The Marriage Course
from the scientology Handbook
http://course.volunteerminister.org/play video/vm film marriage
1. Read the article "What is Marriage?"
2. Essay: Why does marriage have to continue to be created?
* A culture will go by the boards if its basic block, the family, is removed as a valid building block. The marriage relationship basically is a postulated relationship. A postulate is a conclusion decision or resolution about something. When people stop postulating a marriage, it ceases to exist. That is what happens to most marriage where people are having trouble with marriage it is because they are expecting it to run on automatic. They think it will hang together through no effort of their own; unfortunately it won't. It has to be created.
3. What is meant by "Marriage is a postulated relationship"?
To make something happen or bring something into being by making a postulate about it i.e. decision, resolution, conclusion - actually depends upon and establishes Reality, a purpose! Since LIFE is a Game: a state of beingness wherein exists awareness problems, freedoms, barriers and purposes, a marriage postulate determines the game conditions.
4. Practical Exercise: Think of a married couple and determine what they are doing to create their marriage. Are they both working to keep the marriage created, or is one or the other or both doing less than they should?
First it is necessary to define MARRIAGE ic: the institution whereby men and woman are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family. As compared to a MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE a marriage contracted for social, political, or economic advantage rather than for mutual affection. And in either MARRIAGE they are based upon postulates an agreement of reality. I've watched many marriage fail due to clearly understood agreements in LIFE and the corresponding Game Conditions.,.
5. Practical Exercise: Think of some situation you have seen or experienced where someone continued to create something later ceased to create it. The art of seduction is charming game demonstrating ability to play a captivating game, short lived as it often is. Or in today politically correct society of complicity, maintaining fidelity seems to be more of a barrier than a freedom and consequently becomes less important.
6. Read the article "Morals and Transgressions"
7. What is a moral code?
1. that series of agreements to which a person has subscribed to guarantee the survival of a group. 2. a series of solution to problems which have not been confronted or analyzed. Morals are the principles of right and wrong conduct. Morals are things which were introduced into the society to resolve harmful practices which could not be explained or treated in a rational manner. An arbitrary code of conduct not necessarily related to reasons. Indeed it appears much the same as Domination Suppressors of Authoritarianism.
8. What causes the withdrawal of a marital partner from his spouse?
* The introduction of an arbitraries into problems and solutions (logic #15)
* When one or the other of the partners in a relationship or a marriage transgress against to moral code they've agree upon, he or she often feels that they can't tell the other about it. That cut communication is the basic cause of disintegration in marriages.
9. Read the article "Remedies"
10. Read the article "Communication in Marriage"
11. Essay: What is communication lag?
* When a remark is addressed, how long does it take to register and return?
the elapsed time is what is called a communication lag. The fast answer tells of the fast mind and the sane mind, providing the answer is logical; the slow answer tells of less ability and sanity. A person who answers quickly (and rationally) is in much better condition than a person who answers after a long consideration.
12. Practical Exercise: Determine the communication lag of someone
* A phone call to someone whose been out of communication with me for near a month took a noticible moment to fathom an answer to my How are you? which indicates to me my letters/actions may have been overwhelmed them. Questions I've asked people BTB remain unanswered, indicating a condition near or at a Doubt. ER claimed unwillingness to communicate because he feels in the wrong. JT knows I clearly see his u/w's, and merely seeing me is a challenge to his preferred stupidity. The only crime is communication it seems. But communication is the only solution for hiding from the truth of ones responsibility - to one's self!
13. Read the article "Assist for a Fight with a Spouse".
14. Read the article "Maintaining a Marriage"
15. Practical Exercise: Find someone who is having some kind of a marital difficulty and help him or her by having the person read at least some of the dots contained in this course
* If nothing else - read this: We get surrounded by bunches of rules. I don't care what rules you're surrounded by as long as there is free communication amongst the members of the family - that group. If there's free communication amongst the members of the group, their affinity is sufficiently high to take the shocks and hammers and pounds of life. If the individuals connected with a family are not self-supportive then these shock an be rough. But on a self-supportive, mutually co-supportive basis people have a better chance, and that's one of the basic philosophies on which marriage is based
* The only "help" I can offer others having difficulties in their relationships/marriages is simply to help remind them what was the game plan you agreed to play? Why did you marry (him/her) Why did you partner up? Holding them to account on that initial postulate agreement helps put everything after into perspective.
16. Final Essay - Course Results
KRC (Knowledge Responsibility Control) which relies upon ARC (Affinity Reality Communication), of which communication is senior. Being reminded of Prime Postulates of Partnership/Marriage permits an understanding of the agreed upon game plan and prompts an actual cycle of action coordinations of recreations to foster relationships. I've learned that self-determined responsibility is the master key of successful partnerships/marriages. If/when that is supplanted by arbitrary determination of others, then that supplantation undermines responsibility under the guise of help—as it has since the metaphorical Jacob's name change ushered in Government Regulations for a sick society.
Alas: arbitrary law is anything formulated and promulgated by reason of man's will, to be enforced by threat or punishment or merely disapprobation. Natural law is enforced by nature. Logic adapts decision and conduct to nature or adapts nature. The amount of arbitrary law existing in a society is a direct index to the inability of that society to be rational and to the irrationality of the members of that society. Only in the face of irrationality is force necessary. A fully logical entity should not only be handled by force but, excepting cataclysms, cannot be handled by force!
Authoritarianism is the induction of arbitrary law where no natural law is known, yet maintaining that the arbitrary law is the natural law.
Ergo: education must raise the level of rationality and increase/reinforce the basic purpose and dynamics of the individual if it to result in a betterment of the individual or of society. It is the prime purpose of education to increase the self-determination of the individual. It is the goal of education to sort the arbitrary from the natural. For the love of truth.
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Words often have several meanings. The definitions used here only give the meaning that the word has as it is used in these () references
(3) Game conditions are: attention; identity; effect on opponents; no effect on self; tools of play; own goals and field; purpose; problems of play; self-determination; opponents; the possibility of loss; the possibility of winning; communication
(7) Domination forcing the other person to do exactly what is desired with the mechanism of recrimination and denial of friendship or support unless instant compliance takes place
(7) Suppressor, often considered "social conduct" in so far as one prevents things from being revealed which might embarrass or frighten others
(8) Arbitrary, 1. something which is introduced into the situation without regard to the data of the situation
(12) Stupidity is the unknowness of consideration
(12) Responsibility, 1. the ability and willingness to assume the status of full source and cause for all efforts and count-efforts
(16) Prime Postulate is the decision to change from a state of not beingness to a state of beingness
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