Transcription
Love, Hate, Violence, Murder. When is Enough, Enough?
SUNDAY JUNE 12, 2016: 11:00 AM: Listening to: Your smile by Rene & Angela
Waking up & turning on the news today, I learned of a mass murder attack on a gay night club in Florida. I don't care if they were gay, straight, young, or old. Over 50 people murdered for no reason by Omar Saddiqui Mateen.
Then after that story, I learned of a beautiful young woman named Christina Grimmie. She was a 22 year old singer who was on The Voice at one time. Such a pretty young girl who had her whole life ahead of her. Some low-life stalker followed her on Twitter, went to an autograph signing, pulled a gun & shot & killed this poor young woman. I say woman, but I see a young girl, a child, who was in the prime of her life.
Look, I'm in prison for murder. I have never denied my crime. I know murder happens, as much as we don't want it to. It happens every single day. But to have so much hate in your body that you go out & murder 50+ people, I just cannot fathom the level of hatred in that man's heart.
When does the violence end? When is enough, enough? When do we finally say no more killing? But what do you do with the killers? Do you lock them up for life? Do you allow the state to murder them? Or do you put them in prison & see if they can ever change? Does anyone have the right answer? I am no hypocrite; I believe in all 3. I believe in the death penalty. I believe in life sentences & I believe in redemption, change, & second chances. But not everyone does. So what do you believe in?
I am so sick of turning on the TV & seeing women, children, & mass murder. But I know many people in prison that would never re-offend, let alone take another life. Should they forfeit their lives because they stole life from another? Should this always be the rule? Does their age matter? How they grew up? Does anything from their childhood matter? Should any of it be considered when you, the people, decide if they should live or die?
Our penal system gives citizens the right to play God. It allows them to choose if an individual who took a life should also be killed by the state. So in a sense, you are chosen to decide what only God should. But it is a complicated issue that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Some people want it. They want revenge, payback; they want to be the decider. My life was spared because an elderly black woman refused to vote to kill me. There was no changing her mind.
In this age, what do we do? Do we murder every murderer? Do we return to Biblical times, a life for a life? Or do we lock them up forever until they die of cancer, disease, sickness, old age? Or do we give them time to change, become better human beings & then give them one more chance? Does anyone deserve a second chance? I leave that up to you to judge, to decide, to discuss with me.
On a final note, I would like for a woman who reads this named Marianne Danielsen to please contact me. Your email is blocked so I am unable to respond.
I wish everyone a great summer. Get out, get tanned, enjoy the beach, enjoy your family. What we do matters. Touch the life of a stranger, show an act of kindness. I learned all of this too late in life. God bless, ciao.
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Replies (26)
I think it's really hard to decide punishment for murderers. But I want to believe that most people deserve a second chance.
A crime of passion for instance where an individual walks in on their significant other with someone else. An individual who witnesses someone harming a child. Too many examples to list.
Second chances are deserved if they truly regret what they did immediately following the action. Time should still be served, society repaid. A second chance should be offered to those people.
You went beyond murder though. Desecrating a corpse, burglarizing the victim, and ultimately getting caught in his car.
The woman that refused to change her mind at your trial chose incorrectly. It's sad that our tax dollars will still feed you for years to come.
Every bit of pain you feel while incarcerated is deserved. Every loss you experience is deserved.
Numbers 14:18... It applies here. Sunce you used God in your post (a theme so often used by criminals with no other actual options), it feels appropriate o give you a little verse to work your mind around.
Much to the surprise of many who, logically, would assume that shortening someone's life should be cheaper than paying for it until natural expiration, it turns out that it is actually cheaper to imprison someone for life than to execute them. In fact, it is almost 10 times cheaper!" Greetings Robert, Julia
And hello prison employees who read this!:D They do, right? At least that's what i heard.
