Nov. 24, 2018

Comment response

From Lessons Learned by Antoine Murphy (author's profile)
This post is in reply to comments on:  How Do You Deal With Life's Anxieties thumbnail
How Do You Deal With Life's Anxieties
(Aug. 7, 2017)


Reply ID: cm4v

Greetins Kyla.

How R U?

Thanx 4 ur response.

Glad that u found the advice 2 b helpful. The fact that u found it 2 b "the best advice" reminds me 2 thank God 4 answered prayer (Honestly I pray what 2 say in my letters - especially 2 those I've just met). Plus, I'm excited by the results, each -n- every time I put the wisdom He's entrusted me with 2 use. Isaiah 50 verse 4 comes 2 mind.

By answerin ur questions I'll comment on ur answers...

1) I'm still amazed that NE1 reads my post. Thanks 4 ur viewership 4 the past few months.

2) Find it more interestin that my blog would b under penpals or whatever. Mind u I'm not even vaguely familiar with how the internet, Google -n- whatnot all work. Do know there's millions of blogs/penpal sites. So I'm always amazed when mine stands out. Has 2 b a God thing. Hopefully I can continue 2 inspire u -n- others (myself included).

3) School -n- work. Been there. STILL THERE. Don't do much hangin out, but glad u have a trusted group of friends 2 hang out with.

4) Well ur friends sound inspirin. "Iron sharpens iron".

Have NE of your friends told u "u give great advice"?

As a counselor I suppose u should b a trustworthy person. Just know that in Corrections everything is policed. There r rules where part of ur job is 2 violate people's trust. 4 example if a person tells u he's/she's plannin on harmin themselves or others. Or if they confess 2 NE unsolved mysteries, etc.

5) I agree we need better rehabilitation. 4 me it's get'n 2 the heart of the matter - which is rarely - if ever done. Most of the time ur given mind trainin that tells u "ur nothin. Ur nobody. U just another inmate. U'll be back. Like all the rest".

Then there's the subtle nuances of the environment. Dim lights. Gloomy gray paint -n- clothing. Processed food -n- junk food, both of which rob u of energy. Meanwhile the library seemingly got rid of things like Entrepreneur, Black Enterprise, Small Business Opportunities - BUT kept Muscle -n- Fitness Runners' World, Slam, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, GQ Men's Health, People, People in Spanish, TV Guide, Entertainment Weekly, etc.

They even got rid of the Re-entry Resource Library. 'Magine that.

God's my rehabilitation

Yes. I agree "everyone needs someone 2 talk 2 especially in prison". I talk every now -n- then but better suited 2 let my pen do the talkin. Other than that gotta few penpals, talk 2 God, -n- 2 myself :) then call my guy Charlie like once a week.

Kyla, always keep in mind that just strivin -n- determinin 2 b a better u is an accomplishment in -n- of itself. So, u Kyla Johnson have already accomplished somethin in this life.

6) Caring is a good quality 2 have. Don't let others steal it from u or rob u of it. OK? It's important 2 B TRUE 2 URSELF. Without u - u got nothin. Does that make sense? See it's 4 u 2.

* KEEP UR U important 2 U *

Keep learnin how 2 B even more carin. Seek 2 B termed "CARIN KYLA"

Far as the apprehension U have regardin how carin 2 actually B, because carin 2 much seems 2 reward U with only the disappointment of bein treated like U nothin, there's a cure 4 that. In short. Learn 2 "set boundaries". Carin doesn't mean let'n people walk all over U. Nor does bein a carin person mean that U have 2 B foolish in ur care givin. USE WISDOM Jesus was a good example of this. John chapter 6. He CARED enuff 2 feed the 5,000 hungry people (verses 10-11) BUT He also CARED enuff 2 not let those same people treat Him as nothin or use Him 4 food. (verses 22-27)

It's OK 2 care BUT just because U CARE doesn't mean or obligate U 2 make an emotional investment -n- risk bein hurt again. Refuse 2 stand 4 bein treated like U nothin. U R SOMEBODY.

