Ummmm,you got any coffee bro?I love Alaska...I have three children in Butte,Ak...Cody,Aaryn,Bella:)They,are so cute!Im,going back to Alaska to visit with them:)I used to live on Juneau,and Anchorage,Ak.But,as of now I live on a beautiful island called Rota...in the N.Mariana's..there's nothing but sun/fun out here...so,leave all ur problems/worries back home!Take,care James H.....ur,pal-steve A.:) larryfine1971@yahoo.com
Hi Kiyoshi! I just want to let you know that I'm still reading what you are posting on your blog. I'm happy to read something from you. It's been a while between the last post and this one. Crazy that you didn't see the circle of destruction you were in while you still had a chance to break it.
Keep your head up! There are people out here who are reading and hear what you have to say!
Ciao Rob! Thanks for your reply and your apologize is accepted! :) I did what you asked me to and wrote an email to Sonja on July 10. I hope she will write you soon. :) She did write back to me. You gonna hear from her. She said that she will write a letter and thinks of you all the time. Good luck!
I have to correct something. Gay marriage is not legal in whole Europe. It is in the following countries: Netherlands (they were first in 2000), Belgium, Spain, Norway, Sweden (where I live :) ), Portugal, Iceland, Denmark, France (recently in May 2013). In Italy it is not legal. Some other countries like Germany have some half-marriage thing, there you can be in a legal partnership but its not marriage. You don't have exactly the same rights like a married straight couple. Ok, so much about this.
I'm sorry to hear that some of you friends abandoned you this year. But you have still your family. Like I read in your posts you have a brother who cares very much and who visit you with his family. So you should be lucky!
I have a question for you. Do you made friends in prison? Is it hard to find friends among the other inmates? If yes, why do you think it is that hard? Like I can see are almost all the inmates here on "between the bars" searching for friendship. They could search for some company and support nearby in prison.
I mean if you have friends in prison than you are not alone and it should not feel like you are rotting all by yourself. Am I totally wrong here? But I understand that it feels better if you know there is someone outside the prison who truly cares or even loves you.
I have a friend in prison I care about very much. I write him every week for the last 5 months. That's how long I know him. 5 months. And I try to encourage him to continue living and not to give up his life. He is very depressed and near to give up because he has a life sentence without the chance of parole and no one left, no family, no friends nobody. And he is in solitary since almost 4 years with no end in sight. That's sad. So I try to help. I'm his Sonja, if you know what I mean. :) You are a lucky man to have YOUR Sonja. That little she wrote I could see that she must be a good person. I'm happy that I could help out to bring her back into your life.
I hope you are doing good and that you will hear from Sonja soon or even from your daughter. You never know, sometimes great things just happen without prior notice.
Keep your head up and your heart strong! Sunny greetings from Europe! Ciao, Kat
Sure, there is always some argument about the 18 year old and the 16 year old. But that's not what I'm talking about.
You will have to explore this issue more fully (and read up on the literature) in order to get some perspective about what happens to these kids later.
What I will tell you is that they have deep regrets not just at what happened, but to the loss of innocence. Many have trauma symptoms.
Often, placed in a situation that they (think) that they are ready for - but aren't - causes them to make other equally poor choices throughout their teens.
It leads to very damaging results.
If you can't find your topic in the library (and I assume that you will not find it) look up information generally on child abuse. It will give you some information about how children and teens view the world and what happens when that development is compromised.
It will also give you perspective about normative developmental phases.
This statement ("Incest usually occurs among the poorest and least educated members of society") has no basis in fact. Incest happens in families from all socioeconomic backgrounds. So does sexual abuse.
It has nothing to do with money or intellect.
I read this following statement as equally problematic: "So you have to ask yourself, would a loving father seek to harm his daughter or jeopardise his relationship with her by soliciting her for sex?.."
It's true, his love is not love. But it's missing the point about why men (in this case) exploit children. They do it because they can.
It's about power.
Fathers are supposed to protect children.
Adults are supposed to protect children.
I read this post along with your post challenging the consent laws - and your general interest in letting children/teens make decisions about relationships with adults.
We protect children because children do not always make the best decisions for themselves. Sometimes they are impulsive. Sometimes, in the case of sexually exploitative relationships, they imagine that they have an equal relationship (equal in terms of power) as an adult.
They do not. The adult has power. The adult can persuade a child many things.
If they are successful, and the child says yes, that doesn't make it right.
You seem to think that girls and boys should be empowered to make up their own minds about having an adult relationship (with an adult). I see in this post that you disagree with incest, but think that people who commit this crime (and it is committed by women, as well, though statistically less often) will somehow stop if they are asked/taught.
Let's address this first: very smart people (and very dumb people) are sexually abusive. They rationalize their behavior (it was love; I was teaching him/her about love).
There are thousands of rationalizations for people who commit these crimes.
I assume that you will have time to explore this issue more fully (you wrote somewhere that you are on papers when released). So, I expect that there will be some condition about this topic.
In the meantime, I urge you to explore the literature more fully. You say that you read a lot. Read up on abuse.
For the record, I have worked with these women. The consequences of incest and sexual abuse are very damaging. Women often feel as though they gave consent (or were responsible for what happened). This ADDS to their guilt and we work though this in treatment.
