First as Joe said we appreciate the opportunity to be able to read the blogs and to be able to reply to them it makes us feel closer to our love ones, thank you for making this publication possible. Wow, Joe you never cease to amaze me with your writing sure wish I could put into words my thoughts the way you do. I think you are pretty smart not sure who you got it from. I am so proud of you Joe, I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for you. He is going to use you in a mighty way. I love you and looking forward to your next writing. love mom
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had hoped that you would do well.
If you want an opinion, though, I have to say that they should have given you more support (did they give you any?).
After all those years in solitary, it was bound to be hard.
I wonder how other men are doing (as they move back into the 'mainline.' I hope you connect with the attorney(s) (are you still in touch with them) and let them know what happened. Perhaps they will have some advice (for the prison) about transition.
I had thought to write that things will be very different - but you moved so quickly - and I wasn't sure that my advice could be helpful, anyway. I was also sure you'd pay a lot of attention to the environment (wherever you landed), and I knew that you are probably very good at figuring out new prisons & how to get along.
But I knew from the men that I've worked with that prison is a very different place than it was years ago.
Of course, they are not in CA - so I wasn't sure how similar their experience might be to yours -
but, still -
From what they told me, the 'politics' of how people get along is very different and my older guys didn't like it much at all.
It was always strange to me, because prison is much safer (not safe, just safer) than it was. From my vantage, I'm glad it is different.
But they hated it. They expected to get a lot of respect from the younger men, and that didn't (doesn't) happen.
I did look online and it seems to me that you have not moved? I imagine that you will not, then? (It has been awhile). I hope that you get another chance.
I wonder what you think you (and others like you) need in terms of support? I read somewhere that in England, they have developed small PODS that are almost like communities (and the men are very responsible for their POD). This turns out to be very effective (the men like it, there are no/few fights - and it's much easier for the guards, too).
I am not suggesting that this will happen there (or in any other prison in the US) - at least in the near future.
But it seems to me that they could put something in place that will help.
I'll write a bit more later, I did want to get this down in case they mail it out this weekend.
Just read your post on Life Experience, regarding the answer:
"a disparity in life experience creates an imbalance in power which makes the relationship unequal."
While I wouldn't call it the only factor in relationships, I agree that this imbalance is a distinct possibility. I didn't understand it very well until I watched the movie Lolita (1997). I have not read the book, so can't comment on that.
The story has more twists than just age difference, but I'm only referring to the age issue.
In that movie, the age difference was greater, with a middle aged man with a teenaged girl. The girl was swept off her feet, and as I recall, was quite into the relationship at first. But it was only after the passage of time, that the girl realized the opportunities that she had lost. Emotions clouded judgment, on both sides, and disappointment in the end.
You mention that a virgin might want to connect with a more experienced partner. That may be. But I would point out that the hunger (even desperation) of a virgin to find love could be the very thing that would make them more vulnerable to smooth, polished advances from a sexually experienced lover.
Older partners have the advantage of time, which can include accumulated material wealth. Wealth and gifts can be somewhat dazzling to a younger, poorer partner.
When you start dealing with ages in the higher end of the spectrum, you start dealing with the ability to have children. While the younger partner may not be ready for children at the start of the relationship, after a few years it may be too late, and this loss may be felt keenly.
The young can become old, but the old cannot become young. This in itself is an imbalance in the older partner's favour, which should be balanced by a greater concern for the wellbeing of youth. It is easy to try to recapture one's youth by trying to steal it from the young.
While I don't think age is an insurmountable obstacle, I do think it is a risk, and it is a risk regardless of how old you are, and regardless of what the laws of various countries may say. In my view, the responsibility for managing this risk, and the responsibility for protecting the younger partner, surely rests more heavily with the older one.
With the right people, and the right love, and the right patience and understanding, these relationships can work out beautifully. But the risk of damaging the younger partner is real.
- Chris
P.S. Of course, my comments and a lot of arguments in this vein assume that it is desired to find a long term relationship, where investing so much time is a risk in itself. One night stands don't carry the same risk, in that sense, but carry their own risks.
Hey you this is Angel Shockley. How are you? I hope you got my snail mail letter by now letting you know that you are NOT giving me too much to do for you. I am here to help you, so do NOT worry you are not putting too much on my plate. As for the pro death penalty sites I have to join all their sites in order to post your information and I have to admit I do NOT want to get updates and messages from those kinds of people, so I was wondering would you mind if I printed out your letter to pro death penalty advocates and send it to them via snail mail? I could leave all your contact information and mine as well and let you know the second they contact me. Let me know what you think of this. I hope you are doing well and got my letter. God bless you my friend and keep your chin up, I am getting your case out there. Lots of likes on facebook already and I put 2 posts of Twitter about you. I can print them out and send them to you. I am here for you so please let me know if there is anything else you would like me to do for you. Your Friend Always; Angel Shockley
Hey Dad…that's pretty cool to say. It's me, Allen. I don't really know what to say, which is weird for me since I'm a man of many words, considering. I just want to know how your doing, which is stupid to say, but yeah…I'm just kinda overwhelmed…I hope you can get back to me Dad, I love you.
