Aug. 26, 2017

In Memory of My Mom, Beverly Jean Brown

From Prison Dad by Robert Pezzeca (author's profile)


In Memory Of My Mom, Beverly Jean Brown 12/26/1956 - 8/20/2017

Riposa In Pace Momma

August 20, 2017: 11:14 am:

My nightmare has finally come true. My mom, one of the most wonderful and loving
people in this world has died. I feel numb, my tears won't stop, I lost my mom and
it doesn't feel real, it can't be true, she's my mom. I can't lose my mom, what do
I do without parents? Why am I trying to change, be good, be a better person if God
doesn't even care? Who is there left for me to be good for, to say they are proud
of me, who is there for me to try to make smile, to love with no limits or boundaries.
My parents and now mom is gone. My dad is dying of cancer too. I will lose him soon.
All the things I have done in my life make me believe the people I love the most will
suffer my choices. First it was Justine, she lost our baby, then just a few years
later she had her life ended by a man. Then my grandmom died of cancer, now my mom,
next my dad. Why am I in programs to make me a better person if there is nothing good
to come of it? A part of this was doing it in order to make my mom proud of me because
I have been such a disappointment my whole life to her. But now, why bother? To anyone
reading, please say a prayer for my moms soul. I believe in heaven & hell, I believe
in an afterlife. My mom deserves a good one. I might not but my parents do. I have
no words left in me for today. Though my mom cannot read this, I do pray that she
was proud of the good that I have done these past 10 years. I love my mom and I
wouldn't trade anything for the memories I have of her. My mom was shot in the early
1980's, she shot herself in the chest after a fight with my dad. My mom was very sad
& depressed. She used a .357 magnum with hollow point bullets and shot herself in
the chest. My dad saved her that night. I always believed that she was meant to live
for a purpose, to do something great, now I doubt God even cares. How do I deal
with this? What do I do without my mom? My dad is dying from stomach and brain cancer.
I'm the one who deserves the cancer, not them. I'm the one who took a life, not them.
This is not fair. My mom was a hard worker her entire life. She was an amazing mechanic
for about 25 years. She loved working on cars, fixing them. She loved being under
a car. She was in so much pain, but as selfish as it is, I want my mom back. She was
strong, she beat Hepatitis C, she got that while getting a blood transfusion when
she shot herself, back then they didn't test for it. She beat Myelodysplatic Syndrome,
a form of leukemia, then just when we thought she was clear, she got AML, acute myeloid
leukemia. My mom was a great woman. She raised 5 kids, my brother Eric died from
muscular dystrophy 20 years ago, but my other siblings are just selfish. Who was there
for her in the end, none of us. I owe my mom so much and now I can never repay her.
There is no one else left to love. My momma's gone and I just don't know how to finish
the day today. My mom bough a monkey when she was a teenager. I loved the story she
tell me. She bought it for $150. Had to put diapers on it because every time
it got scared, it would climb on someones back and pee. My mom was also a nurse's
aide, she was an LPN, she did nursing home care, private home care and she took care
of a lot of people who died from cancer. She said it was very scary. But now that's
my mom. I lost my mom and I feel numb, why can't this be a sick joke? Mom never hurt
anyone, she didn't deserve this. My aunt Cindy is the only family I have left besides
my dad, I called her and she said my dad has weeks left. She said that my mom fell
into a coma and died in her sleep. Moms not in anymore pain but I want my mom back.
That's me being selfish. I love my mom, I would give my life to give hers back to her.
But this is not how it works. Thank you for reading this, please say a prayer for my mom.