Oh, just to clarify: I'm female. I tend to forget sometimes that men can also have my name because I only know female "Jamies", sorry. :)
Well, if you want to get more mail from me you certainly will. I'm bad at not-fullfilling wishes. :P
Mhh, thanks for telling me that story. Of course it doesn't really justify his death, but I think it's important to know the full story, not just the "murder"-part.
Your past self sounds like someone I would not have liked, haha. Would probably have scared me.
But actually, after reading your letter I definitly think you I'd give you a second chance. 18-years is such a long time.. And anyone who says people can't/don't change is wrong. Of course, not everyone changes, but some people do! And often they just need a little help.
And maybe you should just ignore Maggie. I understand that she is angry - it seems like she knew your victim. But in her anger she is looking at the thing just from one side and doesn't care about who you are now.
I think your childhood/teenage years actually matter a lot.
When I grow up I kind of want to become a child psychiatrist or something like that. Well, my parents say I'm probably too sensitive for that and that it would be too much pain for me. Could be. But I want to help. You said society never really gave you a chance. But what if someone had cared and listened to you? And gave you a chance? Do you think that would have changed your life now? I want to be that person. Well actually I'd like to change the whole system but what can a young girl do against the world..~
I look forward to hearing from you,
Jamie
Ron was born the same year as the release of gone with the wind and wizard of oz... An issue he was oddly proud of.
His favorite color... That one may be difficult, he liked flamboyant colors in his wardrobe, and I probably can't answer.
His brother was Bill (William). He owned an insurance agency over at Oxford Valley Mall, and his girlfriend at the time owned a barbecue place in bucks county... The name of which escapes me. He also owned the car that you stole after you killed and dismembered Ron. Bill bought it for him, as he was having financial issues. His cousin is a published conservative author/analyst.
Ron originally lived in that apartment with his mom. At the end, she was pretty much an invalid. He had a string of roommates in there after she passed, some for short periods, one guy for a few years.
You deserve every ounce of pain, and I will take personal pleasure in every sad post you make. The penal system is designed exactly for the dregs of society like you. Lock them up, throw away the key, and let them rot. Innocent people deserve a second chance. You deserve a life of misery, isolation and heartbreak. I make sure to keep tabs on where you are in the system, and will write letters, make calls and make my voice heard so that you never, ever, ever get out.
Oh, and I'm not miserable. I get to see my husband, our son and his daughter. Watching my granddaughter grow up is as good, if not better than having watched my son grow up. Since I didn't beat someone, murder someone, and chop up any bodies, I get to do all of that. I go to my office and make a good living, deciding when and where I want to eat, go etc.
Now, on to second chances. Does everyone on the board know that your "beloved Justine" had a restraining order against you for beating her? And that she turned you in? Let's see, a woman beater and a murderer all in one summer. Quite an accomplishment! By our "beloved Justine" actually had to get the police involved to be rid of your miserable presence in her life.
You will never do better. There is no chance for you to do better or contribute anything to society. My ou made that choice all on your own, so stop trying to play some deranged martyr and accept the fact that society has deemed you worthless.
I listened to testimony. I saw photos which I will never be able to get out of my mind.
I read the news (much of which can still be found online despite the age of this story).
You see, the murder he committed has had very long reaching implications on many people.
His precious Justine was frankly terrified of him at the time to listen to the stories in court.
This is not someone who deserves a second chance. Yes, I knew his victim, we were neighbors for a number of years. The man was quirky, but helped me out in a heartbeat had I ever needed it. One year, he and a fellow that was living with him shoveled out my car multiple times over a winter. When I had a broken leg, Ron carried my groceries up. He kept a really nice garden out front, beautifying the neighborhood. Our blogging monster here not only killed him, he chopped up his body and left pieces in bins around town. He then decided to empty out the mans apartment, steal his car and was ultimately caught driving that same stolen car.
I can understand, and to a point even forgive the murder... It is the monstrous actions afterward that have left me angry for years. The man lay partially dismembered in my apartment building for days. Imagine your shock and anger finding out someone you knew was bludgeoned, chopped up and left as trash. Not only left as trash, but left in pieces in a bathtub literally yards from where you slept at night. Would you think that person deserves a second chance?
