Recent Comments

I also went ahead and registered/signed up with the website you listed for inmate packages so now I can just add things to the shopping cart online anytime I visit the website, as well as check in on any items that were out of stock such as those stamped envelopes! (LOL thats still driving me insane, that was one of the most important items I should be sending!) -smile- I really hope that this is okay for now, I know I should have asked you first which was needed the absolute most at the moment but I dont have time and wanted to send something special on the way to you that you wouldnt be normally expecting in the mail. (smile) I def wanted to get it on its way before I started to prepare for my trip on the 25th, cos Im sure from the 20th forward Ill be trying to make sure Im totally ready for it. Basically wanted to send a nice surprise your way, because you deserve it and are worth it, and I want you to know that most of all. Much Luv and Best Wishes Always From CC

Yes, I know this is late, but I wanted to send you something!! Here is what you can expect, hopefully they do not substitute anything as they shouldnt since everything I found was in stock except for the pack of stamped envelopes. (frown) Order Number is EW-13270852 Order Date Aug 18th 2012... You should receive the following SIX items:

Wireless Notepad (Item 6501011)....
Wool Hat Oatmeal Grey (Item 2501011)....
Sweat Shirt XL (Item 2530065)....
Sweat Pants XL (Item 2520081)....
Grt Sport TShirt 2pack 2XL (Item 3025011)....
Jumbo Playing Cards 1pk (Item 6002007)

I really wanted to grab a few other things for you, namely the stamped envelopes but that was the only item the site kept saying it didnt have in stock. So Ill just send these items for now and hope they help some! (smile) Keep hangin tough and stay strong! If I add anything else to this order, Ill wait and do it when you let me know what you are currently needing the most as I know this post was not exactly new. Much Love, CC (smile)

Seems to me what I find mainly is that relatives or good friends of those who are down make an e-mail account for them, and each few days they print out any emails from people that read their personal blogs or pen pal ads etc and send them their own selves. THIS (Behind The Bars.org) is the first site I have found that prints and mails replies to those who post their blogs here. Thank God. I now plan on letting everyone I know know about this website since they are still reading at the blogs where a friend operates them for a person and comments get lost, etc. One friend got mad at the guy she was running a blog for and totally messed it all up just to be rude to him. He was locked up for 10-15 and what could he do about it?? He lost so many pen pals over that and didnt know why cos he didnt know what shes done! I think it was an ex who had came back into his life way after his lock up. It was over 2 mos before someone finally wrote him personally and said your personal blog that so-and-so was running on wordpress each week has been destroyed and gives the wrong address for you! Its been that way since like 2 months ago! This guy had to find someone else to quickly run a new blog for him, and was heartbroken that hed lost so many friends who thought they had lost him due to their comments being lost or not mailed ot even worst, responded to by the operator of the mans blog in a rude fashion and they thought it was him writing the words. I dont know if the dude ever got up and running again for sure after that, since so much was lost- photos, artwork for sale, etc. And the friendships and replies from such treasured pen pals who I cant believe thought he would ever type them such hateful stuff, I would have known instantly that the blog had been hacked into or the operator was on an angry hellride against the blogger. So sad. Just shows how unhappy people truly are when they show such cruelty in that way. -CC

Did you know that for SOME states (not mine or even yours yet, ugh!) have arranged a way for friends/relatives to communicate via the internet with people who are locked up? One of the sites that works for the state of TX prisons is called JPay dot com and if you send the email/write it and send for the cost of one stamp at the post office by a certain time each afternoon, the person is guaranteed to have it printed out and delivered at that days mail call. I read about JPAY's website and hoped that my state or someones I knew would be affiliated with it, but it was mostly states where I knew nobody at all like TX, out west, etc. You could also send money to their books/account through the website too. The fee was minimal and not expensive, no worse than a money order at the post office. I wish that every state would get going with JPAY dot com OR A WEBSITE like it because then there would be alot more communication going on THESE DAYS! Since the web is the way. I wish more prisons would learn about these especially here on the East Coast, cos it seems that only in states like FL, CA, and for sure the state of TX is big on JPay especially for those on DRow, and places where the DRow is hardcore seems to be where the prison/sometimes even county jail(s) etc aka the system allow the people to have e-mails sent in, printed out, and handed to them with any postal mail they also get, just as they would be during normal mail call ONLY THEY RECEIVE IT JUST HOURS LATER AND ON THE SAME DAY THAT friend/relative e-mailed them thru JPay's site! If I had it my way, a site LIKE Jpay or Jpay itself could be accessed by ANYONE willing to pay to shoot an e-mail to their relative/friend/loved one NO MATTER WHAT STATE THEY ARE IN OR WHAT PRISON ETC as long as they are willing to sign up for the website and join. Anywhere in any of the 50 states. There HAS to be something like that out there already, surely, cos it would make a killing considering that JPay only serves perhaps 3 states if that many. Plus its such an easy way to instantly send money to inmate accounts for so cheap. Im gonna do some research and see, wish there was one cos I know that the old skool postal mail thing is keeping so many new age un-old skool type of people from keeping up with others that are down and need them the most during that time, especially! -CC

