize with 21 year old you. We are the same age and could have easily been friends if I were in PA instead of NY. My journey has led me to a point of relative well-being, and it heartens me to witness your own transformative journey (minus the whole huge mistake and life imprisonment thing of course). I hope you don't mind my very dry often inappropriate humor.
Anyway, I hope your month is going well and the nice fall weather has arrived to wherever you're currently located. I have so many questions I'd love to ask you, but need to run to a zoom meeting for work. I've been trying to make this comment for hours and keep getting so rudely interrupted by coworkers. So for now, I'll leave you with a Japanese concept that I think you'll appreciate if you hadn't heard of it before.
Kintsugi (金継ぎ, "golden joinery"), also known as kintsukuroi (金繕い, "golden repair") - When the Japanese mend broken objects they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. The point is to embrace the imperfect and make the best of what you are experiencing now rather than dwelling on how things might have been better.
こんばんは (konbanwa - good evening)
-CJ
PS - I'm not Japanese, just a language nerd.