Reply ID: 6qnj and ngbu

Yeah, Mom. I bet like a lot of things in my life, you didn't like my point of view because it paints a picture of you contrary to your own view of yourself. Your financial instability has been due to your own bad financial choices so suck it up and don't blame your family.

When I go home, my mother will know I love her just as she has always known that, but I will be too hold for that love to be used as a tool to manipulate me. And you speak of "peace." Well, rest assured: I am an independent thinker and am well capable of getting a job and my own apartment or home, so you just rest your pretty head about having "peace." You have demonstrated for nine years that you have no desire to be in my life. Believe me, I can wait twenty years to be the one to repay the favor.

And cut the crap about being so happy to "find" this website. For years, you had every opportunity to send a letter, fill out visiting forms to visit, or (since 2008) just send me an email. You chose not to. You ignored holidays. You even ignored by birthday. No, your miraculous desire to communicate is because you wanted to defend yourself form my harsh and very public criticism of you. Nobody prevented me from writing you. I never missed a birthday. I never missed a Mother's Day. Not even in the midst of riots, murders, even when the building was on fire.

You talk about "love" and "missing" you son, but what did you do when your son was beaten and stabbed nearly to death by white supremacists? What did you do when your son overdosed on pills in Florida and spent six days in ICU with a breathing tube? What did you do when your son was beaten unconscious and raped by other inmates? You did nothing. Not even a reply to acknowledge my pain. Not a letter to authorities demanding help for your son.

You are not only a sorry excuse for a parent but as a human being. You are destitute because you frivolously spend your money. You have diabetes because you eat junk food recklessly and have not exercised once in my twenty-six years of life. Your family abandoned you because you have always cared only for yourself. You "cry" when other people hurt you, yet I have seen you do nothing but shun and hurt those who care about you your whole life. The very cruelest thing I could do to you is to leave you alone like you did your own mother and father. She died alone in a hotel room and he died alone in a hospital. Will you die alone?

As much as I despise you for all you have done while trying to feign innocence, you won't die alone because, at the end of the day, I love you against all the reasons not to and most of all because I don't want to be like you. You can come onto my blog and try to manipulate my readers, but have a spine and be more direct and honest about it. Because you can believe I will reply from the heart with brutal honesty. I am twenty-six years old and have defeated some of the government's best lawyers in court before, so you would do well not to presume that I am naive, gullible or stupid. I am not fifteen years old anymore, which you might have known had you bothered to stay in touch. I don't "misinterpret" your words; I just either don't agree or find you to be often disingenuous about things.

If you want to be in my life, pick up a pen and speak to me and stick with it. All your other lies, excuses, and nonsense I can only say, "Cut the crap, Mom." Prison taught me some things are very important. 1.) You live only once and 2.) You make your own destiny. So if you were so motivated and caring, you would do more to be in my life. You speak well, but your actions betray you and they always will.