Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post. I'm sorry you are witnessing this abuse of mentally ill inmates around you. Keep writing and sharing these stories, there are people reading and learning from this!
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post. I think you are right that the system is antiquated. Removing the punishment from the public sphere has allowed for the cycle to perpetuate, largely unbeknownst to huge sectors of the population. Many of your writings are very interesting and I look forward to reading more!
I'm so glad that you finally got to see your mum - and it must have been wonderful for her, too!! I'm a mum myself, and would go insane if I didn't got to see my son. And hopefully it won't be long until next time you'll meet. Just push on your brother, that's the least he can do for his mother, in my opinion. I'm really glad you got to see her. :-)
I tried to check out We Are the Fallen for you - and as far as I can find, they're still active. But the only studio album I found, was recorded in 2010. One album only, 'Tear the World Down'. I don't know if there are more albums than just the one.
Oh and about shaving - shaved is good! Keep it shaved. :-)
That's so true - laughter is the best medicine! I know that for a fact as I've been longterm ill, meaning for years, and I've more than once said that humor has helped me through this time. Silly humor and self irony is just great.
You wrote your favorite is #6, although I laughed out loud about 14 and 15, too, lol - too funny! Not to mention #13, THAT my MUM did all the time!! haha :-D You also had a post about nicknames, hehe, really amusing. Makes me wonder what nickname I would get, lol.. I'm not living in USA, and we don't use nicknames very often where I live. Perhaps a good thing. :-) And yes, Between the Bars is absolutely a great opportunity for you all, and I hope it will last. I've just learned that some prisoners are barred from having Facebook and some other social media accounts, a few states have come to this conclusion, but blogs are still 'allowed'. I actually believe Florida is one of them.
Well, keep on writing - funny or serious issues, everything is welcome. Besides, it's a great way to occupy the mind. :-)
Also, because you appreciate poetry, I am posting this for you. It isn't my own work. Instead, it's by spoken word poet, Sabrina Benaim. I don't know if it will jump off the page the way it literally vibrates when she performs it:
"Explaining my depression to my mother: A conversation
Mom, my depression is a shapeshifter One day it's as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear The next it's the bear On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone I call the bad days "the Dark Days" Mom says try lighting candles But when I see a candle I see the flicker of a flame Sparks of a memory younger than noon I am standing beside her open casket It is the moment that I learn everyone I will ever come to know will someday die Besides Mom, I'm not afraid of the dark, perhaps that's part of the problem Mom says I thought the problem was that you can't get out of bed I can't, anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house inside of my head Mom says where did anxiety come from Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town that depression felt obligated to invite to the party Mom, I am the party, only I'm a party I don't want to be at Mom says why don't you try going to actual parties, see your friends Sure I make plans, I make plans I don't want to go to I make plans because I know I should want to go I know sometimes I would have wanted to go It's just not that fun having fun when you don't want to have fun Mom You see Mom each night Insomnia sweeps me up in his arms dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company Mom says try counting sheep But my mind can only count reasons to stay awake So I go for walks, but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells reminding me that I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness that I cannot Baptize myself in Mom says happy is a decision But my happy is as hollow as a pin pricked egg My happy is a high fever that will break Mom says I am so good at making something out of nothing and then flat out asks me if I am afraid of dying No Mom I am afraid of living Mom I am lonely I think I learned that when Dad left how to turn the anger into lonely the lonely into busy So when I say I've been super busy lately I mean I've been falling asleep on the couch watching SportsCenter To avoid confronting the empty side of my bed But my depression always drags me back to my bed Until my bones are forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city My mouth a bone yard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves The hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with the echoes of a heartbeat But I am just a careless tourist here
I will never truly know where I have been Mom still doesn't understand Mom, can't you see That neither can I"
You've written very eloquently about your current situation and just about existential topics in general. Do you think that you will be able to repair your family relationships? Do you think your kids will be lastingly damaged by all that's happened?
Also, what's going on with your vampire novel? Is it at a stage where you think you'd be able to share a chapter or two?