If his beloved Justine was so wonderful, why did he not listen when she and her family told him to go to the police? He had DAYS after the fact. As I write this, I realize not only is he a monster, but just an idiot to boot. Too stupid and too violent to function in normal society. If you'd like to get some info on his trial, and all of the circus surrounding it, a simple search of Updegrave murder in any search engine will bring up a pretty substantial number of stories that were written during the trial. The part justine and her family is particularly telling as to the utter monster this man is/was.
I don't care if he ignores me. I will always have the option to write letters to the state about him, reminding every politician, warden or anyone responsible for his keeping of what a monster he is, and making sure he never, ever gets out of that hole.
His every sadness, and every crap thing that happens to his family are karma, plain and simple. Everything that happens to his loved ones is brought on by his previous actions.
thanks for your reply. As you mention the high cost of the Death penalty is new to you, let me drop some more information for you, specifically about Pennsylvania: "Pennsylvania's taxpayers have paid an estimated $272 million per execution since the Commonwealth reinstated its death penalty in 1978, according to an investigation by The Reading Eagle. Using data from a 2008 study by the Urban Institute, the Eagle calculated that cost of sentencing 408 people to death was an estimated $816 million higher than the cost of life without parole. The estimate is conservative, the paper says, because it assumes only one capital trial for each defendant and it does not include the cost of cases in which the death penalty was sought but not imposed. The total cost may exceed $1 billion. An earlier investigation had estimated a cost of at least $350 million, based on the 185 inmates who were on death row as of 2014, but additional research into the cases that had already been overturned, or in which inmates died or were executed prior to 2014, revealed a total of 408 people who had been sentenced to death. Pennsylvania has carried out only three executions under its current death penalty statute. State Senator Stewart Greenleaf, a Republican and chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said, "We're scratching for every dollar that we can right now. To continue to spend that kind of money is hard to justify." The Eagle's investigation also uncovered geographic disparities in the application of the death penalty. 60% of all death sentences came from just four counties: Philadelphia, Allegheny, York, and Berks. Death sentencing rates also varied dramatically, with about a third of counties handing down zero death sentences, while three (Columbia, Cumberland, and Northumberland) had 5 or more death sentences per 100 murders. Somerset District Attorney Lisa Lazzari-Strasiser, who has filed one death penalty case in five years as District Attorney, said, "I think our system is broken. It doesn't do justice to any one of the stakeholders, in my opinion, not the taxpayers, the victims or the defendants. It doesn't work." Reading your response to Jamie I guess you'd agree with Tupac, The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everyone... Take care, Julia
Yeah, I'm new here, haha. Well, I wrote you a really small comment once before but that doesn't really count.
Yea, it's better to cut out the toxic people in your life! So if it's possible, you definitly should.:) I mean, I really do kind of understand where Maggie is coming from, but I have a very forgiving nature and to be honest, I think people would be happier if they'd just cast aside their hate and forgive sometimes... :) Doesn't even have something to do with religion - hah.:P I mean, Christians are always talking about forgiveness but most are hypocrites....
I'd love to send you a handwritten letter! But I'm from veeeery far away. Switzerland, to be exact! And aside from everything here being overly expensive, mailing the letters would be too much for me. I'm a student, don't make money yet...:) Actually, I'm just a little bit older than your daughter, I think. How old is she?
But! I had the idea that I could write some letters by hand and scan them... I asked the behindthebars-team, if I could do that and am waiting for their reply now.:)
I'm listening to "Heaven" by Otherside now too, by the way. I didn't know that song, it really is beautiful!
Ugh, it's so weird, having a name that's viable to both genders!:P In school, when I have a teacher for the first time, they often think that I'm male because of my name and are surprised when they see me - definitly a female, haha.
