I got a Christmas card for you. I will put it in the mailbox and send it on its way. Lately I no longer work overtime
for work. I sent an email to my boss and he got angry and sent an email back that I had crossed the line and the email
was no way to talk to a supervisor. So fearing loss of my job I have learned a lesson. I told him in my last email that
I had learned my lesson and that I was not going to work extra unless I was forced. He did not like that at all and let
me have it. Anyway I have started going to dinner with my sis Renee. She and Joe just bought a much larger house closer
to my tiny messy house. We went to Cheddars for my birthday.

I have problems with the fibro and arthritis so I got a
painkiller while I was there. It worked so well that I went home and went to sleep after we talked for about two hours.
The next morning I searched high and low for my keys and finally opened the door and there they were. When I went to work
I told Tim about leaving the keys in the door. Later I mentioned the painkiller and he said oh now the keys in the door
all night makes sense. I was leaving for the day and ran into my bosses boss. His birthday is a day after mine. He
asked me how my birthday went. I told him about the cake that I got at work and told him about spending the evening
with my sis for my birthday. Now he knows about the pain medication that I take all the time and I told him that while
I was out with my sister I had a painkiller. He looked at me and I guess he wondered why I was telling him about taking
a painkiller. So to end the suspense I said - Yea it had Rum, orange juice, pineapple juice, a slice of pineapple and
toasted coconut around the rim. I started laughing at the look that came on his face. He said I could use one of those
and he walked away. I hope you can figure out who this is. It should be obvious. I am trying to open up a little and
leave that introverted person behind. I went to the grocery store and stopped to look at some snirnoff ice drinks.
Took me 10 minutes to make up my mind about buying them. A six pack of wild grape beer. I discovered that they were
great and the next time I went to the store I bought another six pack of that one and another one called screwdriver.
It is difficult to step up for me because of all of the things that I have been through. Physical and emotional abuse.
I often take things too far and make people angry. It is hard for me to know where to draw the line. I am trying. My
boss did my review and some of the comments were about me withdrawing from a task when there was a conflict. He said
I was very team oriented and that was wonderful but if there was any kind of drama or conflict over something I shut
down.

He wants me to stop doing that and take charge of a project. So I am planning a major upgrade on a system that
I support. I will be in charge of it and will have to schedule meetings and assign work to my team members usually
on a volunteer basis. Hopefully that will continue to step up and open up. As you know I used to be a fun loving person.
With all the issues that happened to the two of us I starting shutting down. Walls came up and I became somewhat
unavailable to everyone. The battles that I attempted to conquer often sent me over the edge and I ended up making
everyone mad. I still have that issue at work. As my boss said I cross the line. I was in a meeting once and
people had been bugging me all week about some patches that got sent out and caused issues. I thought I had told all the
team that it was me that did it and I was sorry about the issues. Well Steve decided to ask about it in the meeting
and in my typical fashion I stood up and waved my arms around and said - IT WAS ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT. Worked out
well because I was wearing my teashirt with a chihuahua on the front and the words said DRAMA QUEEN. That worked out
well. Later Steve said - you know when I asked that question I did not expect all of that from you. Pointed to my
shirt and said I am a drama queen. Another person said I was high maintenance because I kept asking him to do something
that I did not have rights to do. So he got angry and told me that. I am not sure I will ever learn to be any different.
When I take the time and make the effort to get what I need I just end up making people mad and it is so frustrating. I
am 54 now and not sure I will ever change. My reviews always have comments that I am a team player and that everyone
likes me. So maybe there is hope for me yet. I know that you have to know who this is. Pretty obvious. I love you and
miss you and you will get the card soon. Ever so often I am not such a bad mom to someone that is on my mind every single day and tears happen when I look at the pictures because they are all that I have for a long time.