Billy, I’m so so sorry for the extremely late response!!! I can’t tell you how touched and honored I was to be able to be the first person you told about your two-year sobriety chip. It’s old news now for you, I’m sure, but that shouldn’t belittle its value. That’s something to really be proud of- I’m really happy for you and hope that you’re now working toward that third-year chip! I hope reading your poems in front of those tough critics in June went well as well! I’m sure it did. I continue to play the violin a lot- I even have an improvisation class that meets twice a week. It’s fun! We play along with music from all various artists, anything from Miles Davis, Duke Ellington, The Who, to Pink Floyd. I’m the only violinist and girl in the class of 16 students, but I don’t mind. My classmates all play one of the following: the drums, guitar, bass, or piano. And then there’s me on the violin. I get to really play out though, because they seem to like it. I’m glad you like the violin too. Oh, but I’m curious about one thing you said when you were talking about reading. I love to read too, but sometimes I wonder why I let myself spend the time to become knowledgeable, when there’s so much other stuff I could be doing that needs my attention. For example, if I had put one of my books down earlier, I would have been able to get back to you faster. Or I could be volunteering more. Or writing more poetry myself instead of reading poetry books- poetry made my others. I feel like the more I read the newspaper, the more I educate myself. But sometimes after sitting there for an hour after reading a great deal of that day’s newspaper, I have nothing to show for it. Maybe one day if I were on a lottery show and needed to know a recent event that had just occurred in Turkey, for example, it would be useful. But otherwise, why is reading the news that useful when I don’t seem to change much of my daily habits upon reading it. Too much of what I read is out of my hands to change. I don’t see how I can possibly change some of the behavior of the Turkish government, so…what’s the point in learning about things I can disagree with but am unable to change? Maybe you can help me as a fellow reader, to try and answer this...but it’s a really tough question that I don’t expect you to solve, don’t worry! I’ve just been wondering about it a lot recently. Anyway, back to poetry. I honestly absolutely LOVED your poem, ‘Do ya think’!!! It was incredibly powerful, most likely because it felt so personal and real. It really gives a 1286543 times deeper outlook on drugs that a sign like “Say no to drugs!” does. So, obviously that’s one amazing poem. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m afraid my poetry is not nearly as good. I’m personally more invested in my violin than my poetry. I’ve also been in a state of writer’s block lately, so that doesn’t help... (this is page 1- there's a page 2)
REALLY??? I get a uh-hey pretty lady? and no where is there a I LOVE YOU.. what's up with that? I have written you several letters and they've all been sent back not to mention I've been waiting for you to call and you haven't ( huge frown:( ) anyways.. now that I've read this I realize why they've been sent back . .. also I'm getting a post office box next week so you can write to me again and so I can respond .. cause ya know I do like getting letters from you.. and PHONE CALLS!!! my numbers still the same babe! anyways I love you and miss you also.. I hope you got my birthday card.. it hasn't been sent back yet.. and yes you should be proud of me I remembered this year and I hope you got the card on time .. big surprise coming to you for Christmas ... oh and btw.. I need a visitors form and the wardens addy again.. have to put new dates on them now.. ( my 5 years have expired ) I love you Daniel .. and I miss the sound of your voice.. something fierce. and you also have a letter on the way im mailing it Monday. so you should get it by thanksgiving.. and btw that would be a good day to call me.. hint hint ....
I have always been strongly opposed to the death penalty. Murder is murder no matter who serves it up. Proponents would argue that is saves the taxpayers money. This belief is bred by iggnorance as they seem to be unaware of the fact that is takes each individual state, years to carry out executions. Sadly, much of the country chooses to remain blind to the fact that people on death row must spend their years living in what I would consider inhumane conditions, left only to contemplate when their fate will be carried out. Furthermore, the cold, regimented way in which executions are carried out is comparable to pre-meditation. By the time a person is executed, much of the time they are a completely different person than the one who committed the crime. I stand by you in hoping for change, and I do see progress as it is my understanding some states are contemplating ending this process. Try to remain strong,continue to let your voice be heard, and I will keep you and all the others on Death Row in my thoughts and prayers.
Your poetry is beautiful, intense, and raw, It touched me, and it inspired me, Thank you for writing, You are in my thoughts, I wish you the best of luck. I finished the transcription for your post.
Hello uncle Pablo. Its been a while since weve last talk. Im sorry , i know theres no excuses. John shared this website with me. I hope this message finds you..if not back to the basics .. pen an paper. How are you? Hope all is well. I just had another baby..yes finally another boy. He was born November 7th 2013. His name is Matthew Ray Tobias. Were blessed. Ethan is now 9 , Emma is now 6 , Emilia is now 3 an Elyssa is now a year an well Matthew was just born.. Ray an i are doing real good. Working an raising our family. Cant complain life has been good to us.. im going to cut this one short. Im not sure if this letter will find you..but if so im looking forward to being able too share more messages with you:)..you take care Tio..your loved an missed.
