I wasn't writing because i had problems with a boyfriend.. Hes been gone for awhile now .. i took your advice and kicked him to the curb because your right i am stronger than that.. and yes i do care about you and i still love you. you will get a letter soo0n explaining everything ..untill then you are always stuck in my heart and mind.. love you
It is a wonderful thing to work out who those special people in our lives are, that love us no matter what. Always hold them dear to you! (I know you will).
May I suggest though, for those that weren't there... would you consider the posibility that they also found themselves in an unfamiliar position with no idea what to do, or what they 'could' do to help support you.
I'm not suggesting you be-friend each and every one of your frenemies, maybe just ask the question of them 'why weren't you there' - they may have an explanation that will make some sense to you and help you leave that pain behind.
Hello Craig, this is your cousin, Cynthia (ReRe) thank you for sharing your story with the world. It is people like you and stories like yours that help others get through their "day to day" trials. I want you to know that you have support on the outside as I think of you often and will write as well. Please be encouraged and stay strong. I love you Cuz Cynthia
James, you have committed no crime against me, it therefore makes little sense to me to offer you my forgiveness... yet from my position as a member of the human race; I want you to have the opportunity to 'raise (as a man), with your head held high', just as I hope your victim does.
I hope in turn you are able to forgive a rigid system and the ignorance of many to see only your crimes and ignore your potential.
When is enough, enough? What you request; 'forgiveness' is not unreasonable.
You may have once been a rapist... does it make sense to think that is all you are still, or all you are capable of, even after more than 2 decades.
Those of us on the outside have the privilidge of growing and changing over time. It is not only expected of us, but occurs naturally. Why should you not? From a sociatal perspective, I say you are not given any incentive to be anything more,unless we reach out the hand of forgiveness to you and trust that you are capable of more.
I don't live in the USA; my country sentences more fairly I believe and doesn't write people off for a lifetime because of bad decisions made in a moment. In fact one of my old school friends did two terms of imprisonment for charges of rape yet now, as a free man who has been provided with the opportunity to do better; has a stable job, a wife and family and the incentive to make good choices each and every day. It saddens me that you are not given that opportunity. We are all more than our worst act and you should be awarded the opportunity to prove that to yourself, your victim, your loved ones and society through the positive contribution I believe you are (we all are!) capable of. How do we as a society expect you to do better if we do not provide you with those opportunities? We cannot.
Hey Buddy! We miss you tons cant wait till ur home! We droveby the old house today so that the boys could see it! They are crazier than ever! :) and so big!!! Well Alvin my # is still the same so i expect to hear from you when u get home! Thanks for the card! Ur a very sweet dear friend Alivn! See you soon man!! Love ya Jamie Brad Zarin Zach Zavery :}
One of the worst feelings in life is to feel forgotten, even for a month or week(s) much less for 20 years!! It so easily can get to the point where one feels like they are not just forgotten but that they no longer even exist either. I enjoy reading your words of self expression and they speak volumes from the soul. I noticed you ended this one about a plea of innocence....if I had to suffer for just 10 yrs much less 20 and was innocent, I cant imagine what my heart mind or soul would break down and do to my world....or what I had left of it anyway. I admire you for your strength and for even being able to express how you think and feel after so long of being discarded (a perfect word you use) and forgotten like something in an attic that nobody even remembers or knows of anymore. I have felt that feeling, but share my kindest thoughts with you and send them your direction because I have never experienced it like you must have. I know this can be personal, but is there anything you can do to change this if you did not do this crime? Has anything in the past done more other than let you down or left you hanging with false promises or too busy lawyers/defenders? I feel for you, James, and truly send the kindest of peaceful thoughts to you at this second. From CC.
LOL (smile) at this post....sounds like I can sometimes be but not on purpose! Hey, Im not a procrastinator and I DO listen when someone is speaking to me......I just dont remember anything very well. Haha! Have a good day and keep posting. -CC (east coast)
James, I typed up a very good response to this and my internet connection went nuts on me since its always being mean to me these days at least it seems that way.....but until I can find the right words again to convey to you what I read with nonjudgmental eyes and heart in your words in this post I just wanted to tell you quickly that I am reading, and have also myself questioned how so many commit crimes that are truly unfathomable and never feel remorse or wonder when/how long or how they can ever redeem themselves and wash off that label from their long ago past mistakes that the now regret entirely. I wonder where the line is drawn between a serial killer/mass murderer who takes out an entire town or rids the world of 15-18 people in 2 yrs without being ever suspected (because they later admit they didnt care and still dont care, so their crime does not bother them, and then the media slowly makes sure to stop bugging them after 1-2 yrs and no one can harass them again much less even know what prison they are even in despite what horrible life altering (ON MANY LEVELS and FOR MANY OTHERS) crimes he has to live with and seems perfectly capable of doing so? Does that make sense? If someone like that is never expected to redeem themselves, and if they are its done by calling them crazy/insane by psychologists.....then what about lesser crimes that did not carry such evil that cant be taken back EVER in this lifetime? I just want you to know I feel where you are coming from, and the post Id written out before losing my connection online was great so I hope to type it up again shortly for you. Please know I am reading and commend you for speaking your true feelings, so I will speak mine as well. -CC
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It is a wonderful thing to work out who those special people in our lives are, that love us no matter what. Always hold them dear to you! (I know you will).
May I suggest though, for those that weren't there... would you consider the posibility that they also found themselves in an unfamiliar position with no idea what to do, or what they 'could' do to help support you.
I'm not suggesting you be-friend each and every one of your frenemies, maybe just ask the question of them 'why weren't you there' - they may have an explanation that will make some sense to you and help you leave that pain behind.
Nicki
this is your cousin, Cynthia (ReRe) thank you for sharing your story with the world. It is people like you and stories like yours that help others get through their "day to day" trials. I want you to know that you have support on the outside as I think of you often and will write as well. Please be encouraged and stay strong.
I love you Cuz
Cynthia
I hope in turn you are able to forgive a rigid system and the ignorance of many to see only your crimes and ignore your potential.
You may have once been a rapist... does it make sense to think that is all you are still, or all you are capable of, even after more than 2 decades.
Those of us on the outside have the privilidge of growing and changing over time. It is not only expected of us, but occurs naturally. Why should you not? From a sociatal perspective, I say you are not given any incentive to be anything more,unless we reach out the hand of forgiveness to you and trust that you are capable of more.
I don't live in the USA; my country sentences more fairly I believe and doesn't write people off for a lifetime because of bad decisions made in a moment. In fact one of my old school friends did two terms of imprisonment for charges of rape yet now, as a free man who has been provided with the opportunity to do better; has a stable job, a wife and family and the incentive to make good choices each and every day. It saddens me that you are not given that opportunity. We are all more than our worst act and you should be awarded the opportunity to prove that to yourself, your victim, your loved ones and society through the positive contribution I believe you are (we all are!) capable of. How do we as a society expect you to do better if we do not provide you with those opportunities? We cannot.