Ooh, you're right. The "bad boys". But to be honest, if I had known your past self I would have been attracted to the 'broken' side of you instead of the "bad boy", to be honest. I always want to help and fix people, but well, that doesn't really go well most of the time... :P
Damn... It always makes me sad to read such stories. No child deservers to be treated so badly. And I'll never understand how you can hit a child...:( I'm really thankful for my parents (my mother at least). She's the best I could ask for.
But honestly? It's so sick that they're locking up children/teenagers in America. You needed a loving family, not 3 years inside prison that made everything worse, what the hell! I mean, I'm 16 now, and 3 years are a lot to me. And they were just stolen from you.
Did nobody even look into your uncle hitting you? Horrible, really... I'm actually German and I moved to Switzerland when I was 12. Anyways, in Germany, my best friend was actually really fucked up as well, because her stepfather beat her. She was schizophrenic and cut herself, also threatened to kill herself a lot... I'm glad she didn't. But it's insane what hitting children does to children.. And some people even try justifying it, ughh.
Hope that class will be interesting.:) By the way, do you get therapy in your prisons? Not just the "sick psychos", but everyone, to deal with anger issues for example. I want to become a psychiatrist and do that someday. :)
Going to continue in another letter, I always run out of space, jeeeez... :)
C'ya!
So, here is part 2 of my letter, haha.
It's really nice of you to spend your time with the dying guys.. :( Are they sick? Or just really old? Or both..?
I'd like to draw them something and mail it to you, but like I said, I can't. :( Frustrating!
Of course I'm comfortable with talking to you. It's really interesting to get to know a lot of different people and learn their stories!
How did I find your blog... Haha, silly story, actually. I watched the series Prison Break and because the American Prison System seemed so alien to me I read a little about it... Somehow I found prisoner blogs and also this site. I read a lot of posts from different people and it made me really sad, to be honest. So I wanted to cheer you guys up! Because I think even when people have done terrible things, they often have really nice sides to them and I want to get to know those sides. My mum doesn't understand why I would want to write to "those psychos", but oh well.. Maybe I'll get her to understand one day. :)
Aww, I'd love to see the pictures, but I searched for your facebook and even found it but don't see any pictures. :( Privacyyyy. I'll just send a friend request, I guess!
I also saw the fundraiser for your daughter. :( I'd love to help her... Damn, I gotta get rich! I'm always so sad when I want to donate something but then realize I don't have money myself... x)
Be well!
Looking forward to hear from you,
Jamie
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thanks for your reply, I hope this note finds you well.
How I come up with all this numbers? Well you know, a combination of the world wide web and google.
Instead of answering your questions, I am sending you some stand-up by Eddie Izzard, from his show "dress to kill".
"Yes, and I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Oh, yeah. You tear your history down, man! “30 years old, let's smash it to the floor and put a car park here!" I have seen it in stories. I sawsomething in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then!"
Well, we got tons of history lying about the place, big old castles, and they just get in the way. We're driving-- "Oh, a fucking castle! Have to drive around it..." Disney came over and built Euro Disney, and they built the Disney castle there, and it was, "You better make it a bit bigger, they've actually got them here... And they're not made of plastic!" We got tons of them, ‘cause you think we all live in castles, and we do all live in castles! We all got a castle each. We're up to here with fucking castles! We just long for a bungalow or something.
And I grew up in the 70s, when the careers advisor used to come to school, and he used to get the kids together and say, "Look, I advise you to get a career, what can I say? That's it." And he took me aside, he said, "Whatcha you want to do, kid? Whatcha you want to do? Tell me, tell me your dreams!" "I want to be a space astronaut! Go to outer space, discover things that have never been discovered." He said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit, all right?" "All right, I want to work in a shoe shop then! Discover shoes that no one's ever discovered right in the back of the shop, on the left." And he said, "Look, you're British, so scale it down a bit, all right?" "All right, I want to work in a sewer then! Discover sewage that no one's ever discovered, and pile it on my head, then come to the surface and sell myself to an art gallery." He said, "What the fuck have you been smoking, eh? Certainly you haven't been smoking in a bar in California, that's for certain!" ‘Cause you can't! No, no smoking in bars now, and soon, no drinking and no talking! Be careful, California! You're supposed to be the crazy state, the out there, the wild ones, you know? In the future, everyone's going to say, "Come down to the library, we'll have a wild time, shall we? “ ( mimes dragging on a joint ) “Don't know where that fucking book is, mate, it could be anywhere! There's a lot of 'em about!"