RSS
Wow, Joe you never cease to amaze me with your writing sure wish I could put into words my thoughts the way you do. I think you are pretty smart not sure who you got it from. I am so proud of you Joe, I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for you. He is going to use you in a mighty way. I love you and looking forward to your next writing.
love
mom
If you want an opinion, though, I have to say that they should have given you more support (did they give you any?).
After all those years in solitary, it was bound to be hard.
I wonder how other men are doing (as they move back into the 'mainline.' I hope you connect with the attorney(s) (are you still in touch with them) and let them know what happened. Perhaps they will have some advice (for the prison) about transition.
I had thought to write that things will be very different - but you moved so quickly - and I wasn't sure that my advice could be helpful, anyway. I was also sure you'd pay a lot of attention to the environment (wherever you landed), and I knew that you are probably very good at figuring out new prisons & how to get along.
But I knew from the men that I've worked with that prison is a very different place than it was years ago.
Of course, they are not in CA - so I wasn't sure how similar their experience might be to yours -
but, still -
From what they told me, the 'politics' of how people get along is very different and my older guys didn't like it much at all.
It was always strange to me, because prison is much safer (not safe, just safer) than it was. From my vantage, I'm glad it is different.
But they hated it. They expected to get a lot of respect from the younger men, and that didn't (doesn't) happen.
I did look online and it seems to me that you have not moved? I imagine that you will not, then? (It has been awhile). I hope that you get another chance.
I wonder what you think you (and others like you) need in terms of support? I read somewhere that in England, they have developed small PODS that are almost like communities (and the men are very responsible for their POD). This turns out to be very effective (the men like it, there are no/few fights - and it's much easier for the guards, too).
I am not suggesting that this will happen there (or in any other prison in the US) - at least in the near future.
But it seems to me that they could put something in place that will help.
I'll write a bit more later, I did want to get this down in case they mail it out this weekend.
Be safe,
j
The drawing didn't have a title, as far as I could see, but I quite liked it. It almost looked like Katy Perry.
Thanks for sharing!
- Chris
Just read your post on Life Experience, regarding the answer:
"a disparity in life experience creates an imbalance in power which makes the relationship unequal."
While I wouldn't call it the only factor in relationships, I agree that this imbalance is a distinct possibility. I didn't understand it very well until I watched the movie Lolita (1997). I have not read the book, so can't comment on that.
The story has more twists than just age difference, but I'm only referring to the age issue.
In that movie, the age difference was greater, with a middle aged man with a teenaged girl. The girl was swept off her feet, and as I recall, was quite into the relationship at first. But it was only after the passage of time, that the girl realized the opportunities that she had lost. Emotions clouded judgment, on both sides, and disappointment in the end.
You mention that a virgin might want to connect with a more experienced partner. That may be. But I would point out that the hunger (even desperation) of a virgin to find love could be the very thing that would make them more vulnerable to smooth, polished advances from a sexually experienced lover.
Older partners have the advantage of time, which can include accumulated material wealth. Wealth and gifts can be somewhat dazzling to a younger, poorer partner.
When you start dealing with ages in the higher end of the spectrum, you start dealing with the ability to have children. While the younger partner may not be ready for children at the start of the relationship, after a few years it may be too late, and this loss may be felt keenly.
The young can become old, but the old cannot become young. This in itself is an imbalance in the older partner's favour, which should be balanced by a greater concern for the wellbeing of youth. It is easy to try to recapture one's youth by trying to steal it from the young.
While I don't think age is an insurmountable obstacle, I do think it is a risk, and it is a risk regardless of how old you are, and regardless of what the laws of various countries may say. In my view, the responsibility for managing this risk, and the responsibility for protecting the younger partner, surely rests more heavily with the older one.
With the right people, and the right love, and the right patience and understanding, these relationships can work out beautifully. But the risk of damaging the younger partner is real.
- Chris
P.S. Of course, my comments and a lot of arguments in this vein assume that it is desired to find a long term relationship, where investing so much time is a risk in itself. One night stands don't carry the same risk, in that sense, but carry their own risks.
Hey you this is Angel Shockley. How are you? I hope you got my snail mail letter by now letting you know that you are NOT giving me too much to do for you. I am here to help you, so do NOT worry you are not putting too much on my plate. As for the pro death penalty sites I have to join all their sites in order to post your information and I have to admit I do NOT want to get updates and messages from those kinds of people, so I was wondering would you mind if I printed out your letter to pro death penalty advocates and send it to them via snail mail? I could leave all your contact information and mine as well and let you know the second they contact me. Let me know what you think of this. I hope you are doing well and got my letter. God bless you my friend and keep your chin up, I am getting your case out there. Lots of likes on facebook already and I put 2 posts of Twitter about you. I can print them out and send them to you. I am here for you so please let me know if there is anything else you would like me to do for you.
Your Friend Always;
Angel Shockley