Jan. 17, 2013

Am I Gay?

From Lonely Dragon by Donny Welch (author's profile)

Transcription

Am I gay?

Okay. Look, I´m attracted to men and women. More so men than women. The major difference between the two being that I only cum with men, so that should make me gay, right? Well, then why do I always end up with dudes who are closeted? I have never had an openly gay lover. I don´t like having to sneak around just to have sex with the guy who is supposed to be my boyfriend. I have always been attracted to guys, but I have never been accepted in gay circles. Most openly gay dudes don´t believe I´m gay. Most women don´t believe I´m gay either. I guess I´m too manly, or something. It´s true; I have no feminine qualities and, even though I haven´t had sex with a woman since I was 18, I still get erect for good looking chicks, but the fact that I won´t cum is a downer; so, why is it that closeted dudes can tell I´m gay, but gay men can´t? Well, take care of yourselves.

Peace :)

Donny

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StStephy Posted 11 years, 10 months ago. ✓ Mailed 11 years, 9 months ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.

And just a thought. You say you´re manly looking, there are some gay men who, even though they claim to be attracted to men, are usually attracted to feminine types of guys, and if they are feminine themselves, they probably would expect you to act that way to believe you, but I can assure you that many gay men like precisely that: men. The reason why the "closeters" like you best could be because of the same thing, since you don´t "look" gay, they feel safe being seen with you without people thinking there is a relationship between us.

Good luck!!

Nicki Posted 11 years, 10 months ago. ✓ Mailed 11 years, 9 months ago   Favorite
I think we're all too stuck on labels which leads us into a state of confusion and I think that's what your questions show here. Perhaps we should look at sexuality as a sliding scale, one we can slide up and down throughout our lifetimes as we grow and became more accepting of what entices us. I think perhaps a lot of our problems come from how we perceive ourselves, and others, and try to fit in the 'gay' box, or the 'straight' box when humans are simply more complex that that. We are all so very individual and we need to respect the beauty in that. This is what your post has reminded me today. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself, and for the complex thoughts you've raised in my mind today.

Take care. Nicki

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