I called my aunt Cindy and she told me that my mom went into a coma and died in her sleep.
That doesn't comfort me at all. I still lost my mom & I know this isn't about me but it
hurts. My brother, the one who refused to bring my mom to visit me, was with her. I have
to ask the chaplains office for a call to my mom tomorrow, I mean my Dad. It doesn't feel
real to me that she is gone. I want to go to sleep tonight and not wake up. It just hurts
too much. I gotta go through this one more time. When my dad is gone, there is no one else
for me to love, no one to love me, i'll just be free of emotional attachments. My kid hates
me and my family is gone. Just Cindy is left. But she has her own problems, her own life.
My heart is broken, I miss my mom, I wanted nothing but to see her buy my family wouldn't
bring her. When dad did, the prison wouldn't let mom in. So I only got to see dad last month
for 15 - 20 minutes. That's all I got for now. I don't wanna even talk about it anymore today.
Thank you for letting me vent my pain. Doubt it will help today, and every day I remember my
mom. I love you momma. You were an amazing mother and I thank you for being such a wonderful,
loving mom who never turned her back on me no matter how much I messed up in life. Ti Amo Momma.
God Bless, Ciao.


Replies (27) Replies feed

BostonRocks Posted 3 years, 7 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.

Cavak Posted 3 years, 7 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
I'm so sorry about your momma, and I'm sorry that your dad isn't getting better. At least you have these good memories with her. It wasn't all bad, right? It doesn't help with the loss, I know. But I hope you will always treasure them to keep her alive in you. It sounds like from this vent that she lived quite a life. There's probably even more there that you can keep close to your heart.

Could you ask your family members to send some of her possessions to you? Or a picture maybe? Hope they can do that much.

Don't give up on being a better person. Keep faith in yourself too, no matter hard it may seem now. You may never know when something will come along to lift your spirits up.

bluvsu2 Posted 3 years, 7 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
I know this is really late, but I just refound you. I have been so busy and dealing with things that I have not been online to read.

I am so sorry about your Momma. I still have mine but lost my Dad to cancer in 2006. It is hard going on without our parents. Just remember you will see signs of your mom. "Winks from Heaven" they will be things out of no where. Your mom is watching down on you every day.

Please don't look back at past behaviors. Do not give up. Go forward. In time the pain will change, it never leaves. You just learn to live a new norm. The memories will be painful for awhile, but someday you will think of something about your Mom and smile. Sending you prayers and hugs.

Rita Posted 3 years, 7 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
dearest friend Robert,

I am late too. When I heard your mom died, I wrote something to Melanie to tell you; hopefully you got those words by her. We had a mass for a mom who died of cancer and in that mass I prayed for your mom as well.2 marvelous moms!I know you loved to talk with her as much as you could.Now she stays at your side your life long. You can still talk to her, Robert.She sees your pain and listens to what you have to tell her.:)
She guides you now. Your mom is in a better place and watches upon you. She sees her son and smiles on you. May this comfort you. Robert, you finally found your way and just go forward on that same path.If you are a good person, you'll attract good people along the way. :)
Your momma is just at the other side, you know... Just keep all the happy moments in your heart and in certain things you'll see her face. Hear her voice... :) Those stay for ever in your mind.
One of these days you get some money like before. I told Melanie. I hope your dad is taken care off. Cherish him as best as you can. You can't do more. Try always your best and see what comes towards you, my friend.
A warm hug from your friend Rita x .

Jidjesgirl Posted 3 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 6 months ago   Favorite

I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved Mother. Your Mom will live forever in your heart each and every day. You keep doing the good you are doing and keep your head up. You are in my daily prayers. Making your Mom proud of the man you are today is the best gift you can give her. She is with you always and sees the man you are. Knowing this should give you peace, I hope it does. Take good care of yourself.

Liz Geyer

Robert Pezzeca Posted 3 years, 5 months ago.   Favorite
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Robert Pezzeca Posted 3 years, 5 months ago.   Favorite
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Rita Posted 3 years, 5 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 5 months ago   Favorite
hello dear friend Robert,I certainly will read the news about how your banquet went!Hope you reached a lot of people who can make a difference in life for lifers... And I am sure it has :) I am so very glad you might to see your daughter,Robert!She came to you in the right time, don't you think!?Blood of your blood, that is so very wonderful.-smile- I had a super cool visit at my daughter's. They live in a light(clear) and nice house there in San Diego, CA.Their yard ends at a small canyon.And I sat on their self made swing, hung up at the branch of an American oak.I was kind of busy there. Made twice a day a walk with their black 9 month old labrador, Kona. He is tall!But an extremely sweet dog he is.He goes now to a training course for dogs.But he already has a lot of discipline.He and me enjoyed so much our mutual walks.;)The children came home from school with mom at about 4pm. Sometimes I cleaned, did my yoga every day, wrote letters to pen pals, read in my book, went to a store, went to the children's soccer teams, did a walk with Leslie and the dog at the beach, bought 4 turtles in a semi precious stone(onyx) and fossilized black marble.