I have worked with girls who thought that their adult partner was a partner -- when it happened.
But you see, I worked with them years later - as they were trying to pick up their lives. When they were older they realized what happened and the consequences for their lives.
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post. Never wish you hadn't been born, by writing on this site you are giving people an insight that could help in the future, your life is not wasted.
RSS
I just want to let you know that I'm still reading what you are posting on your blog. I'm happy to read something from you. It's been a while between the last post and this one. Crazy that you didn't see the circle of destruction you were in while you still had a chance to break it.
Keep your head up! There are people out here who are reading and hear what you have to say!
Best wishes!
Kat, smiling at you :)
Thanks for your reply and your apologize is accepted! :)
I did what you asked me to and wrote an email to Sonja on July 10. I hope she will write you soon. :) She did write back to me. You gonna hear from her. She said that she will write a letter and thinks of you all the time. Good luck!
I have to correct something. Gay marriage is not legal in whole Europe. It is in the following countries: Netherlands (they were first in 2000), Belgium, Spain, Norway, Sweden (where I live :) ), Portugal, Iceland, Denmark, France (recently in May 2013). In Italy it is not legal. Some other countries like Germany have some half-marriage thing, there you can be in a legal partnership but its not marriage. You don't have exactly the same rights like a married straight couple. Ok, so much about this.
I'm sorry to hear that some of you friends abandoned you this year. But you have still your family. Like I read in your posts you have a brother who cares very much and who visit you with his family. So you should be lucky!
I have a question for you. Do you made friends in prison? Is it hard to find friends among the other inmates? If yes, why do you think it is that hard? Like I can see are almost all the inmates here on "between the bars" searching for friendship. They could search for some company and support nearby in prison.
I mean if you have friends in prison than you are not alone and it should not feel like you are rotting all by yourself. Am I totally wrong here?
But I understand that it feels better if you know there is someone outside the prison who truly cares or even loves you.
I have a friend in prison I care about very much. I write him every week for the last 5 months. That's how long I know him. 5 months. And I try to encourage him to continue living and not to give up his life. He is very depressed and near to give up because he has a life sentence without the chance of parole and no one left, no family, no friends nobody. And he is in solitary since almost 4 years with no end in sight. That's sad. So I try to help. I'm his Sonja, if you know what I mean. :) You are a lucky man to have YOUR Sonja. That little she wrote I could see that she must be a good person. I'm happy that I could help out to bring her back into your life.
I hope you are doing good and that you will hear from Sonja soon or even from your daughter. You never know, sometimes great things just happen without prior notice.
Keep your head up and your heart strong!
Sunny greetings from Europe!
Ciao, Kat
P.S. I looked at your facebook page. :)
You will have to explore this issue more fully (and read up on the literature) in order to get some perspective about what happens to these kids later.
What I will tell you is that they have deep regrets not just at what happened, but to the loss of innocence. Many have trauma symptoms.
Often, placed in a situation that they (think) that they are ready for - but aren't - causes them to make other equally poor choices throughout their teens.
It leads to very damaging results.
If you can't find your topic in the library (and I assume that you will not find it) look up information generally on child abuse. It will give you some information about how children and teens view the world and what happens when that development is compromised.
It will also give you perspective about normative developmental phases.
JT
It has nothing to do with money or intellect.
I read this following statement as equally problematic: "So you have to ask yourself, would a loving father seek to harm his daughter or jeopardise his relationship with her by soliciting her for sex?.."
It's true, his love is not love. But it's missing the point about why men (in this case) exploit children. They do it because they can.
It's about power.
Fathers are supposed to protect children.
Adults are supposed to protect children.
I read this post along with your post challenging the consent laws - and your general interest in letting children/teens make decisions about relationships with adults.
We protect children because children do not always make the best decisions for themselves. Sometimes they are impulsive. Sometimes, in the case of sexually exploitative relationships, they imagine that they have an equal relationship (equal in terms of power) as an adult.
They do not. The adult has power. The adult can persuade a child many things.
If they are successful, and the child says yes, that doesn't make it right.
You seem to think that girls and boys should be empowered to make up their own minds about having an adult relationship (with an adult). I see in this post that you disagree with incest, but think that people who commit this crime (and it is committed by women, as well, though statistically less often) will somehow stop if they are asked/taught.
Let's address this first: very smart people (and very dumb people) are sexually abusive. They rationalize their behavior (it was love; I was teaching him/her about love).
There are thousands of rationalizations for people who commit these crimes.
I assume that you will have time to explore this issue more fully (you wrote somewhere that you are on papers when released). So, I expect that there will be some condition about this topic.
In the meantime, I urge you to explore the literature more fully. You say that you read a lot. Read up on abuse.
For the record, I have worked with these women. The consequences of incest and sexual abuse are very damaging. Women often feel as though they gave consent (or were responsible for what happened). This ADDS to their guilt and we work though this in treatment.
I have worked with girls who thought that their adult partner was a partner -- when it happened.
But you see, I worked with them years later - as they were trying to pick up their lives. When they were older they realized what happened and the consequences for their lives.
Adults are adults.
Children are children.
(con't)