Edwin Jay Hutchison
P-68859/2-N-79L/CSP-SQ
San Quentin, CA 94964

September 2, 2013

Read what you should read. See what you should see. Act as you should act. Feel what you should feel. Until you can do all these things. Follow the "guide". When you can do this things, you will not have to be told- Follow the "guide".
-quote by Omar Khayyam

Hello world,

It's me again! [smiley face] May the peace and blessings of our creator, whom I call "Allah", be upon you as you read my thoughts.

When I first came across the above quote, it reminded me of my parents. My father died while I was imprisoned on August 16, 2005. When I left home at the age of 19 to strike out on my own. I recall how my parents tried their best to guide me in the right directions. Sometimes I listened, often I didn't, but I did "follow their guide" in many ways.

My parents raised me to play, be adventurous, to have fun, to indulge my sense of wonder, to live as much as possible without worry and without fear, and to live in the moment with little concern for the future; in short, to trust in God and to believe that I, like everyone else, am here for a purpose. They taught me to be as grateful for my shortcomings and limitations as for my many talents and blessings, because both are a part of a "divine design" beyond my narrow comprehension. They recognized the need for me to learn self-discipline, which is why they encourage me to enlist into the U.S. military (I was always a "free-spirited" child), and, of course, develop respect for others. But, in fact, little did I know back then that those things come naturally when you have a divine connection with one creator of all things and you truly believe that your life has a "spiritual" dimension, that you are a carefully designed element in the mysterious mosaic of life.

Somewhere in my twenty-somethings, I lost my divine connection with God and I encountered life's only obstacle and opponent- "fear". I had doubts about myself, I became anxious about so many things, and when I felt myself weakening or wavering, my anxiety became dread. So to cope with these feelings, I turned to alcohol and drugs. As a result, I began making rash decisions in my life because I dismissed the last teachings my parents gave me: hope and trust. Prior to this incarceration, I insisted on telling myself that most of "life" shouldn't be taken seriously. Relentlessly viewing my life as some kind of "cosmic joke". Today, I realize that was not really a wise strategy for living. I made a lot of mistakes because I didn't [underlined] "follow the guide".

As my journey in this thing we call "life" has taken me down many paths, a few dark alleys, and some dead-end roads; I've acquired a new "map" to help me continue on my travels- the Holy Qu'ran. I am so grateful for this "guide".

Even though I still have a long way to go, because I am far from being "perfect", I have developed my own four (4) guiding principles over these past fourteen years of imprisonment:

1.) Do as little harm to others as possible;

2.) Be there always for my family and friends;

3.) Be responsible for myself and ask nothing of others in prison; and

4.) Grab all the fun that I can! [smiley face]

I also put no stock in the opinions of anyone except those closest to me. I've forgotten about trying to "leave my mark on the world". I ignore the great issues of this world and in doing so, I've vastly improved my digestion. [smiley face] I don't dwell in the past and I don't worry about the future. I concentrate on "living in the moment". I trust in the purpose of my existence and I allow its meaning to come to me instead of straining to discover it. And when life throws me a hard punch, I roll with it- but I try to roll with laughter.

Peace...
Jakee

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