Rita Posted 3 years, 5 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 5 months ago   Favorite
Small ones though, with a paper saying the origin from the mine in Ecuador.All stones and marble were different in color.They are for my neighbors who took care of my apartment; watering my plants, helping me out on certain things, taking my mail, etc And one for myself. Turtles represent in China longevity, did you know?I've a few in my house.I visited China.My first contact with Asia! Adric, my grandson of 8 cried when I said farewell.I could see it was hard on him. :(I told him his name came from the Adriatic Sea.(ITALY!)I showed it his world globe.He is VERY fascinated with Science and Geography!I showed him 4 fascinating places in the world!I've seen them.The Nazca Lines in Peru, The EASTER Island belonging to Chile,the Galapagos Islands close to Ecuador and I mailed him on my smartphone from the airport to look for the Machu Pichu in Peru too.We did so many activities together, you know.Claire is a wild smart and very talented girl,6 she is.Very creative and reads so very well!She is a good dancer, a very good athletic, sings so very well...Her dad says she is a handful!:) The bad news is, that someone (or more?) broke in in my apartment in BE! It happened on Oct.18th Well, it seems like they didn't steaL really a lot.All my drawers stood open. They weren't going in my safe.Even 100 euros were still there. My tv and my laptop are still in my room,... I got photos from my neighbor Simonne and the police didn't find fingerprints.I am at ease now.They close the blinds every day, going towards my terrace where they broke in.I saw George already 3 times; I've still 7 days to visit him.I made up a visit on Saturday because of 1day lock down.We've a 4 hr visit a day; 5 in a row per month.He is my love... we enjoy every minute we see each other, Robert.I realize how much I miss him in my life...What a wonderful time we have here!!He told me that we can even talk with each other on video, paying an amount of money per month.That would be so very great! Take care Robert, stay strong and live every single day in the honor of your so loved mom. She watches you. :))) Big warm hug from Rita!x

Robert Pezzeca Posted 3 years, 4 months ago.   Favorite
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Rita Posted 3 years, 4 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 4 months ago   Favorite
hello Robert,

So good to hear from you!Your letters are always warm;even when regrets and sadness sound through it.We loose things(your beloved mom...:( )in life and we gain love in it too (your cherished daughter :)). Such is life.
I am pleased to hear the banquet went fine and you got some valuable contacts made! Oh yes,I got your picture through Melanie.She is a very nice person.How did you know her,Robert?You know whet? You look very Italian.:)When I was about 19 we did a school trip(end of our high school)to Rome,Pisa,Firenze,Ravenna and other cities more.One night we slept in a convent.We had nuns.The Italian boys knew that.And one evening they gave us a marvelous serenade!We were listening to it in our night gowns.:))Suddenly the nuns came out of their dorm and chased those boys away!I still recall that enjoyable moment!And later,I was 22 or 23 and I left with two friends to Italy.Mom had warned me:only come back not being pregnant!Well,I knew Gennaro from a youth hostel where we were sleeping and he spoke English.Later each of us had a boyfriend.We did auto stop and then we had to promise dancing with them.We kept an eye on each other.So,I never went to the beach with him late in the evening. We ate ice creams kissed and that w

