Sheriff "Money-Shot" Cumming's House on the Cape

In the middle of the Cape Cod sand stands a monument to absurdity - Sheriff "Money-Shot" Cumming's House of Corrections. Who would guess that there's a Pelican Bay, ADX-SuperMax-style prison nestled on Cape Cod to house its heroin-addicted riff-raff. No penny is left unspent to make the workers in this grand jobs program as comfortable as possible. Top-of-the-line everything for these what-do-I-do next lifeguards now walking a beat about as tough as security at a pumpkin-patch.

Walk in to Sheriff "Money-Shot" Cummings' Shangri-La of gross and excessive taxpayer spending, and the abuse of the taxpayer reflects off of the wide-screen/flat screen plasma television - there before you are half-a-dozen shiny-uniformed, polished-booted and badged future-pensioners gazing at Big Papi's at-bat on the New England Sports Network. The cool, crisp, refrigerator-temperature air-conditioned air keeps the correctional clowns iced against the sweat of a real working man. The calm on their smirking faces makes clear that, despite a security apparatus worthy of the most notorious prisons in the United States, there's nothing for them to fear.

Oh, and are there stripes and bars, and Sergeants and Lieutenants and Captains everywhere - so many feeders up the food chain, so much "evolution" in so many pay-checks that Darwin himself would never stop throwing up. If anyone's interested in doing a case study on ineptitude and overspending, and the lack of "rehabilitation" at a prison facility and they want to enjoy the beauty of Cape Cod, do a little investigative reporting on the Barnstable County Correctional Facility. What you will reveal is a crime. James M. Cummings should step into a cell.