FEBRUARY 19, 2016
BTB FAN CLUB,
WHAT'S HAPPENING? IT SEEMS LIKE IT HAS BEEN AGES SINCE WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO CONNECT. YEAH, IT'S BEEN WHAT, A YEAR, YEAR AND A HALF? NO MATTER THE TIME, OR ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER, ALL I'M FOCUSSED ON IS FINDING OUT WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH YOU! YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. MY LOYAL FANS WHO'VE REACHED OUT TO ME WHEN YOU DIDN'T HEAR FROM ME. AND TO THOSE WHO ARE NEW TO THE SITE AND ARE JUST READING MY WORDS, THOUGHTS, AND IDEAS FOR THE FIRST TIME. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I'M GREATFUL FOR BTB FOR THEIR NEVER ENDING FIGHT TO CREAT JUST A PLACE FOR PEEOPLE, PRISONERS ESPECIALLY, TO INTERACT WITH THE WORLD. THE PEOPLE WHO STILL HAVE HEARTS AND KNOW THAT A RECORD OR MISTAKE DOESN'T DEFIND A PERSON FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE UNLESS HE CONTINUES TO MAKE SAID SAME MISTAKES OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KNOW WHAT I MEAN? AND TO THOSE WHO CARE, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
WHERE DO I BEGIN? SO MUCH HAS TRANSPIRED SINCE WE'VE LAST SPOKEN THAT THERE'S.... IT'S JUST SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO GIVE IT ALL UP TO YOU ON OUR FIRST DATE. OR IS THIS NOT ONE? :) NO, SERIOUSLY, THOUGH. TO GIVE YOU A QUICK SYNOPSIS: MY LIFE HAS COME 'ROUND FULL CIRCLE. BY MY LAST MISSIVE OR POST, I HAD NOT BEEN A PUBLISHED AUTHOR. WELL.... WAIT FOR IT....... WAIT FOR IT..... NOW I AM. I AM PROUD TO TELL YOU THAT THE PRISONS FOUNDATION HAS SELECTED AND PUBLISHED MY TOME FOR ALL TO SEE ON THEIR WEBSITE. NO, I AM NOT RICH.... YET! BUT I CAN ONLY SURMISE THAT ONCE THE WORLD SEES WHAT I'M WORKING WITH IN THE ARSENAL OF CREATING PROSE, I'M SURE SOMEONE'LL COME'A KNOCKING ;)
I HAVE RECEIEVED A LETTER FROM MY NOW NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. FOR THOSE WHO READ MY POST REGULARLY BEFORE THE HIATUS, YOU KNOW THAT MY DAUGHTER'S MOTHER AND I DIDN'T HAVE THE BEST OF RELATIONSHIPS. I'LL JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT. ANYHO, MY, THEN 8 YEAR OLD, DAUGHTER HAD WRITTING ME A LETTER SAYING HOW SHE MISSED ME AND HOW SHE WANT TO SEE ME. I CAN TELL YOU KNOW, IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN AWAY FROM SOMEONE WHO MEANS THE WORLD TO YOU, FOR A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME AND ARE CLUELESS/POWERLESS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, THEN YOU MAY NEVER KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY THAT NOTHING IN TH EWORLD FELT SWEETER THEN READING THAT SMALL HUMAN'S WORDS. I IMAGINED WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE. WHAT SHE SOUNDED LIKE WHEN SHE LAUGHED. WHAT WAY HAD SHE WORN HER HAIR. ALL OF THESE VISIONS HAVE HAUNTED MY PSYCHE FOR SO LONG THAT TO HAVE SOMETHING, ANYTHING THAT CONNECTED ME WITH HER, WAS OVERWHELMING.