Rita Posted 3 years, 4 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 4 months ago   Favorite
was that.One day Geneviève joined us;she was a French girl.Only much later Greet(say Grate),my boarding school friend at 16 and best friend,told me before she died(from eutanasia...)that Geneviève had been pregnant and she had let remove it.I had never realized.We kept writing for a long time after my voyage,Gennaro and me.A vacation love.I've known a few boys, but I sensed they weren't the man I would marry one day.Till I met Karel.I met him on a youth camp in France.We were married for 33yrs and two lovely daughters were born out of our union.But we drifted apart... till I met my twin soul,George.Karel brought me to America.And if I hadn't lived there,I never would have written to George one day.All was meant to be.The red thread through my life...
Now this!George wrote a very nice letter to my mom;just to show and explain our bond,our loving relation.She had said before:"he is only a man on paper!" :(I came home from America the day after her birthday.The next week I would see her in Brussels and would dine out somewhere.Joke(Yoke) came as well.We had a fine dinner together and Joke left and mom and me would go to her apartment.We had a siesta and I had already given her her present. But during the cup of coffee,I told her I had another surprise.A letter from George!"I don't want to read it",she said."But he tries to tell you about our feelings from one to another,mom"!"I don't like having anything to do with it",she said.Whatever I tried to tell her,she had no ears for it!"You can love all you want,but that's none of my business!",... I had tears in my eyes,Robert."You make life even harder for me",she said and called me a naive soul..."Then we've not to see each other anymore...". I didn't answer that question.:(( A few days later I made a new call, saying "love is never wrong,mom"."Is your sermon now finished" she asked?Well, I told my English friend Win(she is married to an inmate,Les(lie),-she has my age and Les is a lot younger- who wrote those nice words to me:'Why can't people be happy for us when we have someone in our lives that make us happy,is that such a bad thing?'
Words that comforted me after the hard words mom told me..., Robert.:(((
Late HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Robert!!!!Wish you all the best! Thanks for being my friend! :))) xxx

Rita Posted 3 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 3 months ago   Favorite
hello dear Robert,I just heard from Melanie that your money finally arrived.I guess it took some time because of these days.But it did. :)
I hope you had nice Christmas days.And for now I wish you a New Year full of inspiration, a lot of creativity, many joyful moments and surely good health,which is important too!And how are your days? Busy with training the dogs?I saw at my daughter in CA how nice a dog can be!I loved their dog labrador!Yesterday I saw on tv a prisoner in BE who liked to meet the family to peace his mind.Two sisters were mourning about their brother. One sister went to see him -the other would not- and they had a meeting. She forgave him, because he felt sorry for what he did.She saw his sorrow. And that was beneficial for the healing process of both of them. I hope one day it is granted to you,Robert.You also long to meet the family of the victim... Time will tell.I have great news.I went one day dancing, although I was invited for a tea with my neighbors,but I had planned it already.In that place,people above the age of 55 are invited and have a good time.Some dance in couple and many women(alone)dance on their own.So,I love to dance on my own,I am used to do it in biodanza and I had fun. A woman came to me while dancing and asked my age. Her friend(a man) thought I was 45n,haha. I told her the age is just a number and it's all about the radiation of that person.Then I went to sit with them.Jeanine,63 and me could relate real well from the very start!She also lives in Antwerp.She told me strange things :o.That I will live a long time. That I was an 'old soul'(they had many lives here on earth)-two people told me that before; and at a much younger age,I didn't quite understand it.Now I do.Old souls hadn't an easy life and their missions were not easy.I told her that I had a drama in my life... and next I told her George's story.She asked me if he had a good lawyer?He has Jessica and she definitely is a very good lawyer!Suddenly she said: Rita, George will be free in 2018! I didn't believe what I just heard!You have to trust me,she added.You have to do something: each day you send light to him and Jessica.You put both their names on a paper and send them light.Also you have to think, George IS already free.The universe accepts this as the TRUTH.I did tell his dad,he was very emotional! I doesn't believe anymore in the liberation of his son...I could more or less convince him. Now George heard it through his dad,I told him by a letter)& he has to do it too.My train- friend Renie does it as well,as does Jeanine.After 3 yrs George has Parole this coming summer, but juries take their vacations and his case will be for autumn.Till then I burn candles each evening and trust what Jeanine told me.:o It seemed to me as if I had a special date that day with Jeanine.We now are good friends!I also have an amazing story on another dance floor,where I went to with my friend Kathleen. In Breda,Holland.Robert,have a great and special year!xxx

