I enjoyed reading your blog and I will pray for you in hope that you don't give up and always keep your head held up and keep moving forward. It's always good to have a good attitude in life. Life does throw alot at us but nothing we can't handle.
Wow, Allan, this is so profoundly and beautifully written. What you have stated here is what Pema Chodron's Noble Heart is all about: May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering, may you find happiness and the causes of happiness. I think Noble Heart would indeed be a fine addition to the library. In Noble Heart, Pema teaches meditation techniques: return to the out breath, discipline (label your thoughts "thinking"), have a sense of openness, and to meditate without expectation, with out hope of fruition. This is to train our minds to be in the present. To realize that our minds are so much huger than the constant discursive, cause/effect, little mind that we mostly live from. I just finished listening to Noble Heart today (it took me 2 months), and plan to listen again, there is so much to it, I feel like the first time through I just let it wash over me and a few things stuck, but there is a lifetime of learning to be done from here. You are a true inspiration to me Allan! That you can find the peace of the present moment in prison is monumental. Would you mind if I posted this on Facebook? I know that it is very personal, but I also know that it is very inspirational and could be helpful to people who are struggling. Please let me know, thanks.
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. It is just my limited technological ability. But now I think I have this figured out.
I am back in Memphis right now. I took 3 traveling assignments: Amherst,MA, Chattanooga and Knoxville. I enjoyed the traveling, and 2 out of 3 jobs. I didn't like the Knoxville job, mostly because I was supervising physical therapy assistants and not allowed the time to do therapy treatments. It was very frustrating to stand by and supervisor mediocre treatment sessions, when I wanted to be treating the patients myself! I won't take a job like that again! I put my house up for sale 2 weeks ago. Once my house sells, I plan to go back to travel therapy. Oregon is definitely on my list! It is nice to be home for a while though. I've gone to church the past few Sundays. There are new faces, old faces, the awesome little choir and Burton's brilliant sermons.
Keep meditating, Keep writing. Blessings to you, Lisa
Dear Lonely Dragon: I hope your health continues to improve and that your spirits stay positive.
If you have not already done so, you may want to join the PEN prison writing program; it's an international writers group. If you like, I can request the organization's writing guide to be sent to you.
Your writing is very interesting and, of course, unique.
Eric, thanks for your response. Why did you spend the last month of your sentence in confinement? I assume you know that I won't mind if you want to keep that private. Also, how has prison been different from county jail? If you could choose one to stay at, which would it be?
Also, like I said in my reply to your other latest blog post, you should really consider writing a book. I forgot what your sentence was, so I have no idea how you'd do it, but if you get out anytime soon, I think it's something you should consider.
Other questions pop in my head but I'm figuring you get tired of talking about prison life when you have to live in it 24/7. I'll throw some questions out and you can answer if you like, or not.
1. What's changed, the most, about you as a person? Compared to when you first got in county jail.
2. I always get the impression that in prison, you have to stick to your race quickly or basically you'll get your ass handed to you. You don't seem like the gang type, however. How did you avoid it? Or is the whole race thing not that big a deal?
3. Do you feel like you constantly have to establish a macho/tough-guy presence, or after all of these years are you known enough to not worry about that?
Man, I don't know if you would be able to, but you should write a book. This stuff is amazingly engrossing, entertaining, and like I've said before, you have a knack of completely keeping in touch with how "the average guy" would react to these situations. Of course, I'm sure you have changed out of necessity, but your retelling of these little slices of life makes for awesome reading. I'm genuinely disappointed when I come to the end of your posts. Eagerly awaiting new posts from you.
When I was young(er), I used to ask this question of men that I met in my life:
"If there was a nuclear war...what would you do?"
There was no right or wrong answer of course, but it gave me an insight into the person...how they would view adversity (albeit the example in this case was an extreme one). Those that said they'd stick their head between their legs and kiss their butt goodbye never impressed me. Those that said they'd want to survive...interested me.
I've always been a fan of catastrophe movies...and not just for the special effects (although I must confess I truly do enjoy watching the obliteration of Paris for some warped reason). I believe adversity brings out our true nature...tests our mettle, so to speak.
