LETTER TO LADY K #6

MOOD: DESPONDANT, LONELY AND SADDENED
SONG: MY WISH
SINGER: RASCAL FLATTS
SONG: MINE WOULD BE YOU
SINGER: BLAKE SHELTON
THOUGHT: STILL MISSING YOU ALOT!
SONG: IT'S YOURS IF YOU WANT IT
SINGER: RASCAL FLATTS
SONG: BLANK SPACE
SINGER: TAYLOR SWIFT

MAY 28TH, 2017

Dearest Lady K,

Hello to you, I pray that when you read this, that all is well with you and your loved ones, I also pray that you are well and happy where you are. If you want the truth Lady K, I'm despondent, lonely and still saddened by your departure.

You and I agreed to be blunt and honest with each other, and now I can be completely honest with you Lady K. Ever since we met, it's been an up and down ride for m because you swept into my world and just turned it upside down and inside out. Most days I don't know whether I'm coming or going K, because as a man, I've never felt this way towards another person. To be truthful, the last time I felt like I do, was when I was 13. When I lost Lydia, I lost all interest in falling in love again, especially if it would be like my moms and step-dads marriage or others I know about.

27 years later, you just stroll right into my life and blow me away when all I wanted to do was be left alone and live my life the way I always have... On my terms. I was doing good until you destroyed everything I had built up over the years because I didn't want to feel again. I have my Aunt Kay, and that was enough K, until you came along.

It's been 10 days since you left and it still hurts. I can't help but think I screwed up enough that you left because of me. I know logically its probably not true, but emotionally I just can't stop thinking this. I'm not mad K, but just hurt so much. I also know I shouldn't have let myself get attached to you, but a heart doesn't always listen to reason Lady K. So here I am dealing with all of this on top of everything else, too.

I'm not going to give up K, because I can't betray those who have faith in me. If I quit in the middle of the race, then how do I know how it ends. Hell, I might surprise myself with how things turn out. Maybe you'll reach out to me one day and tell me you want to be friends... But if I'm not here, how would I know? Life has many turns and twists, that if it's meant to be, then it will be. If not, then I still have the memories.

I am grateful for the short time I got to know you Lady K, because you brought me back to life and reminded me that life isn't over until it's over and that I should try to enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what comes my way. I guess I should start with you leaving. But I can't find my joy in you leaving yet, even though I know it was probably best for you. And of course I only want what's best for you K, and one day the pain will be gone. Just not yet.