Don't Be A Victim, Sexual Abuse Doesn't Have to Twist or Ruin Your Life!!!

When I was four, I woke up to the strong smell of alcohol and someone's hand in my underwear playing with my penis. i opened my eyes and saw my step-dad standing over me. I was so scared I peed on myself. My step-dad told me I was a bad boy and pulled my underwear off me. I don't recall the rest, but I do know that it continued until I was eleven. That was the beginning because of that I became a shy, introverted kid who was ashamed of being a bad boy and was afraid of anyone else finding out I was bad. I hit puberty between ten and eleven and realized I was very, very strongly addicted to guys. I truly believed I was bad because I liked dudes and gay boys were treated roughly back then and I was already very severely bullied because I was shy, quiet, and smart. Gay guys were considered Perverts and Weirdo's and hated by almost everyone, so I hated myself because I couldn't stop myself from being turned on by dudes. So as a teenager i felt shame, guilt, extreme fear and self hate. These emotions led me to believe no one could love me. I don't know if being sexually abused caused me to be gay or not but it did cause my life to be much darker and more painful than it needed to be. I had sex with girls a lot, I become aroused for naked girls but i can only orgasm with dudes. I didn't realize until much later in life that I was addicted to sex, i have been with over 100 girls and over 400 guys. However, anytime anyone started talking about love I ditched them because i couldn't be loved. I run into people who have tried to kill themselves because they were sexually abused. Some have become prostitutes, some have turned to violent sex (S&M). Some have convinced themselves that they wanted it because they liked the way it felt. Some have become abusers because they were abused and some have cut themselves off from sexual encounters completely. I am not saying that any of these reactions to being sexually abused makes you a horrible person, but I am saying that it's time we stop letting what happened to us make us victims. So i would like us to talk about it and help each other deal with this event that has changed our lives.

So I offer myself to you, no matter your sex, age, or situation talk to me. If you want advice or if you just want to tell someone your story, I'm here for you. If you have a question and you want more than just my opinion I can put it on this site and send you any comments made, and you will be completely unknown. We can help each other deal with the issues that sexual abuse can cause in our lives. We don't have to be victims, we can lift each other up, ease each others pain, make each others life better and hopefully stop the cycle of abuse. None of us deserved what happened to us. I'm not perfect, after all I'm in prison but here for you in whatever way you need me. I love you All. Peace and Love. :-)

Comment on this site, or email at www.jpay.com (for the cost of a stamp)

You can also write me: Donny Welch #1375713
McConnell Unit
3001 S. Emily Dr.
Beeville, TX 78102

P.S. I look forward to your comments and I really can use your help dealing with the many skeletons in my closet.