There are relatives/family friends from back in the day that Ive never forgotten, etc that each year I send a Christmas card to. In the recent years, they always mention to my grandparents when they see them that Im one of the few that they can always count on to send one in the mail and make them smile. I never fail either. (smile) I also still send Sympathy cards, Get Well cards, LETTERS to family that I only see perhaps once every 3-5 years in the mountain area of the state, Graduation cards to my younger cousins, Birthday cards to my Mom/dad/grandparents, Congratulations cards to recently married friends or a friend that just became a new mom along with a gift card inside for them to spend on new things they will need, etc. Even the gift cards (have replaced the old gift certificates with these that work more like a debit card so its hard to use the whole amount without spending extra PLUS the user cant just buy a dollar priced item using a 100 dollar gift card and get 99bucks back like back in the day of gift certificates haha) I choose to mail through the post office regular mail in a CARD with a handwritten note saying Im thinking of someone. My whole fam knows Im big on this, and always have been too. (lol) I even have the option of sending the gift cards I buy from stores websites via email to my friends but how impersonal does that feel? Very. I guess I am just old skool. And dont intend to change. Lucky I got down with using a computer much less the internet and email. I did get into Myspace when it was big and now have a Facebook I rarely check. But ONLY cos thats what EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING and if you want to hear from anyone else, thats the way! I am thinking back to May 2001 when my high school class received our graduation invites in the mail that wed each ordered to fold each one (outta 100s) into cards, place one of our chosen senior pictures inside, and then send it via mail. All of us did this and devoted a week to it, without ever fussing. That was 2001. I wonder what it would be like NOW? I had a friend get mad at me for not knowing she got married, and she said DONT YOU EVEN READ THE LOCAL NEWSPAPERS WEBSITE?! So I guess the internet is the only way Ill ever find out anything thats goin down in the world with those I love/know, etc. (Perhaps thats why my grandpa age 82 has Facebook, blogging, Twitter, even chatting thru instant message along with email too of course, AND hes done it better/faster than I! But hey, hes retired, Im the one thats been busy like crazy working since especially 2006!) Haha, so my old skool ways that some people adore, &others cannot seem to stand is growin rare! Makes me laugh, thinking of what 10yrs from now will be like!

Ive had plenty of people throughout my life get upset rooming with me because of the fan situation but I cannot sleep without some sort of "white noise" as they call it, cos like you said it is calming and puts me to sleep. However, if the person who dislikes it thinks I will fall asleep and then they can yank the plug without me waking, they are sadly mistaken because Ill snap awake that very second cos its the only thing keeping me falling deeper into a better sleep (haha). Ive had fans, air conditioners, sleep sound machines that make sounds of the ocean waves etc, all throughout my life. If I DONT have a form of white noise Ill literally keep waking up all night easily distracted unless I put in a pair of EAR PLUGS that I carry when I travel. (haha seriously I do this when no access to fan etc) Cos Id rather have the humming sound of nothing than the disruptive sound of everything at any second, bursting through my zone and waking me from my hard to even reach sleep. I had a sleep study done at a neurological hospital in 2004 and they said I never even come close to the full stage of REM or the final stage of fully being asleep so this is probably why. Otherwise, said roommate COULD get away with pulling the plug on my white noise maker or fan ONCE I FELL ASLEEP and Id never wake up cursing them out. (haha) I am the poster child for sleeping rituals and also have to have it totally dark. The ONLY form of light that DOES NOT annoy me or keep me awake and actually calms me (get this haha) is a damn christmas tree! Im not playing! I have a 3-4ft one in my bedroom during Holidayz and it doesnt bug me, yet any other form of light would/does. I also wear a sleep mask especially when I travel because oh my God, HOTELS ARE THE WORST NO MATTER HOW EXPENSIVE THEY ARE WHEN IT COMES TO BEING ABLE TO SLEEP WELL AND STILL CARRY OUT YOUR USUAL BEDTIME RITUALS HAHA for real! People have also gotten very annoyed (VERY) with me before because Im unable to even attempt falling asleep with a television on. LOL I just cant stand it, it messes with my eyes and drives me insane yet they seem to calm themselves by using it the way Id use my fan or white noise sound machine. Yet the same person who can fall asleep to the sound of RAMBO FIRST BLOOD PART TWO cannot STAND the sound of my little ocean wave machine? Or a little fan? (haha its what they always said anyway!) But Im sorry, not even earplugs AND a sleep mask can help me ignore a tv!! And some people have to have it!

