December 5th, 2010

Hello world!

It snowed yesterday for the first time this season and for a few hours I could forget that I was in prison. My heart and mind were at peace as I remembered Christmas holidays past. As I was amazed watching the beauty of creation fluttering down, or floating down around me.

I also enjoyed a pleasant Thanksgiving meal. The best in four years. Real turkey slices and a flavorful stuffing and mashed potatoes with a slice of pumpkin pie for dessert. I have truly learnt to be grateful for the many small blessings experienced day to day.

Of course it can never compare to a meal shared with family and made with love. A few days before, I heard about two men who worked in the kitchen getting into a fight. So they will be spending the holidays in seg (segregation), or also called "the hole". It's common for fights to break out with little warning. There are so many knuckleheads in prison and the stress or boredom pushes men beyond reason. So it was funny and not unexpected to hear the fight was about mashed potatoes. Specifically about how they should be cooked. From that you can imagine anything, but I'd like to believe one guy was trying to prevent the other guy from doing something evil. Like stealing some to sell, or adding "something" that would make us sick to think about.

The easy thing to do is be the evil thug. The much harder thing to do is to maintain dignity and integrity. The convicts see it as weakness so you're always having to make a stand, or go violent. The officers think it's a joke since most see inmates as scum. Your friends and family, 95% anyway, have turned their backs on you out of disgust and disrespect. So it hurts less to simply harden your heart and become cold and bitter. I can understand why so many men simply say "screw it" and embrace life as a criminal. Sad, but understandable.

Good night... For a few hours I can escape this place into my dreams.

David