June 11, 2013

Nicki,

First I would like to send my appreciation and thanks for commenting with genuine emotions in response to my piece, Together We Stand, that I wrote on the NewTown shooting. I can't even begin to describe the emotions that coursed? their way through my being at that moment. I was horrified. I understand that it was months ago, but I'm sure for the parents and family of the deceased, it's still that day. In their minds, every time they think of their children - bright innocent children - a vivid picture of sending them off to school with the best intentions painted and engrained into their memory.

You said that you were waiting for the shift in my words towards gun control or my feelings towards the perpetrator of that senseless crime. I have thought about what you said for quite some time. First, I must apologise for having taking so long to respond. In some way, I felt I had no place stating my opinion because I too committed such a 'senseless crime' against humanity. Albeit, no one died in the process, I know I killed dreams and murdered hopes. That's something I can never give back. And for that, I felt for me to speak ill about the perpetrator would be hypocritical. The more I thought on it, I still sort of feel that way, but I also know the person who did some of the horrible things I did is not me any more. I'm a better human being and can never see myself heading down that road ever again. I know this still doesn't answer your question, but I'm sure you can understand my point of view.

As for gun control. My viewpoint will make many American's upset, but I speak only from 'MY' experience. I'm no scholar or anything, so it's just my opinion. I think the Gun Control Bill Obama tried to pass was a joke. He had some good points, but as long as there's Republicans running the Senate, nothing with guns will ever be passed. In 2008, I saw with my own eyes how handguns ruined my community. Kids as young as twelve and eleven had guns and were running around shooting and killing anything that got in their path. I know because I was one of them. At seventeen, I was impressed by the amount of power I felt when I possessed a gun. The bigger the better.

I'm not bragging about my past, but I think for you know who I am and what I base my opinions off, you need to know who I was. My whole argument is this: the republicans win by saying that Obama is trying to take their guns away. And no-one is going for that. Even though he wants to limit the amount of bullets put into a magazine. In that part, I agree. The right to bear arms is in our Constitution, but what do you need thirty or forty bullets for?

The argument I've heard is that weapons are used for hunting. But it seems no one sees the ignorance in that statement. What do I mean, you're wondering. Well, first, no one uses AR-15's to hunt in the first place. Second, when you hunt, it's more of a sport. Waiting patiently for a deer to come galloping pass and then you take your shot. Which means one shot. Anything more will ruin the catch. I'm no hunter and have never been a day in my life, so maybe people can say I don't understand. But anyone using the ten percent of the brain as they say we use will see the logic in my statements.

As for the social structure in the USA, that's another story entirely. I don't even know where to begin on that one. That'll take another post, maybe three. No need to jump ahead, so I'll wait to see what's your response to this post.

Before I leave and close this one, I want to thank you for taking the time to reach out and give your opinion about my blog. I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that my words provoked something in you to make you feel the need to write a comment. Your belief that 'we should never give up on each other', validates my actions to seek change. For quite some time my doubts like 'why should I change, I can just bide my time until they open those doors,' or 'no one cares whether I change or not', have become almost unbearable, but your words and sentiment sparked something in me. The muse in me has been relit and it's all thanks to you. And yes, you are very right because I am a living testament. I've always told my mom that I'm who I am today because of the people who've come into my life at just the right moment, and now you are one of them.

Thank Between The Bars too, because without them, none of this would be possible for someone like me.

Blessing and peace to all.
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