I have to say with smiling, and if not smiling, at least looking pleasant instead of miserable or mean/hateful (haha) cos sure, some people may not wanna seem HAPPY in prison but do they wanna seem ANGRY on the other hand?? If I saw relatives photos all looking angry or p'd off Id worry that things were really gettin to them in there and they were not doin so well. However, I say meet the problem in the middle and those who dont wanna appear to be pleased and happy with being in prison that dont wanna smile then at least look pleasant, or just look yourself. Dont try too hard, dont overdo the tough look, let it come natural. Your photos are a good example, seriously: because you can take some smiling, some laid back, some like you are thinking, some that look as if you are just chillin, some that look like you have the situation under control but yet can still tell you have a heart under all the muscle, its good to also mix it up a bit. Just dont look MEAN and should be just fine, anything other than mean is great- (haha) whether its all the way smiling, grinnin, looking pleasant, or just being yourself. Cos no matter what, you want your pics to represent you cos they are OF you. Actually, on another thought, its not a bad thing to smile in a prison photo because it makes those who see it worry less that you arent doing well there. It shows you can keep your head up in bad situations, etc. However if I had to give just one answer: Id go with making everyone happy about the photo question by saying JUST BE PLEASANT FACED AND THATS IT, itll do the job trust me!! It doesnt necessarily have to be one extreme or the other. I dont think. (smile) Hope you enjoy all of this mail! Much love, CC

When it comes to dating, Ive never ever thought about it. Ive dated men shorter than I am, much taller than I am, and even my height almost eye to eye and it never crossed my mind when it came to meeting them/getting to know them. As for me, Im about average height but Im alot like you- have never thought much about it. Id go shopping with friends before and theyd be trying to find shoes that "will make you look taller!" even though they were all either less than an inch taller or shorter than I was/am and Ive never worried about it- when it comes to me nor when it comes to a potential partner. Seriously. But Ive met (and know) MANY people who obsess over it like a disease (haha really, its all they rant about!) thats wrong with them, and the majority of them are women friends of mine from previous jobs or college who HATED "being under 5'3" at least. One of my best friends through my entire life is only 4'11" and she never complained about it, yet another best friend since school is close to 5'9" and fusses about being TOO tall. so for some, there is NO happy medium I guess. (haha) I guess Ive never thought about it because for women, we go by our build also. According to my friend I have long legs so even though we are both the same height, I have longer legs than she does so it sucks. So Im leaning toward it having to do with how well a person is proportioned as well. But then again, like I said, my BFF since childhood is only 4'11" if that and shes never ever mentioned it. Shes happy and comfortable in the clothes she wears/buys and confident in herself one hundred percent. Yet to some, like my 5'9" friend from school, this is too short, this is too tall, I wish I had your legs and Id give you my this or that, haha, yes these are some of the raves and rants ladies have between themselves sometimes. I just nod and smile, agreeing. -CC

Ive never been out West to CA before, but Ive traveled the East Coast since 2001 often. Ive been in Atlanta, GA....Ft Myers, FL.... Naples, FL.... Marco Island, FL.... Doraville, GA outside of ATL....Many cities around Alabama including Gulf Shores Beach.... Virginia Beach, VA for Spring Break 2004.... way too many cities in Tennessee since I was very young.... Flint, MI.... Detroit, MI.... Ann Arbor, MI.... all through the state of Indiana (even worked there in Jeffersonville and Clarksville for years).... couple of places in West Virginia.... Miami, FLA too.... Myrtle Beach, South Carolina..... Cherokee, NC.... Chicago, IL.... Maryland.... Id have to make a list that would prob take up 2 notebook pages of cities Ive stayed in, traveled to, lived in, worked at, etc since the year 2001 especially. The list goes on (smile) I was a road tripper, crazy about it, and even in groups would do the 22.5 hr drives to the end of Florida from here where I am driving the entire time, never giving any of them a chance (smile) and only stopping to eat and use the bathroom upon request of course. I should have been a truck driver OTR and traveled the whole USA. (smile)

I do not blame you for not wanting to stay in WI considering the majority of your time has been spent while being down in that state. I hope that your aunt keeps you updated on the possibility of you returning to Cali to live, since she has offered you a place. If I can pass on one bit of knowledge to anybody that I have had to learn the hard way, its this: Do not live somewhere or even attempt to live somewhere where you already know or feel will not work out. WI has not been a positive experience for you, and its not ever going to feel like HOME so far away from where you were raised/spent alot of years etc. I know you mentioned in one of your blogs awhile back that New York felt like home in a way, but being born in Cali and having fam there is a good thing. Having a place to stay with a family member is a good thing. And so is being able to start totally over, which I have no doubt that you will succeed at in more ways than you suspect you are capable of! -CC

Did you ever know you were capable of such great writing before you were locked up? Often times we dont know what we are capable of until the odds are against us and we are facing hardship and the best of us appears. (smile) Thank you for sharing the beauty. -CC