Just read your post on Life Experience, regarding the answer:
"a disparity in life experience creates an imbalance in power which makes the relationship unequal."
While I wouldn't call it the only factor in relationships, I agree that this imbalance is a distinct possibility. I didn't understand it very well until I watched the movie Lolita (1997). I have not read the book, so can't comment on that.
The story has more twists than just age difference, but I'm only referring to the age issue.
In that movie, the age difference was greater, with a middle aged man with a teenaged girl. The girl was swept off her feet, and as I recall, was quite into the relationship at first. But it was only after the passage of time, that the girl realized the opportunities that she had lost. Emotions clouded judgment, on both sides, and disappointment in the end.
You mention that a virgin might want to connect with a more experienced partner. That may be. But I would point out that the hunger (even desperation) of a virgin to find love could be the very thing that would make them more vulnerable to smooth, polished advances from a sexually experienced lover.
Older partners have the advantage of time, which can include accumulated material wealth. Wealth and gifts can be somewhat dazzling to a younger, poorer partner.
When you start dealing with ages in the higher end of the spectrum, you start dealing with the ability to have children. While the younger partner may not be ready for children at the start of the relationship, after a few years it may be too late, and this loss may be felt keenly.
The young can become old, but the old cannot become young. This in itself is an imbalance in the older partner's favour, which should be balanced by a greater concern for the wellbeing of youth. It is easy to try to recapture one's youth by trying to steal it from the young.
While I don't think age is an insurmountable obstacle, I do think it is a risk, and it is a risk regardless of how old you are, and regardless of what the laws of various countries may say. In my view, the responsibility for managing this risk, and the responsibility for protecting the younger partner, surely rests more heavily with the older one.
With the right people, and the right love, and the right patience and understanding, these relationships can work out beautifully. But the risk of damaging the younger partner is real.
- Chris
P.S. Of course, my comments and a lot of arguments in this vein assume that it is desired to find a long term relationship, where investing so much time is a risk in itself. One night stands don't carry the same risk, in that sense, but carry their own risks.
Hey you this is Angel Shockley. How are you? I hope you got my snail mail letter by now letting you know that you are NOT giving me too much to do for you. I am here to help you, so do NOT worry you are not putting too much on my plate. As for the pro death penalty sites I have to join all their sites in order to post your information and I have to admit I do NOT want to get updates and messages from those kinds of people, so I was wondering would you mind if I printed out your letter to pro death penalty advocates and send it to them via snail mail? I could leave all your contact information and mine as well and let you know the second they contact me. Let me know what you think of this. I hope you are doing well and got my letter. God bless you my friend and keep your chin up, I am getting your case out there. Lots of likes on facebook already and I put 2 posts of Twitter about you. I can print them out and send them to you. I am here for you so please let me know if there is anything else you would like me to do for you. Your Friend Always; Angel Shockley
Hey Dad…that's pretty cool to say. It's me, Allen. I don't really know what to say, which is weird for me since I'm a man of many words, considering. I just want to know how your doing, which is stupid to say, but yeah…I'm just kinda overwhelmed…I hope you can get back to me Dad, I love you.
Hi Bill, Sorry I haven't written in a while. On the good side, this is really happening isn't it?! To others who would visit Bill: I can say from the viewpoint of a pretty descent person, who has never done drugs, who has never committed a crime, who has been a descent law abiding citizen and who is trying to help everyone around him; that William Goehler is one of the best people I know. I'm not saying he is totally "normal" but that may be what is best about him. No one I've ever met has been more willing to change and been able to do it just by studying. I understand about what he has done and the crazy things that he has been up to in the past. I think I've helped to get him pulled out of the depths of what he was in. But we are all in the same boat to one degree or another. There are causes and explanations and perhaps justifications for why we all do things; but in the end, man IS basically good. So, when he does things which are "bad" and we don't understand why then it's common to shy away from that. But, doing that doesn't resolve anything for anyone. If we can take responsibility for each other and help each other to get better and to overcome our insanities then shouldn't we? It in fact isn't correct to lock someone away with no rehabilitative efforts and to have the sunshine taken out of his life for the rest of his life without having a purpose or hope. True, enough, he is responsible for his actions; but so are we and what about our responsibility toward him? That is what is missing to a marked degree in society. I don't mean to be lecturing but it's just what I was thinking. I am Bill's friend now, so because of that I am writing on his blog to try to be in communication with him and others who would visit him. But, you are already on your way to seeing Bill; and it's definitely an adventure, but I think one you will want to repeat. I hope these words are of some use. All your words and hopes for Bill are awesome to be able to see. Best, Joe R.
Hey dad, it's Hannah. Sorry it took so long to find you. I just got back in contact with Destiny and she told me about you're website and now I'm here. Being completely honest I don't know a lot about you but I've heard some stories from my adopted mom that I'm hoping aren't as true as she makes them seem. No matter what you did, I still love you. How are you doing in there? I can only imagine what it's like. AJ and I are doing better if you were wondering. We've been through hell and back but then again so has everyone else so I can't really complain. Destiny sent me some of the cards you gave us when we were little and to be honest, I cried. You are a great drawer, I'm kinda jealous, I love drawing but it comes out like crap most of the time. One day I'm hope to bring aj up with me and we will visit all of you finally. It's been forever. I'll tell AJ he can write to yo use expect something from him sometime soon. I'll keep in touch. Love you.