Robert Pezzeca Posted 3 years, 3 months ago.   Favorite
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Rita Posted 3 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
hello Robert,my Christmas I celebrated with friends, as Elke and Bart were at the coast and Leslie and her family in SD, in America.One lives alone and we can always connect with friends of course.Mom and me celebrated the 2 birthdays of the kids :Lynn, now 4 and Lars now 2 yrs.It was amusing and they recited their wishes. Lynn learned by heart a little poem and she does as if she reads it. She did it so well!Elke filmed it.Now I can enjoy it watching it.:) Lars got a horse head on a rolling stick; he can run around with it and Lynn got 5 hand puppets from me.We played a muppet show together.We ate a pie and afterwards good food and tomato soup she made.Flags were hanging at the ceiling; decorated as their birthdays fall only a week apart.Well Robert, mom knows I'm going to America to visit George.Shortly we will get a new terrace, so I've to make it empty, because works can start right after my return. Lately I went to listen to a candidate from The Voice of Flanders, a TV show.He's a 19 yr old young man who sang in that contest.His dad registered him!He worked in summer as a job student at that library and now they had invited him there to have a concert with his guitar.He reached far in that contest!I enjoyed his performance. A lady behind me had seen how I moved with the music and she talked to me later on.I told her I used to play the piano, but stopped right after my friend Greet(read Grate) had done eutanasia... :( But that I still painted.You paint?And now I can do an exhibition in September!The program books were already printed, but in the next one I will be announced.I am very pleased with it!Today I went with my bike to a poetry workshop, given by a known poet, Maud.She lets us do 2 exercises.We had to tear out snippets from magazines with sentences.Then we had to make poems with the snippets.We had fun and it was very spontaneous too.We all had good results!Only two of us had done poetry: Kerstin and me.Robert, I got the lovely photo of you and the dog.Animals are so friendly! :))I had sent money to Melanie... wonder if she got it? Keep all the joyful moments with your mom in your heart and cherish them for ever, Robert!Keep faith and take every new day as your best day.A beautiful saying, just for you:'I know everywhere in the life- desert how to discover one or another beautiful oasis.'- Heinrich Heine. Robert, hope you can find harmony in your heart and know there are good friends to watch over you. One is Rita. A big cuddle from far! Everybody needs a few cuddles each day.

Rita Posted 3 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
Forgot this: I am so very happy for you you have again a good contact with your loved daughter!

Rita Posted 3 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
hello dear Robert,time runs fast and on February 12th they will send this very letter.Yes, your words about a mom sound so true and thanks for telling me them!Your mom doesn't suffer anymore and your daughter is back.Things to be thankful for.:)I was at a session for computer users today. We always learn new facets there.It's for free.Volunteers do give them to us.In those so called neighborhood houses they help people with their questions concerning to fill in documents, to write letters, to drink a coffee and while meet people, etc.I've two such houses in my neighborhood!I go with my bike. The weather became chilly lately!February is usually our coldest month.One could eat there three large pancakes with whipping cream for 1 euro.Tomorrow I'll present my coordinates to have an exhibition of some paintings in September.They will print it in the next edition!I participated to a workshop of another younger painter, Anneleen.It was given real well!Nowadays the art academies use oils on water base. Less messy then in our time!We had oil and terpentine to dip in our paint brushes.I guess people had an allergy to the smell.People had good results, although some never had painted before!I did paint something joyful,as that day my grandchild in America turned 7 years.I keep contact with Anneleen now.We learn from each other.George had had a hard time from October on, when I had visited him.He had a new man in his cell who wanted sex with him!When the man found out he'd like to change cells,he made life miserable for him!Outgoing letters disappeared and he wrote a letter claiming he assaulted him!Both had to be interviewed by Internal Affairs.Several employees spoke up on George's behalf.But he had to been put under investigation. He was put in solitary, & tossed into a cell with only a toothbrush & paste & a bar of soap, nothing else. Two days later he was given a sheet and a blanket.It was hot and he was overheated and found it hard to breath! And found himself gasping for air! He was in for six days!They moved him in with an old friend.Now George told me he did have frequent flashbacks in his dreams of that awful heat. & the feeling of suffocation from it! And he asked his lawyer and a good friend what to do?There are mental health people he could discuss it with, but he doesn't trust people after what he went through in Hill...It is time I come to visit him. He said it would be super they would look in the wretched conditions in Illinois gulags, which seem to be going downhill almost daily! At the rate they're going, they may soon have to buy bottled air- and that's but a slight hyperbole he writes!It made me sad. It is late here. Bye for now, take very well care of yourself and know that I care, Robert! :)) xxx

