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Perfect and beautiful, just as the other that I read enclosed with your letter. When I read this, it takes me many places in my heart soul and mind which is a nice little vacation while it lasts. (smile) You write beautifully and so much of your poetry amazes me, mainly because it manages to SPEAK to me which rarely does any other poetry people write manage to do. Ive never been able to respond to others poems, and I do mean never. I could write them, but I couldnt FEEL the ones coming from other writers even in school. I guess I also love how you can take a simple THOUGHT, and turn it into several lovely defined ways of describing that thought until finally it makes sense on more than just one level to the person reading it. whether they relate to it or not, its there and its deep. Much love, always! -CC

I could not have explained it better myself, to those who think prisoners should not have the use of a telephone (!!) and be out of touch with their loved ones the entire time. I dont understand that, because being down itself IS the punishment alone, you are not there for more punishment. Some states are worse than some others, Ive noticed. I wont say which ones but some have rules that simply make no (common) sense and seem just downright an easy way to be cruel and force the issue that you dont deserve this or that. The county jail in one of my towns will only let you call one phone number, one try, sorry if they do not answer, sorry if they try to call back a second later, etc and that number has to be FROM THAT VERY CITY. Not any other. And there are no other options available. Other than writing letters after waiting the 2-3 weeks for them to process your information and allow you access to the canteen to buy items like stamps and envelopes etc. Now, one county away from here, they have been for 2 yrs or so allowing people in that larger jail to buy prepaid phone cards (they used to be able to call collect there too, not sure if they still can but this jail in this town does not even allow that option!) But the prepaid phone cards still are badly overpriced like mad. And its not as if I can go to the local Islamic Market where they sell the cheap international rate phone cards and get one there for about a $20 difference on the same amount of time, because the ones that they are allowed to USE are ONLY the ones sold in the larger jail's own store. No others can be sent in, only bought there from them. And these are just how the jails around here work, much less the prisons in my state which I can imagine are much more crazy than what I know of them. (we have so many, for one, but that doesnt surprise me considering they have always talked about how prisons make more money so they are closing down schools and building more correctional complexes not to mention the private prisons who moved in also, I think they own at least 3 of ours here) Its really unfair and causes quite a bit of emotional upset, especially to relatives of those who are down that dont have the option of writing letters like older great grandmothers and such just not understanding why their grandson doesnt call anymore and has forgotten them. Its sad.

P.S. One more thing- that I was supposed to add to your photos post about the NUVO Sparkling Liqueur pic (smile)....did you know they have released a new flavor and are about to release 2 other new ones also? The bright pink served over ice is the original, the one I have had and was talking about earlier. Now they have a bright yellow that comes in the same three sizes (200 up to 750 mL) as the pink does only its called Lemon Sorbet. Its supposed to be great, Ive heard some good things and will see when I get back to the city if there is any at the store. The other 2 flavors coming anytime now are, get this, Peach Cobbler and then also RED VELVET CAKE!! Now that sounds just great, red velvet cake yes! Thats one Im actually waiting to just try even if it doesnt end up being a favorite, its a gotta give a shot, for sure!!

Ive actually seen many (once successful at the start) businesses collapse all because the owner/bosses/managers etc were not good at communicating their ideas, how they felt, their concerns and issues, etc. None of them were good at it, so they just didnt try. The employees became frustrated quickly and said it was like you were expected each day to read your bosses mind or he'd act p'd off at you. I know what they mean, but at least when I was experiencing that my boss was most likely having a bad day, bad half a day, bad hour, whatever.....if I had to have a boss or work for a company owned by someone who not only expected me to be psychic but got easily angered when I could not be, that would suck! But thats been a problem at offices before especially office jobs, and also even worse in the field of telemarketing. Lately, alot of people in the small town Im from have been complaining about the phone company AT&T's support line which they all work at, if a user of an AT&T phone has a problem or question with the product their calls come right here to the call center, where one of the workers helps them through what to do. Imagine trying to do that job, with an annoyed customer whose IPhone wont function correctly on the other line, when you have a boss or someone above you professionally who not only fails to but refuses to try and communicate clearly or at all. The only MIND READING I can do is this: I would for sure lose my mind tolerating a job like that within just 2-4 weeks, and Ive worked at some hard impossible places meanwhile while working a second side job as well at the UPS AIRHUB loading airplanes at the Intl City Airport....it was the USA's only Airhub for UPS and it was so busy each shift. Crazy busy sorting, scanning and loading the planes. Yet at least it was too loud to talk there so there was no need for communication as there is with office type jobs (haha) and such, other than the occasional hand gesture from across the way to another line. I miss that place at times!!

