I'm Back

Please excuse my prolonged absence. I will be writing regularly again, so those interested can check for new posting regularly again! (yeah)

My Father recently told me "If you wake up every morning and thank the universe it will thank you back" I truly believe that in normal circumstances. Prison is as abnormal as it gets. You can have your life taken literally for not saying escuse me to th wrong person. It is sooooo difficult to keep a upbeat, chin-up attitude here, I do my best but some days I just want to quit, give-up. I already have all-eyes on me because of my trans status. I now have a coveted job as a cook, the first trans to hold this job, so not only do I have a job that any inmate would set me up to get. I must deal with yard drame, even though we are in a men' institution these guy's act like little boy's. The only salvation is my nicheren Buddhism, family and friends who keep in touch regualarly. Even that can be frustrating when they forget how important mail can be to those of us locked up. No one wants to feel forgotten about.

Prison will do strange things to a person's self-worth. The most secure person in the world will have doubts when locked-up!

I'm enrolled in college, I'm doing trans activism and facilitate. (2) Self-help groups and still have daily issues with feeling worthy! I chant daily nam-myoho-renge-kyo

Dad - I know I'm not your typical child, in fact my life is as far from normal as you can get. I apologse if sometimes I'm as needy as a 4 yr old. You have stood by me through all of this and for that and a million other reasons I love and appreciate you.

F Y I

Life does get better if you hold on long enough, the trick is holding on, here!

Love thru struggle

(Terra) Darrell

P S For the firsr time in history L G B T people have been allowed to march in Gay Pride in uniform, Sandigo Gay Pride 2012 - yeah.