I have talked to Rhonda today several time's. You know we have our differences. All I care about is you'r well being. All I want is for you to be okay. I will do what I can to make things as easy as I can for you...no matter what. If you need me for any reason just let me know. What Rhonda say's, has no reflection on me. That's between you and you'r sister.
Johnny,thanks for your note of comfort online and thanks for the one you wrote to our mother about u never liked my husband.to bad,he thought the world of you. And so did sissy as well as I,but its good that we see johnny's other side the hateful on that has no heart,the one who has no family us when they do associate with him he try s to force me to his ways or no ways and calls them b words,that's why they stop writing to you or at least why I did, good luck with your flona and that is spelt the way I wanted to.and I like her as much as you did mike. Mike is one of the best men that ever walked this earth.and still is so stick that and flona were ever. Good life with your games evil one your sister that don't take it and never will rhonda
Hey sweetheart so glad to see you were able to blog on this website again. I really appreciated this blog and what they are doing for the inmates and the families it is so good to read this blog. Know we are all praying for this CIU program you will be so good at being able to share God's word with others. I am so proud of you. I love you Mom
Hi, Brother I am so glad that you can still write a blog. I have enjoyed reading them in the past I will tell my new church Family about this A lot of people in our NC church wrote on here.Well I love U and my thoughts and prayers are with you always!!! With Love Mary
RSS
The drawing didn't have a title, as far as I could see, but I quite liked it. It almost looked like Katy Perry.
Thanks for sharing!
- Chris
Just read your post on Life Experience, regarding the answer:
"a disparity in life experience creates an imbalance in power which makes the relationship unequal."
While I wouldn't call it the only factor in relationships, I agree that this imbalance is a distinct possibility. I didn't understand it very well until I watched the movie Lolita (1997). I have not read the book, so can't comment on that.
The story has more twists than just age difference, but I'm only referring to the age issue.
In that movie, the age difference was greater, with a middle aged man with a teenaged girl. The girl was swept off her feet, and as I recall, was quite into the relationship at first. But it was only after the passage of time, that the girl realized the opportunities that she had lost. Emotions clouded judgment, on both sides, and disappointment in the end.
You mention that a virgin might want to connect with a more experienced partner. That may be. But I would point out that the hunger (even desperation) of a virgin to find love could be the very thing that would make them more vulnerable to smooth, polished advances from a sexually experienced lover.
Older partners have the advantage of time, which can include accumulated material wealth. Wealth and gifts can be somewhat dazzling to a younger, poorer partner.
When you start dealing with ages in the higher end of the spectrum, you start dealing with the ability to have children. While the younger partner may not be ready for children at the start of the relationship, after a few years it may be too late, and this loss may be felt keenly.
The young can become old, but the old cannot become young. This in itself is an imbalance in the older partner's favour, which should be balanced by a greater concern for the wellbeing of youth. It is easy to try to recapture one's youth by trying to steal it from the young.
While I don't think age is an insurmountable obstacle, I do think it is a risk, and it is a risk regardless of how old you are, and regardless of what the laws of various countries may say. In my view, the responsibility for managing this risk, and the responsibility for protecting the younger partner, surely rests more heavily with the older one.
With the right people, and the right love, and the right patience and understanding, these relationships can work out beautifully. But the risk of damaging the younger partner is real.
- Chris
P.S. Of course, my comments and a lot of arguments in this vein assume that it is desired to find a long term relationship, where investing so much time is a risk in itself. One night stands don't carry the same risk, in that sense, but carry their own risks.
Hey you this is Angel Shockley. How are you? I hope you got my snail mail letter by now letting you know that you are NOT giving me too much to do for you. I am here to help you, so do NOT worry you are not putting too much on my plate. As for the pro death penalty sites I have to join all their sites in order to post your information and I have to admit I do NOT want to get updates and messages from those kinds of people, so I was wondering would you mind if I printed out your letter to pro death penalty advocates and send it to them via snail mail? I could leave all your contact information and mine as well and let you know the second they contact me. Let me know what you think of this. I hope you are doing well and got my letter. God bless you my friend and keep your chin up, I am getting your case out there. Lots of likes on facebook already and I put 2 posts of Twitter about you. I can print them out and send them to you. I am here for you so please let me know if there is anything else you would like me to do for you.
Your Friend Always;
Angel Shockley
Best, Joe R.
One day I'm hope to bring aj up with me and we will visit all of you finally. It's been forever. I'll tell AJ he can write to yo use expect something from him sometime soon. I'll keep in touch. Love you.
I will do what I can to make things as easy as I can for you...no matter what. If you need me for any reason just let me know. What Rhonda say's, has no reflection on me. That's between you and you'r sister.
I love you
Mom
I am so glad that you can still write a blog.
I have enjoyed reading them in the past I will tell my new church Family about this A lot of people in our NC church wrote on here.Well I love U and my thoughts and prayers are with you always!!! With Love Mary