I thought of my father when I saw the title of this post, From The Street Corner to the Corner Office. Because thats literally him. (smile) No joke, that is him. He was only 18 when I was born and my mother was only 17 at the time, still in high school a year under him and he had already graduated in 1982. She graduated in 1983 in late May/early August and had me in September, and nobody ever knew or believed she was pregnant! (haha seriously) As a joke, I sometimes tell people that know me or my family well enough that I technically graduated from high school TWICE in that case. ;) But Dad had to grow up fast, and he spent until the 90s hit on the street corner and working small time jobs here and there sleeping maybe just 4 hrs a day, and then got lucky with a job offer due to his charisma dealing with sales and managing others in an effective manner when it came to the steel processing industry, he was able to handle both and went from, literally, the street corner to the corner office within 10 yrs or less. He often doesnt even give himself any credit so Ill do so for him from time to time. Hes the only one in the family (his side of the family) among his remaining siblings that ever truly earned their place in the workforce and truly worked hard/earned every penny they made on their paychecks. The blood sweat and tears he had to put into that at such a young age (In 1992, I was 9 yrs old so in 92, he would have still been pretty young for such a job, lets see, only 27-28 yrs old depending on the month! Thats just a bit younger than I am now, and he was only a high school graduate who took 1 or 2 business classes at the local community college). If he would share his story (and had shared his story more back in the day when I was a kid to friends of mine around the neighborhood in the city, etc) it would be amazing. Because even though he had always been the one out of his brothers/sisters that got out daily and did ANYTHING he could for money/a side job whether it was mowing yards, shoveling snow, landscaping, pulling weeds, washing a neighbors car, delivering newspapers, weed eating for neighbors, going grocery shopping at the corner store up the street in the neighborhood where he and his brothers were raised for the older couples on the street, etc etc the list goes on and on of things this man did even as a kid barely being 6-7 yrs old when he began to understand that there was nobody able to take care of him better than himself so hed best do it... which he did, and has continued to do, all of his life and still does to this day. I truly doubt he will ever retire and if he is forced to (lol) Im sure he will get a job again even as a 100 yr old man as a Wal Mart greeter. He even mentioned that himself years ago, he would never stop working because its not something he knows how to even do. Thats true. without work to do, he is lost.

Hello, Christopher. I also watched the MSNBC program you were featured in. I must say, it surprised to learn that anyone thinks you are a dangerous person. You struck me as friendly and polite and thoughtful. The prison system is so odd in the way that it decides who is "too dangerous" to be in general population. Hang in there, Brother. I am impressed by your spirit and intellect, despite the beast's attempts to put out both.

I was especially interested in what you said about Frankenstein, that the prison system is Frankenstein and it creates monsters. A lot of scholars have sympathized with Frankenstein's monster throughout literary history, and I think you're on to something. Keep writing. You have a gift, and we who have access to your insights are priveleged.

Solidarity,
jes.

Is that NUVO in that one photo?? Oh nevermind, haha I know it is!! I keep that in my bar I have for when visitors come over for the Holidays, etc and one year everyone went on and on about how they hated to open it because it was so "beautiful" LOL I agree, I dont know anybody who can walk down the Liquor Barn aisles and not have their eye drawn to that big pink drink with the neat cap on top thats all shiny and silver! (smile) I cant believe thats in your photo haha thats the best!! Other than your photo, Ive always been the ONLY person who has it at my house/the only reason anyone else ever gets introduced to it- theyve never heard of it down here in this small town and in the city where my ex works at a liquor store its everywhere and usually out of stock within a week or two at that. (smile) I also love the photo because of the truck, cos Ive always said if I ever manage to get a truck (only thing holding me back the past few yrs has been the sometimes over 3.50/gallon fuel!) that it would be about like that one. Okay that is def one of my fave photos of you. (smile) You look good wearing black and the cross necklace too, and also the pic of you in the suit, one of the last ones is gorgeous. Another favorite is the New York 1788 and the other one taken where you are wearing the same thing only leaning against the wall where there is an old skool car painted as a background that looks so bad a$$, you look good there too (smile) you are very photogenic, wow! The one of you in the red jacket with the watch background is great too, another favorite. You are def able to style in the red (like that jacket), white (tees or anything white), and black (such as that Nuvo pic of you holding it out and wearing the black shirt with silver cross as a necklace)- so white and black shirts you can OWN them AND the color red when you wear them and red is hard to look good on people so feel special (smile) and especially that GORGEOUS PIC in the silver/white looking suit top in that one photo on the last page, not many guys I know can wear a suit even close to that color and pull it off! I def gotta print the Nuvo pic out though for my photo album!! (smile) That just hits too close to home plus I need a pic of you to go in there anyway and that would be perfect, my Mom is gonna smile when she sees that pic the next time shes flipping thru my album(s) cos she remembers me buying the Nuvo and she loved it actually. She was encouraging the Christmas party crowd over here that yes, the bottle is beautiful before its opened and drank, but the drink is even better HAHA. Much luv, C.C.