Robert Pezzeca Posted 3 years, 2 months ago.   Favorite
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Rita Posted 3 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
hello dear Robert,it is always good to hear your comments, and yes, you are grieving,it is still in your system,I do understand oh so very well.:( It will take time to be friends again with your brother,one day... Why was he acting like this?In such a difficult time and you felt so powerless.I am glad you found your way back to your daughter.How short is she then? I've seen a photo when she was still a kid.So beautiful!:)Can she call you?Yes,take any occasion to call your dad, Robert!Before he isn't there anymore.Tomorrow I go to a funeral.She is the second wife of my uncle Oktaaf (he's 95!),aunt Engeline,and she died at 83. She demented.Uncle Oktaaf's first wife died at 36 and they had 4 children. Then he married Engeline,a nurse who cared for his wife and they had another 4 children.Some of his children, come from Switserland and Italy.There will be a lot of family and people in the church,an Evangelian ceremony.My own dad died at 36 too and I was 3 and a half yrs old. Mom had my older brother,Paul(he lives now in Australia),then came me,then my brother Johan(he's a lung-specialist)and at 26 mom expected my youngest sister,Josée, now she calls herself Joke(=like Yoke).Papa died 2 months before she was born.:o Dad was a lot older then Oktaaf.They had a third brother who never married.Shortly after my dad died, mom got to know a neighbor,Renaat and she fled with us to Brussels.Because Oktaaf thought she knew too fast another man in her life!Then mom abandoned the parents of my dad,our great parents. :(( We never saw the family back...My new parents weren't married and we called just his name.I always missed my real dad.Mom forbid us to see my family. We listened when we were small.Later only I visited them incognito.And in that way i knew all my nieces and nephews.:)Paul and me,the 2 oldest children have known my dad,the youngest didn't.Papa died on the first birthday of Johan!And mom so very young;only 26 years,with 4 small children! :((
Uncle Oktaaf taught me to read at the age of 4 and a half!And at 5 I read books.-smile

Rita Posted 3 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
Here is another part. You read the bad news from George, didn't you!?Well, he was placed next to a friend of his.I hope he is okay?I had sent him an orange envelope with a chess magazine, photos of fashion, he likes that!, articles of interesting subjects and a small envelope in it with 33 photos related to me. ;)From different ages.He will like that, I am sure!But... till today I didn't receive anything from him... I am a little worried on his behalf?It was his Valentin's gift. His dad says: they sit on the mail. I hope coming from Bruges, some mail is in my mailbox! :o I can well imagine you adore those puppies!It sounds so nice!
Now I know I will have a solo exhibition at the district house in Antwerp where I live!!! This whole year is already taken and printed.Mine will be printed for the next year. For the whole month of March that is! :))
I went to dine out with a friend Marilou and her 3 artists friends. I now belong to this group too. On March 23 i fly to Illinois.To see my sweetie. :) Oh, I was reading books about shamanes.So very interesting!
Robert,always listen to what your soul inspires you into. Following your own intuition.Here is a nice saying for you: 'For all you have lost, you've won something' - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Kind regards from your friend, Rita! Big hug, Robert! xxx

Rita Posted 3 years, 1 month ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
hello Robert,