7) Hope U didn't take 6) as constructive criticism. I wrote it as ADVICE -n- ENCOURAGEMENT. I wrote it from a place of understandin. See I wore my [heart] on my sleeve till it was battered -n- bruised. Treated like nothin I became bitter -n- put my [heart] away. Soon I was a person who hardened his [heart]. It was downhill from there. BUT now my [heart] back on my sleeve - havin been REHAB'D. Now I just use WISDOM -n- discernment. Quick example. Sometimes when I give people stuff they say "I'm gone pay U back I promise". Some even say this when they borrow. "I'm gone pay U back I swear." Bein a givin person I'll "look out" but 2 protect my [heart] I tell the person, "U good. I don't want it back. Don't worry bout it." IF a guy tries 2 hustle me I sit down with him -n- express my feelins (yup I got them) -n- tell him I'm not going 2 give 2 him that which he sought etc.

* I ask'd question 7) cause please understand that in corrections U CAN LOSE UR JOB 4 BEIN 2 CARIN.

8) I'm confused. THOUGHT U WERE IN COLLEGE!? *please clarify* Because U wantin 2 graduate high school that LEADS 2 ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT UR AGE. * If Ur not 18 it is of the utmost importance that Ur parents know that U contacted me 4 advice. Does that make sense? Don't need no fake news or misunderstandings. I've mentored B4 but always at the behest of a parent/loved one/

9) Good that U have a helpin [heart]. Have U read NE books in furtherance of Ur bein a counselor? Do U counsel co-workers? Bosses? Have U considered other counselin jobs beyond corrections?

10) Is the book Milk -n- Honey NE good? Who wrote it? Sounds like poems about life, prosperity, the promised land.

B4 I answer Ur questions - if I offended U by the AGE thing - sorry, but try 2 understand my position. As well as my [heart] 2 help, as well as integrity. If U over 18 more power 2 U. Seems I'm talkin in circles so I'll move on.

Ur questions answered

1) I've been in since I was 18yrs -n- 60 days. Doin the math I been in prison 4 the last 21yrs, 1 month, -n- 27 days.

2) What's it like?


Naw, seriously - it's like the ghetto I grew up in, but with no girls or cars. It's angry loud, violent (physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, mentally, educationally, verbally, psychologically...) aggressive, borin, mundane, lethargic, anxious, overbearin, loveless, selfish - no positive words come 2 mind - nonsensical, beastly, crazy, dysfunctional.

I spend every day doing the same thing. 4am wake up 430am go 2 work in the bakery. 730-8am get off work shower go 2 my single cell. Nap or do my homework. Sometimes read, pray, walk laps. Some Mon mornings I go 2 a group (grief support) -n- next week I'll B doin 2 workshops - writin a resume -n- public speaking. Then I have Bible studies, AA, church -n- startin next week a Dad program.

I also try 2 keep my scheduled "laugh time" 3:30 - 6pm only cause shows that I find funny come on durin those times.

Every now -n- then I go 2 the gym 2 play basketball or exercise. I also enjoy designin clothes, but love designin athletic shoes. Plus round Xmas time I crochet gifts 4 friends, family, -n- the fatherless.

Still mainly I'm ALWAYS writin somethin or other.

3) I don't have a counselor per se. Do got a social worker who I may or may not ever see/meet. Specially since I got a new 1. Only person I feel comfortable talkin 2 is the chaplain. But even then I don't put all of me out there. Rules. Plus he 4 right now. Rules say I can't have dealins w/ him once released UNLESS I'm off "papers".

Used 2 talk 2 a psych, but it was all used against me :(.

I consider Jesus my "wonderful counselor" Isaiah 9:6. Hopefully Ur state/city will allow U 2 B the type of counsellor U desire 2 B. Maybe U better off w/ a private practice :) or advice column. :)

Dear Carin Kyla.

4) My fave shows - on the channels we get R:
Shark Tank
The Jeffersons
What's Happenin
Cowboys football
Warriors/Spurs basketball
Independent Lens (sometimes)
In Touch

5) Like gospel music so I listen 2 that on K Love -n- the family

Listen 2 some rap - when I can hear stuff from late 80s - '99. Heard the new stuff but don't get it. Like music w/ a message.

Well, gone get this in the mail. Quite busy plus 2 hrs in this chair takes a toll.

Enjoy 2day.


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