Daniel Gwynn Blog Update
Date: 4/1/13
Subject: To Think & Not Over Think

"March Madness" is a perfect depiction of the month I've had. I've been getting smashed on the Chess board by players I know I can beat. I've beaten them before in tournaments, and even took 1st place on more than a few occasions (not to sound too full of myself). I seem to be losing my concentration, letting elementary moves get by me and missing advantageous moves. I keep vowing to pay more attention, but I'm still zoning out & losing ground. I've started questioning my own judgment. Chess is an analytical game full of decisive moves & counter moves akin to life itself. One bad move could cost you a key piece, have you on the run, or cost you the game; albeit, in life, the game is a little more real & severe in consequences -- you could lose a friend, a limb, your freedom or your life.

I can accept losing to a better player, but losing because I'm not focused or paying attention is unacceptable. The lack of focus & bad decisions in Chess has me questioning the lack of focus & decisions I've been making in my life. "Should of"; "Could of"; and "Would of's" has caused me a many sleepless nights and driven me mad. "Am I doing the right thing?"; "Am I living right?" are questions I find tormenting my soul. I've taken a lot of flack over being "kind-hearted" & "turning the other cheek" to those who've wronged me. The principles I live by are simple, like -- "Treat people like I'd want to be treated." Sometimes it feels like an empty platitude as I continue to suffer the misdeeds of many fools.

Recently, I received word that another prisoner was trashing me behind my back without cause. He had some beef with the guards and lumped me up in his slanderous rant. I've treated this man with respect & kindness, and this is how he treats me. My mind went racing on how to handle this, because offenses like that can't stand up in here if you want to survive. Surprisingly, a few prisoners stood up for me and checked dude. Here, I was thinking that I would have to chuck my principles and step to dude myself, damaging my 17 years of good standing. I was moved at how much I was respected by the others & protected. I've learned that it doesn't pay to over-think things & lose focus.

Daniel Gwynn