If I knew that the world would end, without hope of life continuing in some form or another...then I'd accept it peacefully, spending what time was left appreciating the world around me and the people that mean the most to me. If however, there was even a smidgen of hope that the world would go on...even drastically altered...I'd probably do my best to be prepared. I just wouldn't want to miss the adventure...
The real problem comes when I think about my pets. Do I stock up on Cat Chow or set them free...maybe turn them into my personal hunting pack...and would they be loyal? There are so many things to think about when it comes to the end of the world. Maybe I should make a list...
RSS
In Noble Heart, Pema teaches meditation techniques: return to the out breath, discipline (label your thoughts "thinking"), have a sense of openness, and to meditate without expectation, with out hope of fruition. This is to train our minds to be in the present. To realize that our minds are so much huger than the constant discursive, cause/effect, little mind that we mostly live from.
I just finished listening to Noble Heart today (it took me 2 months), and plan to listen again, there is so much to it, I feel like the first time through I just let it wash over me and a few things stuck, but there is a lifetime of learning to be done from here.
You are a true inspiration to me Allan! That you can find the peace of the present moment in prison is monumental.
Would you mind if I posted this on Facebook? I know that it is very personal, but I also know that it is very inspirational and could be helpful to people who are struggling.
Please let me know, thanks.
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. It is just my limited technological ability. But now I think I have this figured out.
I am back in Memphis right now. I took 3 traveling assignments: Amherst,MA, Chattanooga and Knoxville. I enjoyed the traveling, and 2 out of 3 jobs. I didn't like the Knoxville job, mostly because I was supervising physical therapy assistants and not allowed the time to do therapy treatments. It was very frustrating to stand by and supervisor mediocre treatment sessions, when I wanted to be treating the patients myself! I won't take a job like that again! I put my house up for sale 2 weeks ago. Once my house sells, I plan to go back to travel therapy. Oregon is definitely on my list! It is nice to be home for a while though. I've gone to church the past few Sundays. There are new faces, old faces, the awesome little choir and Burton's brilliant sermons.
Keep meditating, Keep writing.
Blessings to you,
Lisa
If you have not already done so, you may want to join the PEN prison writing program; it's an international writers group. If you like, I can request the organization's writing guide to be sent to you.
Your writing is very interesting and, of course, unique.
Also, like I said in my reply to your other latest blog post, you should really consider writing a book. I forgot what your sentence was, so I have no idea how you'd do it, but if you get out anytime soon, I think it's something you should consider.
Other questions pop in my head but I'm figuring you get tired of talking about prison life when you have to live in it 24/7. I'll throw some questions out and you can answer if you like, or not.
1. What's changed, the most, about you as a person? Compared to when you first got in county jail.
2. I always get the impression that in prison, you have to stick to your race quickly or basically you'll get your ass handed to you. You don't seem like the gang type, however. How did you avoid it? Or is the whole race thing not that big a deal?
3. Do you feel like you constantly have to establish a macho/tough-guy presence, or after all of these years are you known enough to not worry about that?
When I was young(er), I used to ask this question of men that I met in my life:
"If there was a nuclear war...what would you do?"
There was no right or wrong answer of course, but it gave me an insight into the person...how they would view adversity (albeit the example in this case was an extreme one). Those that said they'd stick their head between their legs and kiss their butt goodbye never impressed me. Those that said they'd want to survive...interested me.
I've always been a fan of catastrophe movies...and not just for the special effects (although I must confess I truly do enjoy watching the obliteration of Paris for some warped reason). I believe adversity brings out our true nature...tests our mettle, so to speak.
If I knew that the world would end, without hope of life continuing in some form or another...then I'd accept it peacefully, spending what time was left appreciating the world around me and the people that mean the most to me. If however, there was even a smidgen of hope that the world would go on...even drastically altered...I'd probably do my best to be prepared. I just wouldn't want to miss the adventure...
The real problem comes when I think about my pets. Do I stock up on Cat Chow or set them free...maybe turn them into my personal hunting pack...and would they be loyal? There are so many things to think about when it comes to the end of the world. Maybe I should make a list...