What is wrong with her city Cleveland? Is she studying right now? Where does she live actually? Did I tell you I met Jeanine at a T-dansant and she told me George will be free this year.(!) She told me more amazing things. We remain friends.She tells me to take this seriously. I should send light to his lawyer Jessica and George.Each day; what I do!But George doesn't believe in it. Too bad, he should do it too, Jeanine pretends. Therefore I will buy the book she tells me. And send it to him, so he'll understand the importance of it!Beye for now! I will write more later xxx

Robert Pezzeca Posted 3 years ago.   Favorite
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Rita Posted 3 years ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years ago   Favorite
hello dear friend Robert,

I am at the library right now, at Chester where I visit George each day in the week. It's just great!All went fine until now. I visit 4 hrs in a row. I've still four days to go.We are true soulmates, that we experience just every day! I walk half an hour to go to the prison; today it's real cold. It was warmer a few days ago. To go to the library, Ive to take a shortcut and I've to climb 250 steps and it is real steep. Good for the heart, haha
Every time it goes better and I've to stop less.;)It was my birthday on March 26 and Leslie sent a small package and it's something that really moved me! 23and me; a kit to look up your DNA, for one's ancestry. It was said in Argentina by an Indian nun, dressed all in orange, when I liked to register myself for yoga courses.She looked at me and told me I've certainly Mongolian roots! She said she saw it right away, since she lived there.I was so surprised!Now I'll know, as soon as i send in the tube with spit... It takes a few months to know the result!I've the blood group B and it were the Mongolian people who brought it to Asia.Also in the Amtrak train last year, a Mongolian family recognized those traits in my face. Quite interesting I would say! I know I've French blood through my dad. So very bad to hear the sad news from your dad, Robert... :( I told about you to George; he always is glad to hear stories about my friends.He now is in a ail where elderly inmates are.Young people can be real aggressive. My two people at the Hospitality House could only visit their husband and partner for two hours a day.Because in the east gallery there was a lock down> The boyfriend of one black woman is free tomorrow after 4 yrs of prison.A clairvoyant, Jeanine, in BE thinks? that George will be free this year!I believe her!She told me to send each day light to him and his lawyer. Robert, what happened with Melanie?You didn't tell me.I am willing to send you 20 dollars, but what do I do now?So, tell me, okay?Nice to hear you can talk with your funny daughter!:) I can imagine the love you get from those puppies, Robert! -smile
Keep up the good mood, and next time I'll write things that gives you inspiration.The library closes now. I've still to eat here, before it gets dark! And I've to descend all those steps.
Think of the good things you received at night.And be thankful for them!
A warm hug from Rita! x

Robert Pezzeca Posted 2 years, 10 months ago.   Favorite
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Rita Posted 2 years, 8 months ago. ✓ Mailed 2 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
hi Robert,I just read your letter to Heather as well;that's always informative for me as well,to know the conditions you are living in.The more we know the better,I would say.I truly hope that your arm is healing properly.I wrote a message to Jen.Well,I've the feeling we become friends.:)A lot happened lately.In July mom had a big feast and my daughter Leslie from CA was there with her family.And I noticed how their two children grew.Adric,9 and Claire,7.The latter even spoke a thank you word at the dinner for her grandmother,in Dutch!I saw photos of Adric making in wood a step and a birdcage.My daughters gave me in March,when I was visiting George a DNA kit.Because a Indian nun in Argentina told me I could have Mongolian roots?She had lived there!But I haven't.I've French/German ancesters,English/Irish ones,(a lot less),then Scandinavian,(even a lot less!)and finally(even more less),from Iberia:Spanish/Portuguese ancestors.I've the grandchild from my sister Joke(Yoke),Roxanne,who became Quinn,a transgender-they live in NY-who also did that same DNA test,and he too has more or less the same all European ancestors.He studies anthropology in a college in Wisconsin.I had in summer(truly very hot here!)a workshop of the chacras,our 7 energetic levels,in Orval in the southern part of BE where people speak French.As you know by now I speak Dutch and a few more it!During the weeks,I give on Wednesdays an hour Dutch to Nazim,as a volunteer.He's from Afghanistan,and is 25.He lives here for about 3yrs and had already Dutch lessons before,to integrate in my country.He's a very kind person.We get along very well.Two weeks before all seemed alright when we started the course.At the end of it, he told me he had problems.I asked if it was around finding a job here?He also had gotten something on his smartphone during the lesson.He then told me his brother of 16 died!What?!American planes had thrown a bomb in Afghanistan where his family lives(he is here alone)and 8 people died!His brother and his friends were in a house by then.I saw his brother(he looked like a 20yr old;they have barren conditions there!)alive and then in his casket!I was literally in shock!Tears came in my eyes.All I could do was comforting him by holding my hand on his shoulders.Like his mom would have done;she is only 50.He had described with joy all of his siblings and now... he wouln't come the next week.And I took then care for 5 days of Lynn,4 and a half at the coast,in their apartment in Koksijde.That was a very pleasant time with that little girl.The weather was just excellent.we delved a long tunnel from the sea to let water run in,we ate ice cream while we saw a tennis match in a stadium,we worked in the 3 new books, doing games,& learning numbers,also writing them,we went to the library for 10 books she chose(fairy tales),we danced the lambada in our living room,she listened to English and Dutch cd's,we played in the sand,looked at our prints,put shells.xRita

