10/7/11
STR8 BUSTED!!

[Print out of multiple Facebook comments with written author commentary. Date and times will be omitted. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. Author comments will be noted in the transcript as "A:"]
James Miller: I don't need ya'lls talk, ya'll don't know the old me. everybody gettin off tellin me what it is. i ain't had no ass this week and this nigga aint waiting.
A: You out of line STR8 ↑!

Pamela Mitchell Miller: you just wrong!!! you aint changed nigga
A: So right

Lori Mendez MsBeautifull: left your phone at my place this morning. last night was great. if u want more then stop punishing me and get over here. Im at the nest.
A: Oh yeah?! Well... hope it wuz worth it 'cause as Chris Brown say, "Dueces"

One deep—
Frances Nicole Whitlock

===

OMG... Straight Fucking Played
Man, I knew that I knew something was fucked up but I didn't want to believe that I could be a fool. Proof in hand, it stands. I got uber real, for real, played.

You call yourself a minister of God, but you straight broke your word to me. Nigga, you fuckin'! You crashed at a broad's crib, left your phone... And you got the nerve to rip on me. Now whatcha mad about was I was pimpin' that. Now it's in my face. I'm stunned. You hide behind the word of God and check me, but you out doing some foul ass shit—just like one of my baby's dads. The difference between you and them—they man up and tell me that's what they doin'. No wonder you can't never help me out. You too busy looking out for you.

You see, there's a difference between me and you. I don't sell or chase pipe dreams. My nigga, I'ma real go getta. I've had mo' money that I know what to do with at times. You talk about wanting to fuck on a pile of money. Been there several times over.

I got a sharp mind and I seen this shit coming. I just didn't want to believe it. You tell me you love me, but you creeping with Ms. Beautiful. Please, miss me with excuses. You know you bowl for this, don't you. What, you think that I'd never find out and it'd be cleaned up by the time I land!? I'm on my way less than 50 days, and you pull this stunt!? Man, what a keeper.

Naw, man, fo' real. What the fuck were you thinking? Yeah, yo' ass been busy alright. Lying, scheming, and cheating. Damn that cold! Here I am willing to ride or die wit'cha and you do me dirt. Do you still deserve my loyalty? Do you even deserve my heart? Man, the game is cold! So, your letters were lies. Your emotions, what?

What, she just a piece of ass until I get home to be the minister's wife? You supposed to be an associate pastor and fucking someone you ain't married to is a sin. You called yourself my husband until about 6-8 weeks ago... that was when you started fucking— [paper bent so illegible]

—you been doing this? Come on, I'm a woman. I'm used to a man's doggish ways. I trusted you. I believed you. For what? For fucking what? To have your ho tendencies to be put on the Internet for all the world to see. Your sister said you ain't changed. She would know.

You took this as a game, and one you've played very well. I'll give you that. I'ma even let you make it. Man, I don't want to NOT by a long shot, but I'm going to. You got your one. Damn, you did that. Worse, you did me. A fool for you.

But do remember this: I'ma be a "G" till the day that I die. I don't pretend to be something in the church and be something else in the yard. Naw, I am me. I am independent thinker, loving, compassionate, and real. I'm ready to do this. I got more game than the game on the streets.

See, you should've asked someone about me. They'd told you that! I got my hands in things that will help me live comfortable. I was so will to share my life, my dreams, and a future with you. Now... I am thinking you don't deserve a woman like me. I'll be sure Nakia sees this before I post it. I guess you were never my man. You too busy being other people's man. Damn, that sux!

See, I already got things out there for me to start off with. I don't need a man, but I wanted you. Crazy, huh! You ain't living right, James, not by what this says. What did you expect I'd say? Or were you hoping I wouldn't find out? Really???

OK, let me put something down you wrote me:
"And you asked if someone out here has my attention? Please! You can miss me with that weak as game. If somebody else out there had my attention you wouldn't be getting anymore letters from me."

What do you call sleeping over and fucking someone else... Huh?!

Naw, my game ain't never been weak. Wanna know why? 'Cause I ain't never been weak. Not by a long shot.

Okay, let's go to this:
"You asked me what's important to me. Let me be real with me. As far as you and I are concerned, it's important to me that you conduct yourself as a minsters wife should, because if you don't then I'm not supposed to be qualified to be an associate minister in my church. Do I need to send you a list of things I think you should do when you first get out?"

Does me being a minister's wife mean I accept your lies and your affairs? You're supposed to be in a relationship with me, and you scheming... Those are affairs. It's adultery!

This is the kicker. Hold on, hold on! I got to stop laughing:
"Frances, I don't understand how you can't see that I love you very deeply."

Yeah, me either.

"You can't have a wife that argues with you about everything."

I'm not arguing. Shhh... don't talk. Just listen. I'm not naive by a long shot. You feel me?

I've been abused by men all my life. I'm strong and I've survived. So let's get something straight: I see what you doing you out there. It looks good on ya!

I'm 32 fixing to turn 33. I'm going to come. I'm believing in the God I serve. I'ma pull me together. Take care of my business. I'm not gonna lick my wounds. Naw, pain that raw motivates me. I'm motivated in a MAJOR way! Holla, when... you... feel... me...

Okay, so time to pick up my heart and straight carry it through. Damn, I'm stunned! Cold part is I'm all out of tears. Maybe... maybe... maybe... Naw, nothing! You have me to the point where I'm so numb, there's nothing.

Stand up like you know you can
Shine like the jewel you are
Walk tall like u the man
Smile like u a movie star
Ur what u think
So ACT LIKE IT

Deuces One Deep,
Darlin' Nikkie

betnot22@yahoo.com
Up and Out Dec. 2011