Hey there...Oh my I have read everything you have written and I am sadden... I am glad Jt has been communicating with you... He sounds like a good person...How are you... I am trying to take some time soon, to go vist you... I miss you...I will diffently let my brother s and sisters know how to contact you through here... I love you much Uncle ... Jonathan Pina...
I'm going to be mailing out a letter to you within the next couple of days. If you don't receive it, you can write me at:
Lisa Dawson PO Box 88037 Indianapolis, IN 46208
Also thought you may be interested Solitary Watch's latest post, which features the work of a prisoner at ADX. I couldn't include the whole thing due to the character limit, but you get the gist (if you want the rest, I can mail it to you).
Take care,
Lisa
Voices from Solitary: Life in H-Unit, ADX Federal Supermax
The excerpts that follow come from a declaration by Mahmud Abouhalima, who was convicted of taking part in the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center (a charge he still denies).
* * *
Since September 11, 2001, through today, I have been in administrative detention and faced brutal and systematic mental, spiritual, and psychological cruelty. I never believed that such an unusual punishment would be extended up until today, where I have lived in a prison cell for the last ten years that is the size of a closet. I am fed like a zoo animal through a slot in the door, and manacled and chained at the hands, waist, and legs when I leave the cell. A black box with heavy lock is placed on top of my wrist chains in addition to this when I am escorted out of the unit, like to the hospital or to a visit…
Sitting in a small box in a walking distance of eight feet, this little hole becomes my world, my dining room, reading and writing area, sleeping, walking, urinating, and defecating. I am virtually living in a bathroom, and this concept has never left my mind in ten years. The toilet only works if you flush it once every five minutes, so if I press the flush button twice by mistake, I have to wait for up to an hour, with the smell of urine and defecation still there, everywhere I go, sit, stand, or sleep.
For my first four years in segregation, I kept fighting paranoia. I became suspicious of everything around me. If I heard the range door open, I stood up, feeling that they were coming to take me away, even though I didn’t expect to go anywhere. The one hour a day of rec outside the cell didn’t heal a damn thing. I struggled with myself, telling myself that maybe next month, next year it will be better and I would be out of solitary confinement. Eventually I lost all hope of getting out of segregation. I lost appetite and just wanted to sleep. This was the first time in my life that I experienced the brutality of force feeding. I also heard and saw other inmates being taken by guards and medical staff in combat gear and with cameras. Sometimes an inmate screamed so loud that I could hear him…
Daniel, I'm once again very sorry for the late reply! Thanks so much for your thoughful advice concerning my question of how best to help people. I've been doing just what you suggested- focusing on my education. And I completely agree that social work is an honor and duty.What you told me about "the system" is really interesting. I hadn't really thought of it like that before! I wonder how we could do more to prevent so many social workers from becoming so broken-spirited in the system... On a side note, I've been applying for summer internships (all of which are in America) and am hoping one of them will work out to get my foot in the door to "experience the insight I need to help make my future plans," like you told me. But I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this conversation all about me! What's new with you? I hope all is well! Thanks again, Collegekid
RSS
I’m so so sorry for the extremely late response!!! I can’t tell you how touched and honored I was to be able to be the first person you told about your two-year sobriety chip. It’s old news now for you, I’m sure, but that shouldn’t belittle its value. That’s something to really be proud of- I’m really happy for you and hope that you’re now working toward that third-year chip! I hope reading your poems in front of those tough critics in June went well as well! I’m sure it did.
I continue to play the violin a lot- I even have an improvisation class that meets twice a week. It’s fun! We play along with music from all various artists, anything from Miles Davis, Duke Ellington, The Who, to Pink Floyd. I’m the only violinist and girl in the class of 16 students, but I don’t mind. My classmates all play one of the following: the drums, guitar, bass, or piano. And then there’s me on the violin. I get to really play out though, because they seem to like it. I’m glad you like the violin too. Oh, but I’m curious about one thing you said when you were talking about reading. I love to read too, but sometimes I wonder why I let myself spend the time to become knowledgeable, when there’s so much other stuff I could be doing that needs my attention. For example, if I had put one of my books down earlier, I would have been able to get back to you faster. Or I could be volunteering more. Or writing more poetry myself instead of reading poetry books- poetry made my others. I feel like the more I read the newspaper, the more I educate myself. But sometimes after sitting there for an hour after reading a great deal of that day’s newspaper, I have nothing to show for it. Maybe one day if I were on a lottery show and needed to know a recent event that had just occurred in Turkey, for example, it would be useful. But otherwise, why is reading the news that useful when I don’t seem to change much of my daily habits upon reading it. Too much of what I read is out of my hands to change. I don’t see how I can possibly change some of the behavior of the Turkish government, so…what’s the point in learning about things I can disagree with but am unable to change? Maybe you can help me as a fellow reader, to try and answer this...but it’s a really tough question that I don’t expect you to solve, don’t worry! I’ve just been wondering about it a lot recently.
