My 6th Step

I changed my mind. I used to think Step 2 was the hardest step because of the whole "insanity" thing. Then it was the 4th step because, well, that's where my precious self-image was shattered by the truth. Then it was the 5th step when I allowed another person in on all of my secrets. Clearly, though, the 6th step is the most difficult of the 12-Steps process.

The 6th step is when we become "entirely" ready to have our Higher Power remove "all" our character defects. At first glance, it sounds great: "God, make me perfect. Amen." But a closer look reveals that it may not be so easy.

I do not doubt my Higher Power's ability to wipe any slate clean & to make a saint of any person. Rather, I struggle with the willingness to let go of some of my defects.

What if I don't want to be patient all the time? What if I don't want to hold my tongue? What if I want to reserve the option to treat another as poorly as he has treated me? Were it not for those two little words "entirely" & "all", I would have no problem withe the 6th step.

I believe that every single thing that happens, big & small, happens for a reason. I believe that the language - the detail - in every step is valuable & essential. I believe that if Step 6 allowed me to be anything less than ENTIRELY ready to be rid of ALL my defects of character, I would certainly hold firmly to some part of my past self. And I would fail.

My 6th step has me considering the pros & cons of holding onto my most beloved defects. How does this trait benefit me? How does it cause harm? How does it affect me emotionally, socially, & spiritually?

I know well that I will discover no true benefit of resistance to Step 6. But I am stubborn enough to need to see its reasons laid out before me. And I am wise enough to do the work.

Daniel Womack
May 2013
Soledad, Cal.