I PACED AND NEARLY WALKED A HOLE INTO MY 6X9 CELL. ONLY TO GET IN THE MAIL A WEEK LATER A NOTICE OF CHILD SUPPORT. TO SAY THE LEAST, MY HIGH WAS SHORT LIVED. THE BALLOON I HAD BREATHED LIFE INTO WAS SHOT OUT OF THE SKY BY A SUPPORT OF CHILDCARE ARROW. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I TOOK THE TEST AND WAS TOLD THAT THE PROBABILITY OF ME, MICAHEL TARRELL MCTHUNE, BEING THE FATHER OF MA'KIYA CLAYBORN WAS 0,000000%. YEAH, I WAS CRUSHED. UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T THINK I HNDLES THE NEWS GOOD, BECAUSE I ACTED OUT. THO' I CAN SAY THAT LOOK BACK NOW AND AM COGNIZANT OF THE FACT THAT IT WORKED OUT BETTER FOR ME IN THE LONG RUN THAN IT EVER COULD'VE. WE'LL RETURN BACK TO ALL OF THIS, I'M SURE YOU ALL WON'T LET ME OFF THE HOOK ON THIS ONE.
UMMM.... LET'S SEE. I CURRECTLY HOLD EMPLOYMENT IN THE BAKERY. NO, I DON'T DO MUCH MIXING OR ANYTHING. THEY GAVE ME THE JOB OF RUNING THE OVEN. SO YES, I THINK IT'S ONE ONE THE MOST IMPORTANT JOBS BECAUSE IF I BURN EVERYTHING AFTER PEOPLE HAVE PUT IN ALL OF THE TEDIOUS HARD WORK OF SCALING AND WEIGHING INGREDIENTS, THEN THE THOUSAND OR SO INMATES HERE WON'T HAVE ANY DESERTS OR BREAD FOR THEIR MEALS. AND THE ONE THING MEN AND WOMEN FOR THAT MATTER IN PRISON HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO IS THEIR THREE HOTS AND A COT :) I'M ENJOYING SEE THINGS TURNOUT AFTER A LOT OF PAINSTAKING WORK. IT ONLY REINFORCES THE PRINCIPALS THAT I'M TRYING TO INSTALL IN MYSELF.
I MAY BE GOING DOWN TO MEDIUM SOON. WHICH IS A LOWER SECURITY PLACE FOR ME TO BE HOUSED. I LOOK FORWARD TO IT. I WON'T MENTION ABOUT MY FIRST EXPERIENCE INSIDE OF THAT TYPE OF ENVIRONMENT. NA, IT WAS OKAY. SO I WOULDN'T MIND GIVING IT ANOTHER TRY.
STARTING THIS LETTER/POST, IT BEGAN WITH SO MUCH PROMISE. I HAD SO MANY THINGS TO SAY, BUT NOW THAT I'VE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR FORTY-FIVE MINUTES, SLEEP SEEMS TO HAVE SNUCK UP ON ME. SO I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER. TAKE CARE AND CONTINUE TO STRIVE TO BE YOUR BEST SELF.
YOU'RE ON A DAY IN THE LIFE WITH ME!
PO BOX 19033
GREEN BAY, WI 54307
P.S TO VIEW, READ, AND DOWNLOAD MY FIRST PUBLISHED NOVEL, "ONE ROOT/ONE EVIL", PLEASE GO TO: WWW.PRISONFOUNDATION.ORG AND LOOK FOR IT. I CAN GURANTEE YOU IT WILL BE A MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING WHAT YOU THINK. YOUR OPINIONS MATTER.
2019 feb 13
2019 feb 9
2018 apr 21
2018 apr 4
2018 feb 23
2017 aug 13
I really don't know why I'm doing this but I'm not going to be at peace until I close this chapter of my life
Do you remember August 2nd 2008
I remember it every step of the way every word spoken if you forgot let me help you remember this was the day that you raped me at gun point in a open garage.
I used to hate you so bad for years I told my husband I wanted to find out where you were so that I could look you in the face just to show you the pain I indured I was jumped by your family everyday I was pregnant they didn't care that went on until you got sentenced I had to quit my job because I was terrified to even go outside you really caused me a lot of damage
I always told myself I was a survivor because you didn't kill me but sometimes I wish you would have every Aug 2 to this day I have to take off work because it's to much to bare but I know God would never give me something I couldn't handle
I don't even know how to close this letter so I'll just say nothing
You are so brave to have posted. I hope you have all the support and help you need. From what I can see - you have indeed 'handled' it very well.
You have my respect,