Also, a compliment. Your typing is excellent. I think I would struggle if I were not able to hit the Backspace, but there are very few errors in your letter and that must have taken quite a bit of skill and focus. I guess, as you said, you're a "bit" of a perfectionist.
RSS
I'm so glad that you finally got to see your mum - and it must have been wonderful for her, too!! I'm a mum myself, and would go insane if I didn't got to see my son.
And hopefully it won't be long until next time you'll meet. Just push on your brother, that's the least he can do for his mother, in my opinion. I'm really glad you got to see her. :-)
I tried to check out We Are the Fallen for you - and as far as I can find, they're still active. But the only studio album I found, was recorded in 2010. One album only, 'Tear the World Down'. I don't know if there are more albums than just the one.
Oh and about shaving - shaved is good! Keep it shaved. :-)
That's so true - laughter is the best medicine! I know that for a fact as I've been longterm ill, meaning for years, and I've more than once said that humor has helped me through this time. Silly humor and self irony is just great.
You wrote your favorite is #6, although I laughed out loud about 14 and 15, too, lol - too funny!
Not to mention #13, THAT my MUM did all the time!! haha :-D
You also had a post about nicknames, hehe, really amusing. Makes me wonder what nickname I would get, lol.. I'm not living in USA, and we don't use nicknames very often where I live. Perhaps a good thing. :-)
And yes, Between the Bars is absolutely a great opportunity for you all, and I hope it will last.
I've just learned that some prisoners are barred from having Facebook and some other social media accounts, a few states have come to this conclusion, but blogs are still 'allowed'. I actually believe Florida is one of them.
Well, keep on writing - funny or serious issues, everything is welcome. Besides, it's a great way to occupy the mind. :-)
"Explaining my depression to my mother: A conversation
Mom, my depression is a shapeshifter
One day it's as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear
The next it's the bear
On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone
I call the bad days "the Dark Days"
Mom says try lighting candles
But when I see a candle I see the flicker of a flame
Sparks of a memory younger than noon
I am standing beside her open casket
It is the moment that I learn everyone I will ever come to know will someday die
Besides Mom, I'm not afraid of the dark, perhaps that's part of the problem
Mom says I thought the problem was that you can't get out of bed
I can't, anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house inside of my head
Mom says where did anxiety come from
Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town that depression felt obligated to invite to the party
Mom, I am the party, only I'm a party I don't want to be at
Mom says why don't you try going to actual parties, see your friends
Sure I make plans, I make plans I don't want to go to
I make plans because I know I should want to go I know sometimes I would have wanted to go
It's just not that fun having fun when you don't want to have fun Mom
You see Mom each night Insomnia sweeps me up in his arms dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light
Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company
Mom says try counting sheep
But my mind can only count reasons to stay awake
So I go for walks, but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists
They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells reminding me that I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness that I cannot
Baptize myself in
Mom says happy is a decision
But my happy is as hollow as a pin pricked egg
My happy is a high fever that will break
Mom says I am so good at making something out of nothing and then flat out asks me if I am afraid of dying
No Mom I am afraid of living
Mom I am lonely
I think I learned that when Dad left how to turn the anger into lonely the lonely into busy
So when I say I've been super busy lately I mean I've been falling asleep on the couch watching SportsCenter
To avoid confronting the empty side of my bed
But my depression always drags me back to my bed
Until my bones are forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city
My mouth a bone yard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves
The hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with the echoes of a heartbeat
But I am just a careless tourist here
I will never truly know where I have been
Mom still doesn't understand
Mom, can't you see
That neither can I"
Also, what's going on with your vampire novel? Is it at a stage where you think you'd be able to share a chapter or two?
Also, a compliment. Your typing is excellent. I think I would struggle if I were not able to hit the Backspace, but there are very few errors in your letter and that must have taken quite a bit of skill and focus. I guess, as you said, you're a "bit" of a perfectionist.
Hafsa
thanks, Julia