Dear Jack, I'm so sorry I haven't sent anything in so long! I thought I did, but turns out I didn't. I'm so sorry. I'm okay right now. I'm getting ready for theatre season this summer. I auditioned for two plays three days ago. I'll find out this week what roles I'll have, so wish me luck! My mom just got a job. She's going to be teaching choir to kids over the summer, and she's a big music lover, so I'm really happy for her. I've been kind of flirting with this one guy off and on, and I don't know. I'll see him more this summer. I hope it goes well. How have you been lately? Have any big changes happened in your life recently? I haven't written poetry in a while. I've been really focused on writing stories and scripts lately, instead. I should write more poetry again, though. I love those poems you sent me! 'The Inside' is my favorite. Feel free to send me more, even if they're religious. I love art of all kind, and I think all religious art is beautiful. To answer your questions: 1) I believe in reincarnation and past lives. I think that after we die, our soul gets transferred to another creature's. 2) How do I see life? That's hard to say exactly. I guess I see it as a huge variety of opportunities. I never know what's coming next! 3) My mother has influenced my life so much. I love her a lot, and she means so much to me. 4) I hope not. I'd like to think that the world is actually going to get a lot better after this phase of hostility and controversy passes, but I'm not sure. 5) I think, we live in a world of abundance. It's not always easy to gain access to the things we need, but it is possible. 6) I've briefly mentioned to my mom and sister the concept of this website, and that I do write to somebody on here. They don't know about you specifically, though. I don't really talk to my mom or sister about most of my online friends, regardless of how I met them or who they are.
Questions for you! As always, if any of these are too personal, you don't have to answer them. 1) Have you told anybody in your life about me? 2) Do you consider yourself more of an optimist or a pessimist? (You seem like an optimist to me, but I'm curious as to what you think.) 3) What are/were your parents like? 4) Do you have any phobias? 5) What are some of your favorite words? 6) What were you like as a child?
That's all for now. Have a great day, and take care of yourself. You're an amazing, wonderful person. Be strong, keep going, don't stop smiling. -Grace
Michael, I finally found your blog again. Jon Saunders keep telling me that he wrote you, you wrote back but he could not get your reply. He is supposed to call me to find out how to get in touch with you. Just letting you know that he is still thinking about you and wants to keep in touch. Love you much
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.
I enjoyed reading your post! You seem like a really unique person who is very wise, intelligent, strong, and determined to get to the other side of the bars. I'm so sorry for how they treat you there, and I can't even begin to imagine what constant isolation and subjugation would be like. Your persistence in life is very inspiring.
Even though I can't relate to your exact situation, I can definitely relate to the depression part. For years I dedicated my entire life to school, so much so that I became severely depressed and crumbled under the pressure to perform and be perfect. On paper I got straight As and did all these academic clubs, but in reality I was miserable and could no longer put myself through the obsessive studying that got me those grades. I was in a really dark place for a while and almost committed suicide a few times, but through therapy and taking off school for a few months, I'm starting to feel better. Anyway, I know the dark places your depression can take you so if you need coping skills or just someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
I would also be happy to talk to you about what you studied in college (philosophy and cognitive psychology I believe?). I would love to learn more about both of those subjects so we could talk about it and I could update you with any recent discoveries or send you cool articles I find online. If you'd like to I'd be happy to do that.
Also after going through months of pretty intense therapy, I know plenty of ways to deal with anger and anxiety in safe and effective ways that you might find useful. Here are some things that you can do to get out of your head and distract yourself from your thoughts.
1. Sometimes I pick a category (ex: animals, food, people, countries, etc.) and try to name something in that category that goes with each letter of the alphabet. For example if I choose animals I can go "A - anteater, B - buffalo, C - caterpillar, etc.".
2. I also do this thing that focuses on the five senses. I name five things I can see, four I can feel, three I can hear, two I can smell, and one I can taste. The last two can be kind of hard to think of sometimes but I still think it's really useful when I need a distraction.
3. When I'm angry and have a lot of pent up energy that I need to physically get out, I resist the urge to punch or break something and instead run up and down stairs, do push ups, or some other physical activity to tire myself out. Sometimes I need to do this first before doing step 1 or 2 so I can calm down faster.