Rita Posted 2 years, 8 months ago. ✓ Mailed 2 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
hi again.Mom and her smaller brother Lars came on a festive day to visit us and together we went jumping on a blown circus(castle?)Lynn will now attend school in September to the second kindergarten class.Lars will go to a pre-toddler class;he's two and a half.Talking about my past exhibition;my niece Liana and Jozef bought a watercolor painting about the tango.The couple dances.I've a problem to solve.Since a few days I can't ride on my bike.The key broke off in the key hole of my bike- lock!I can't remove it.So,somebody has to cut the lock.I can't go to a store to do that.And on last Sunday I did a march of 17 kilometers and even more,with a group.In a nice region in Antwerp,where I live.A man Joe has a tool to cut that lock.Perhaps I can ask him.Also a bike store could call me for that issue.So,I'll see!The bike stands there already for days in front of our block.It could be even stolen there!2 bikes of mine were stolen in the past!Would you know,I looked up the site of stolen bikes, given by the police... and I found my bike!One can see photos of them.I was so glad!I noticed the tire was flat,and my two bike bags at the side disappeared.They now will call me and I've to prove it's mine.:)
I missed my bike so VERY much!:o They moved George to the south east of Illinois,to Sumner,close to Lawrence ville.Since then no word from him!I know through his dad he sent me two letters.They sit on it, his d

Rita Posted 2 years, 8 months ago. ✓ Mailed 2 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
... dad says!It's a shame!His dad told me that he likes it there better!The food is better,the guards have more respect for the inmates too.I heard the yard is smaller,and so,he runs more laps around.Each day he runs two hours!But at least I am not worried now.He has his parole somewhere in November.I would have gone,but to travel till there is a big challenge!John,the driver of his dad can't drive us; he had surgery.John looked up the possibilities to get there.I would have to take an Amtrak from Chicago, to the closest stop near Sumner,and that proves to be Effingham.Then a taxi from more than an hour(!)to Lawrence. No motel in Sumner.There I already booked my room,the only one!Keith told me he would bring me each day of the visit(12 days- unlimited visits!)to the prison, at 10 dollars a day.But,I reserved till the 18th of November.Jessica, his lawyer didn't write me the precise date yet!!If the PB is after that date,I have no room!Then I have to change there hotels!But a lot further from Sumner!And will Keith bring me back to Effingham later, when I go back to BE?It's more then an hour drive;there are NO taxis!
Pheww.For the'first'time I had liked to be present at his Parole!It is so VERY important to be there!Will I be able to make it?
Well,I wish you the very best in your life,Robert.
Stay healthy and till soon in a message on the blog. Thanks for your letter & card! ;)
x from Rita

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