Anyway, back to poetry. I honestly absolutely LOVED your poem, ‘Do ya think’!!! It was incredibly powerful, most likely because it felt so personal and real. It really gives a 1286543 times deeper outlook on drugs that a sign like “Say no to drugs!” does. So, obviously that’s one amazing poem. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m afraid my poetry is not nearly as good. I’m personally more invested in my violin than my poetry. I’ve also been in a state of writer’s block lately, so that doesn’t help... (this is page 1- there's a page 2)
love your wifey
crystal baker
p.s. what the hell was up with that cartoon?
I have always been strongly opposed to the death penalty. Murder is murder no matter who serves it up. Proponents would argue that is saves the taxpayers money. This belief is bred by iggnorance as they seem to be unaware of the fact that is takes each individual state, years to carry out executions. Sadly, much of the country chooses to remain blind to the fact that people on death row must spend their years living in what I would consider inhumane conditions, left only to contemplate when their fate will be carried out. Furthermore, the cold, regimented way in which executions are carried out is comparable to pre-meditation. By the time a person is executed, much of the time they are a completely different person than the one who committed the crime. I stand by you in hoping for change, and I do see progress as it is my understanding some states are contemplating ending this process. Try to remain strong,continue to let your voice be heard, and I will keep you and all the others on Death Row in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen
It touched me, and it inspired me,
Thank you for writing,
You are in my thoughts,
I wish you the best of luck.
I finished the transcription for your post.
Ray an Jayliza Tobias
I hope you're holding up dude.
I'm going to be mailing out a letter to you within the next couple of days. If you don't receive it, you can write me at:
Lisa Dawson
PO Box 88037
Indianapolis, IN 46208
Also thought you may be interested Solitary Watch's latest post, which features the work of a prisoner at ADX. I couldn't include the whole thing due to the character limit, but you get the gist (if you want the rest, I can mail it to you).
Take care,
Lisa
Voices from Solitary: Life in H-Unit, ADX Federal Supermax
The excerpts that follow come from a declaration by Mahmud Abouhalima, who was convicted of taking part in the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center (a charge he still denies).
* * *
Since September 11, 2001, through today, I have been in administrative detention and faced brutal and systematic mental, spiritual, and psychological cruelty. I never believed that such an unusual punishment would be extended up until today, where I have lived in a prison cell for the last ten years that is the size of a closet. I am fed like a zoo animal through a slot in the door, and manacled and chained at the hands, waist, and legs when I leave the cell. A black box with heavy lock is placed on top of my wrist chains in addition to this when I am escorted out of the unit, like to the hospital or to a visit…
Sitting in a small box in a walking distance of eight feet, this little hole becomes my world, my dining room, reading and writing area, sleeping, walking, urinating, and defecating. I am virtually living in a bathroom, and this concept has never left my mind in ten years. The toilet only works if you flush it once every five minutes, so if I press the flush button twice by mistake, I have to wait for up to an hour, with the smell of urine and defecation still there, everywhere I go, sit, stand, or sleep.
For my first four years in segregation, I kept fighting paranoia. I became suspicious of everything around me. If I heard the range door open, I stood up, feeling that they were coming to take me away, even though I didn’t expect to go anywhere. The one hour a day of rec outside the cell didn’t heal a damn thing. I struggled with myself, telling myself that maybe next month, next year it will be better and I would be out of solitary confinement. Eventually I lost all hope of getting out of segregation.
I lost appetite and just wanted to sleep. This was the first time in my life that I experienced the brutality of force feeding. I also heard and saw other inmates being taken by guards and medical staff in combat gear and with cameras. Sometimes an inmate screamed so loud that I could hear him…
I'm once again very sorry for the late reply! Thanks so much for your thoughful advice concerning my question of how best to help people. I've been doing just what you suggested- focusing on my education. And I completely agree that social work is an honor and duty.What you told me about "the system" is really interesting. I hadn't really thought of it like that before! I wonder how we could do more to prevent so many social workers from becoming so broken-spirited in the system...
On a side note, I've been applying for summer internships (all of which are in America) and am hoping one of them will work out to get my foot in the door to "experience the insight I need to help make my future plans," like you told me. But I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this conversation all about me! What's new with you? I hope all is well!
Thanks again,
Collegekid