Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post. I hope your grief is subsiding, there will always be a place in your heart for her but it will get easier with time.
Besides, it's ok to be angry and hurt. The truth is - there is much to be angry and hurt about. The problem is getting stuck in it - you know - really stuck. And you don't know that this will happen.
She has people around her to listen to her anger and hurt - AND her joy. Don't forget that. She's a teenager. I'm certain that everyday she ALSO laughs, jokes with friends, maybe even she has interests in 'special friendships' ;-).
She is her own person - growing into a woman. She will have to navigate this journey herself - this is true whether you were outside to help her - or not.
Stay focused on what you can do - because if you do everything you can - that really is enough. Does that make sense? If you give someone EVERYTHING that you can - it is ENOUGH. It is complete. You are offering all that you have - it may not feel like enough - and it might not be all you want to give - but in life when we offer ALL that we have - it really is enough.
Just be there and wait. Offer what you can and be satisfied that you have offered all of your love.
I'm so sorry I haven't written to in a while.. Things have been crazy here... I have to say I miss those days back in computer class because life was so much more worry free... well here are a few more things that have happened since I've wrote..... I am now engaged to an amazing man who has 3 lil boys, he is also a tattoo artist so I am now addicted lol, I have 8 now and getting more... You're always in my prayers and thoughts Jesse...
Your words and the story of Josh are very inspiring. I write this on Ash Wednesday, and hope that you have the change in Lent to explore your faith and be inspired further.
I enjoyed your last two poems a lot - they have really striking imagery. I'm sorry you're feeling so abandoned currently. I hope that in the future your family realise that you are aware of what you have done wrong and make an attempt to reconcile with you.
15 Years In Environment Of Constant Fear Somehow Fails To Rehabilitate Prisoner NEWS IN BRIEF • Prison • Lifestyle • ISSUE 50•09 • Mar 4, 2014
WOODBOURNE, NY—Reportedly left dumbfounded by the news that recent parolee Terry Raney had been reincarcerated on charges of assault and battery, officials at Woodbourne Correctional Facility struggled Tuesday to make sense of how the prisoner had not been rehabilitated by 15 years of constant threats, physical abuse, and periodic isolation. “It just doesn’t seem possible that an inmate could live for a decade and a half in a completely dehumanizing environment in which violent felons were constantly on the verge of attacking or even killing him and not emerge an emotionally stable, productive member of society,” said chief warden Albert Gunderson, who noted that, as hard as it was to believe, Raney’s recidivism proved that his criminal impulses had not in fact been corrected by the sense of grave distrust he felt toward every other person in the facility, including both fellow inmates and prison authorities, every day since 1999. “We surrounded him with a combustible mix of rival gangs and made sure that he was consumed by a round-the-clock sense of terror that the slightest misstep on his part could result in a sharpened piece of scrap metal being shoved into his neck, and yet he still leaves this facility with the same criminal thoughts and violent mindset as before? I’m truly at a loss for how this could have happened.” Gunderson then noted his additional confusion at how the man’s criminal record and the social stigma of his prison sentence had somehow failed to land him a steady job immediately upon his release.
RSS
Besides, it's ok to be angry and hurt. The truth is - there is much to be angry and hurt about. The problem is getting stuck in it - you know - really stuck. And you don't know that this will happen.
She has people around her to listen to her anger and hurt - AND her joy. Don't forget that. She's a teenager. I'm certain that everyday she ALSO laughs, jokes with friends, maybe even she has interests in 'special friendships' ;-).
She is her own person - growing into a woman. She will have to navigate this journey herself - this is true whether you were outside to help her - or not.
Stay focused on what you can do - because if you do everything you can - that really is enough. Does that make sense? If you give someone EVERYTHING that you can - it is ENOUGH. It is complete. You are offering all that you have - it may not feel like enough - and it might not be all you want to give - but in life when we offer ALL that we have - it really is enough.
Just be there and wait. Offer what you can and be satisfied that you have offered all of your love.
I'm so sorry I haven't written to in a while.. Things have been crazy here... I have to say I miss those days back in computer class because life was so much more worry free... well here are a few more things that have happened since I've wrote..... I am now engaged to an amazing man who has 3 lil boys, he is also a tattoo artist so I am now addicted lol, I have 8 now and getting more... You're always in my prayers and thoughts Jesse...
Love Always,
Jess
Your words and the story of Josh are very inspiring. I write this on Ash Wednesday, and hope that you have the change in Lent to explore your faith and be inspired further.
Best wishes,
Elizabeth
I enjoyed your last two poems a lot - they have really striking imagery. I'm sorry you're feeling so abandoned currently. I hope that in the future your family realise that you are aware of what you have done wrong and make an attempt to reconcile with you.
Elizabeth
I just read an article from the Onion and thought of you and your posts. Hopefully the satire will help spark some minds!
http://www.theonion.com/articles/15-years-in-environment-of-constant-fear-somehow-f,35434/
15 Years In Environment Of Constant Fear Somehow Fails To Rehabilitate Prisoner
NEWS IN BRIEF • Prison • Lifestyle • ISSUE 50•09 • Mar 4, 2014
WOODBOURNE, NY—Reportedly left dumbfounded by the news that recent parolee Terry Raney had been reincarcerated on charges of assault and battery, officials at Woodbourne Correctional Facility struggled Tuesday to make sense of how the prisoner had not been rehabilitated by 15 years of constant threats, physical abuse, and periodic isolation. “It just doesn’t seem possible that an inmate could live for a decade and a half in a completely dehumanizing environment in which violent felons were constantly on the verge of attacking or even killing him and not emerge an emotionally stable, productive member of society,” said chief warden Albert Gunderson, who noted that, as hard as it was to believe, Raney’s recidivism proved that his criminal impulses had not in fact been corrected by the sense of grave distrust he felt toward every other person in the facility, including both fellow inmates and prison authorities, every day since 1999. “We surrounded him with a combustible mix of rival gangs and made sure that he was consumed by a round-the-clock sense of terror that the slightest misstep on his part could result in a sharpened piece of scrap metal being shoved into his neck, and yet he still leaves this facility with the same criminal thoughts and violent mindset as before? I’m truly at a loss for how this could have happened.” Gunderson then noted his additional confusion at how the man’s criminal record and the social stigma of his prison sentence had somehow failed to land him a steady job immediately upon his release.
Nice anthology! Love the story!! You really know how to get your point across!
Lynette