It's OK. I just figured you got caught up in the hectic prison life. I'm ready to get out of the center and get my own place but it's kind of hard because I have to pay rent at my new place and the center at the same time so it comes out to 800 dollars a month. Basically it feels like they don't want us to make it out here. At least you got my one letter but it's a shame that you didn't get the other three. I guess I will just have to keep up with you on this blog until I get my own place and then you can write me directly there. Anyway, when I get my new address I will let you know and you can write me there, then we will be able to correspond more privately. Be good, keep your head up and stay safe. luv ya.

As far as the future goals, which ones are the most immediate to you when you think about it? Are there any resources that you know of at the moment that would allow you to start getting info on any of them NOW? If you had to list them in categories of 1st Thing(s) To Start On ASAP and then 2nd thing(s) to work on/make happen, etc....how would it go? As in looking at them from importance? Ill respond more about this post in my next letter so that this response wont be too long. Haha. Seriously, cos theres alot to say about the list you wrote that I can advise on in at least some way that will be helpful! And I am glad to be helpful at something! (smile) Ill also see what else I can send your way/figure out for you in addition to what Ive already thought up from my own past or advice from others who have been there more than once themselves in my family! To be honest, their biggest obstacle is usually the place to live as our fam is not that large and we are so scattered throughout the state and other states nearby. Public transporation may be used until you figure out a better way for that one. (I have ideas on that too- and will elaborate in a letter) College grants and high scores on the SAT or ACT entry exam(s) can pay for college for you, and I learned alot during my time going about how to afford the other essentials. Ive got you covered on advice about that for SURE. Phone- got you covered, will explain in 2nd letter or soon. Clothing- got several options on that as well, and since you have some time to work with here you can make all of this happen just in time, looking at it from even a laid back take it easy perspective which is good news, huh? So dont stress! You will be surprised what you can make happen in the next few years, and proud of yourself for caring enough TO DO IT AHEAD OF TIME TOO! Im proud of you for that more than ever, you have no idea. Youve no idea how important that is, that you WANT to care NOW. Some of these things can even be STARTED ON now, and the others can at least be looked into and decisions start being made, etc. I think youll have to decide first of all WHERE you think youll end up living when you get out, such as in Wisconsin or not. The state matters when it comes to the info I find for you. Plus, as long as you DONT return to where the crazy times went down you can avoid being around the wrong crowd. Trust me, youll be much too busy and happy with your new life to think of that. You will see. I promise. And I dont make many promises lightheartedly to friends either!! (smile) Keep hangin in there, I truly believe the outlook for the future equals very good for you! No joke and not just being kind/nice either. Its true. Ive heard way too many people say IF ONLY ID WORRIED/THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A YEAR AGO INSTEAD OF A MONTH BEFOREHAND ETC ETC ETC way too much so I know you are gonna get by just fine! Ill advise with all that I possibly can and dont be afraid to ask for HELP!! -CC

I get where you are coming from when you say that each time you StOP worrying about the future, you fear messing it up and dont want to chance that so you keep it on the front line. You fear being too over-confident because when we are over-confident we can overlook many things coming our way like a freight train full speed that we mistake for a light at the end of yet another tunnel we pass through in life. Your concerns are sound, and show responsibility ahead of time which is a good sign because I rarely see it in people. I see last minute/cant do it/give up and say screw it more often actually. And I have never seen anyone contemplate ahead of time so realize its a good thing to look ahead, as long as you dont over-dwell on it until you are fearing the future itself. I plan on sending you some information about getting things back together once you are out, I know it may ease your mind to know that it can be done and has been done by many. The few I mention above with the give up attitudes did not have the spirit that you do. Trust me. They also just went with the flow not caring where it took them, then wanted to complain when it carried them to a negative place. Also, I hope that even though I am the same way (here, have my advice- Im not using it haha) that you will learn that there is nothing BAD about asking for help. Its not an issue of pride completely, only an issue of pride within ourselves. You are in a tough situation and your concern for never repeating these circumstances speaks volumes about your character, as Ive mentioned along with many other aspects of how you think. Id much rather swallow my pride and ask for and accept help than I would drop my head and endure another mistake on down the road, all because I chose to blame pride rather than seek positive answers/assistance but instead chose to go the route of illegal ways to take the issue into my own hands, by myself. If that makes sense. Ive been there, along with many people I know or have known in the past, and if many of them had ever just stopped to let me know that they were struggling or felt that their "good times" were going to soon end due to their actions (and the mistake of ever becoming too greedy once they got life going mainly) maybe they never would have had to do what they did to get by, or end up where they ended up (down)- because theyd have had my support from one friend to another, regardless of the fact that we no longer lived on the same dark end of the street anymore, and theyd have had my support wholeheartedly without judgment and entirely 110 percent through and through. Until they found a better way. Keep your head up, better times are ahead, because you have came this far looking ahead instead of looking down! -C.C.