Anyway sorry to write so much, and I'm very glad I read your entry. You are incredibly articulate and write beautifully, and I think you'd be an amazing poet. Take life one day at a time and have faith that one day you'll get out of there. Until then try to find purpose and meaning in your life, because I promise you it's worth living.
Thank you for writing about current happenings at Stanley and sharing your insight on topics like the economic inequality in prison. I'm printing out some of your blogs to give to my Assemblyman when I meet with him on Monday to share my observations and John's recommendations about potential prison reform. He's talking the talk--we'll see if he walks the walk on making a difference.
John said he met you at the recent mindfulness class that he attended. Because there are no programs for him, he's choosing to attend classes and groups that might keep him positive and offer personal growth.
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.
I really enjoyed reading your letter! I'm so glad you have an opportunity to go to a place with fewer restrictions, that'll be a great milestone to hit. I also admire you for your strong faith and spirit, you inspire me to keep my head up and stay positive through my own struggles.
Stay safe and stay strong. Sam
P.S. Keep us posted about the knitting too, I'd really like to see what you make with the new yarn!
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.
It was really eye-opening to read a first person perspective about how prisons are run. The image that society often portrays to us is that inmates are horrible people that have committed heinous crimes, and the people running the prison are doing some public service by keeping these people off the streets. Of course this isn't at all true, especially based on what you wrote about. Plenty of people in prison are wonderful and friendly but they've made mistakes in the past, have good justification for what they did, or have been wrongfully convicted. Plus, if anyone is "horrible" it's the people in charge of prisons and the justice system. Before reading your post I had the impression that prisons weren't run very well and didn't keep the inmates safe. After reading your perspective, though, this absolutely affirms my belief that prisons are run by immoral people who treat fellow human beings like dogs and seek to make them suffer unjustly. This type of person is the last one who should be working in the justice system! I'm so sorry that such selfish and cruel people are trying to manipulate you and other inmates for their own benefit. The number one thing that upsets me is when people have no compassion and don't care about others, and I really hate seeing people, like you, suffer because of that. I promise to spread the word about this cause and this blog so we can learn more about people in prison and fight for better prison conditions on your behalf.
RSS
I'm so sorry I haven't sent anything in so long! I thought I did, but turns out I didn't. I'm so sorry.
I'm okay right now. I'm getting ready for theatre season this summer. I auditioned for two plays three days ago. I'll find out this week what roles I'll have, so wish me luck!
My mom just got a job. She's going to be teaching choir to kids over the summer, and she's a big music lover, so I'm really happy for her.
I've been kind of flirting with this one guy off and on, and I don't know. I'll see him more this summer. I hope it goes well.
How have you been lately? Have any big changes happened in your life recently?
I haven't written poetry in a while. I've been really focused on writing stories and scripts lately, instead. I should write more poetry again, though.
I love those poems you sent me! 'The Inside' is my favorite. Feel free to send me more, even if they're religious. I love art of all kind, and I think all religious art is beautiful.
To answer your questions:
1) I believe in reincarnation and past lives. I think that after we die, our soul gets transferred to another creature's.
2) How do I see life? That's hard to say exactly. I guess I see it as a huge variety of opportunities. I never know what's coming next!
3) My mother has influenced my life so much. I love her a lot, and she means so much to me.
4) I hope not. I'd like to think that the world is actually going to get a lot better after this phase of hostility and controversy passes, but I'm not sure.
5) I think, we live in a world of abundance. It's not always easy to gain access to the things we need, but it is possible.
6) I've briefly mentioned to my mom and sister the concept of this website, and that I do write to somebody on here. They don't know about you specifically, though. I don't really talk to my mom or sister about most of my online friends, regardless of how I met them or who they are.
Questions for you! As always, if any of these are too personal, you don't have to answer them.
1) Have you told anybody in your life about me?
2) Do you consider yourself more of an optimist or a pessimist? (You seem like an optimist to me, but I'm curious as to what you think.)
3) What are/were your parents like?
4) Do you have any phobias?
5) What are some of your favorite words?
6) What were you like as a child?
That's all for now. Have a great day, and take care of yourself. You're an amazing, wonderful person. Be strong, keep going, don't stop smiling.
