Yea unfortunately this "warfare state of mind" is a normal thing for many people in the world...it is a good thing to be alert about things that happen around you, but i think there is a difference between a calm alertness, and the state of mind where you always expect something bad to happen in the next second. The type of alertness I have when I walk alone on a dark street at night. You are right, it is amazing what the human mind can adapt to.
It's a sad thing that prison seems to be the place where all the doctors go that con't make it anywhere else. Just because you go to prison shouldn't mean that you should loose all your rights as a human being, which includes the right to receive adequate medical care, but I guess this is exactly what happens. There are lots of doctors even out here who do it just for the money and do not enjoy their profession one little bit. Many times they actually work together with the drug companies and just prescribe people as many drugs as possible to make profit. They do things like putting little kids on psychiatric drugs when the parents report they are acting unusual or are hard to deal with. It is ridiculous. You could say, I have lost much faith in doctors and general so I am actually not surprised that the situation is even worse in prison. Probably the best thing to do is to try and do everything possible to avoid the need for a doctor, even if this is not always possible, especially in a situation like prison, but you can still try to avoid the worst junk food, exercise and keep a positive mind set which goes a long way in keeping the body healthy as well (I have made myself sick from stress before- the mind is a powerful thing).
(I'm not suggesting that you are - just responding to what someone can do when they are caught up in the system).
I've worked in prison as a counselor. I know how bad the system can be - but I have to say that I cared enormously about my men and women (I've worked in both male and female prisons).
Every once in awhile a name pops into my head or I hear a name on the radio that is close to a name I know. And I wonder how so-and-so is doing.
So, I look them up. (Well, I only ever look up to see if they've been arrested again. Anymore than that is intrusive).
The thing is, more often than not, they have. It's heartbreaking to think of all those men a and women who blew yet another chance. The last name that popped into my head belongs to a man who was just sentenced to 15 years.
He was out of prison only a few weeks. He was young, smart, handsome. And he had a young child that he said he wanted to help raise.
When he next sees his son, the boy will be a young man. It's heartbreaking.
I know that prison is unfair and dangerous. But all you can do is what you can do yourself.
A very wise client of mine, from a few years ago, once said of her 'incident' (that put her in prison) - that she had to remind herself everyday that she had already forgiven herself for what happened.
And then she moved on with her day.
I think that, over time, it will come up more gently - the guilt less severe.
I remember what she said because we all (the rest of my group) were so struck by what she said: we thought that she had forgiven herself and it never came up again.
It still did, and her daily reminder was a way to help her practice forgiveness.
Mercy, I think, is like that, too. It's what we want from others; but really it is only what we can offer. Mercy is a state of mind, a habit. It is what we offer ourselves in the morning and practice throughout the day.
Mercy is what you offer the mailperson when they come late. The checkout perso, who is frustrated and new and packs your eggs on the bottom of the bag (yes, that happened just recently!)
Where you have been living, mercy is what you show your bunkie, perhaps, when they step on your bunk getting up to the top. Or the person who cuts in front of you in line in the chow hall.
Little things, that are opportunities for anger or mercy.
I think when we (all) get really good at mercy - and compassion - we see it everywhere.
hi hi hi... it's been a while! I'm in Illinos visiting my friend George. I'm astonished you're in the Hole!! Can you tell me in short why that is!! I's so sorry to hear it...
RSS
(I'm not suggesting that you are - just responding to what someone can do when they are caught up in the system).
I've worked in prison as a counselor. I know how bad the system can be - but I have to say that I cared enormously about my men and women (I've worked in both male and female prisons).
Every once in awhile a name pops into my head or I hear a name on the radio that is close to a name I know. And I wonder how so-and-so is doing.
So, I look them up. (Well, I only ever look up to see if they've been arrested again. Anymore than that is intrusive).
The thing is, more often than not, they have. It's heartbreaking to think of all those men a and women who blew yet another chance. The last name that popped into my head belongs to a man who was just sentenced to 15 years.
He was out of prison only a few weeks. He was young, smart, handsome. And he had a young child that he said he wanted to help raise.
When he next sees his son, the boy will be a young man. It's heartbreaking.
I know that prison is unfair and dangerous. But all you can do is what you can do yourself.
That's what I told them my job was: to have hope.
JT
And then she moved on with her day.
I think that, over time, it will come up more gently - the guilt less severe.
I remember what she said because we all (the rest of my group) were so struck by what she said: we thought that she had forgiven herself and it never came up again.
It still did, and her daily reminder was a way to help her practice forgiveness.
Mercy, I think, is like that, too. It's what we want from others; but really it is only what we can offer. Mercy is a state of mind, a habit. It is what we offer ourselves in the morning and practice throughout the day.
Mercy is what you offer the mailperson when they come late. The checkout perso, who is frustrated and new and packs your eggs on the bottom of the bag (yes, that happened just recently!)
Where you have been living, mercy is what you show your bunkie, perhaps, when they step on your bunk getting up to the top. Or the person who cuts in front of you in line in the chow hall.
Little things, that are opportunities for anger or mercy.
I think when we (all) get really good at mercy - and compassion - we see it everywhere.
It takes time. But all habits take time.
JT
hi hi hi... it's been a while! I'm in Illinos visiting my friend George. I'm astonished you're in the Hole!! Can you tell me in short why that is!!
I's so sorry to hear it...
a big hug from Rita!