-Grace
Mom
I enjoyed reading your post! You seem like a really unique person who is very wise, intelligent, strong, and determined to get to the other side of the bars. I'm so sorry for how they treat you there, and I can't even begin to imagine what constant isolation and subjugation would be like. Your persistence in life is very inspiring.
Even though I can't relate to your exact situation, I can definitely relate to the depression part. For years I dedicated my entire life to school, so much so that I became severely depressed and crumbled under the pressure to perform and be perfect. On paper I got straight As and did all these academic clubs, but in reality I was miserable and could no longer put myself through the obsessive studying that got me those grades. I was in a really dark place for a while and almost committed suicide a few times, but through therapy and taking off school for a few months, I'm starting to feel better. Anyway, I know the dark places your depression can take you so if you need coping skills or just someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
I would also be happy to talk to you about what you studied in college (philosophy and cognitive psychology I believe?). I would love to learn more about both of those subjects so we could talk about it and I could update you with any recent discoveries or send you cool articles I find online. If you'd like to I'd be happy to do that.
Also after going through months of pretty intense therapy, I know plenty of ways to deal with anger and anxiety in safe and effective ways that you might find useful. Here are some things that you can do to get out of your head and distract yourself from your thoughts.
1. Sometimes I pick a category (ex: animals, food, people, countries, etc.) and try to name something in that category that goes with each letter of the alphabet. For example if I choose animals I can go "A - anteater, B - buffalo, C - caterpillar, etc.".
2. I also do this thing that focuses on the five senses. I name five things I can see, four I can feel, three I can hear, two I can smell, and one I can taste. The last two can be kind of hard to think of sometimes but I still think it's really useful when I need a distraction.
3. When I'm angry and have a lot of pent up energy that I need to physically get out, I resist the urge to punch or break something and instead run up and down stairs, do push ups, or some other physical activity to tire myself out. Sometimes I need to do this first before doing step 1 or 2 so I can calm down faster.
Anyway sorry to write so much, and I'm very glad I read your entry. You are incredibly articulate and write beautifully, and I think you'd be an amazing poet. Take life one day at a time and have faith that one day you'll get out of there. Until then try to find purpose and meaning in your life, because I promise you it's worth living.
Stay safe and stay strong.
Sam
Thank you for writing about current happenings at Stanley and sharing your insight on topics like the economic inequality in prison. I'm printing out some of your blogs to give to my Assemblyman when I meet with him on Monday to share my observations and John's recommendations about potential prison reform. He's talking the talk--we'll see if he walks the walk on making a difference.
John said he met you at the recent mindfulness class that he attended. Because there are no programs for him, he's choosing to attend classes and groups that might keep him positive and offer personal growth.
Stay strong.
Evy Nerbonne
I really enjoyed reading your letter! I'm so glad you have an opportunity to go to a place with fewer restrictions, that'll be a great milestone to hit. I also admire you for your strong faith and spirit, you inspire me to keep my head up and stay positive through my own struggles.
Stay safe and stay strong.
Sam
P.S. Keep us posted about the knitting too, I'd really like to see what you make with the new yarn!
It was really eye-opening to read a first person perspective about how prisons are run. The image that society often portrays to us is that inmates are horrible people that have committed heinous crimes, and the people running the prison are doing some public service by keeping these people off the streets. Of course this isn't at all true, especially based on what you wrote about. Plenty of people in prison are wonderful and friendly but they've made mistakes in the past, have good justification for what they did, or have been wrongfully convicted.
Plus, if anyone is "horrible" it's the people in charge of prisons and the justice system. Before reading your post I had the impression that prisons weren't run very well and didn't keep the inmates safe. After reading your perspective, though, this absolutely affirms my belief that prisons are run by immoral people who treat fellow human beings like dogs and seek to make them suffer unjustly. This type of person is the last one who should be working in the justice system! I'm so sorry that such selfish and cruel people are trying to manipulate you and other inmates for their own benefit. The number one thing that upsets me is when people have no compassion and don't care about others, and I really hate seeing people, like you, suffer because of that.
I promise to spread the word about this cause and this blog so we can learn more about people in prison and fight for better prison conditions on your behalf.
Stay safe and stay strong.
Sam