Yeah,so, yes, so that was it. There was a spirit of ex-empire, this thing of “things can't be done," whereas in America, I thought there was a spirit of "can be done!" The pioneer thing.
"Go do it, what do you want to do?"
“I want to put babies on spikes."
"Go then! Go!” It's the American Dream!
Yes, so this is all true. And so, yes. Soin Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
And the German empire, very organized, they’d always build an empire, “ein, zwei, ein, zwei, “build an empire, very Prussian, and then they'd celebrate with a World War! And then lose the whole fucking empire by the end of the war. In the 30s, Hitler, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, World War II... the Russian front, not a good idea...! Hitler never played “Risk” when he was a kid...! ‘Cause, you know, playing “Risk,” you could never hold on to Asia. That Asian-Eastern European area, you could never hold it, could you? Seven extra men at the beginning of every go, but you couldn't fucking hold it! Australasia, that was the one! Australasia, all the purple ones! Get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up...
And Hitler ended up in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire, so, that's fun! I think that's funny, ‘cause he was a mass-murdering fuckhead. And that was his honeymoon as well! Double trouble!
"Eva, let's marry."
"Where should our honeymoon be?"
"Well, in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire. I've already arranged it upstairs."
"Oh, how romantic, Adolf."
"Yes, I thought!" Fun! What a bastard! And he was a vegetarian, and a painter, so he must have been going, "I can't get the fucking trees… Damn! I will kill everyone in the world!"
And he was a mass-murdering fuckhead, as many important historians have said. But there were other mass murderers that got away with it! Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, well done there; Pol Pot killed 1.7 million Cambodians, died under house arrest at age 72, well done indeed! And the reason we let them get away with it is because they killed their own people, and we're sort of fine with that. “Ah, help yourself,” you know? “We've been trying to kill you for ages!” So kill your own people, right on there. Seems to be… Hitler killed people next door... “Oh… stupid man!” After a couple of years, we won't stand for that, will we?
So I suppose we're glad that Pol Pot's under house arrest… you know, 1.7 million people. At least he - we know where he is - under house arrest! Just don't go in that fucking house, you know? I know a lot of people who'd love to be under house arrest! They bring you your food… "Just stay here? Oh, all right. (singing laconically ) Have you got any videos?" You know, you just sit there all day... And Pol Pot was a history teacher. And Hitler was a vegetarian painter. So... mass-murderers come from the areas you least expect it. I don't know how the flip comes over, but it happens.
So, yeah. There was a lot of that, and we built up empires - we stole countries! That's what you do,that's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in.
"I claim India for Britain!"
They go, "You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us!"
"Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards!"
"No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up, and I'm backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association."
That was it, you know? And Queen Victoria became Empress of India. She never even fucking went there, you know?
She was one of our more frumpy queens… they're all frumpy, aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousins marry! Bottom of the gene pool, you know. You'rejust scraping the barrel there, “We've haven't got enough for any more of you royals there, sorry.” First rule of genetics: spread the genes apart! But the royals are just obsessed with, "Are you a royal family? Are you a royal member? Well, then you can marry me ‘cause you're same gene pool, and our IQs will go down the toilet.” Fantastic! That's why there's no crazy royals, they're all kind of, "Hello! Hello, what do you do? You're a plumber! What on Earth is that?"
Take Care, Julia
Sorry for taking so long to answer.:( It's the 12. Octobre now...
Anyways!
Your picture on facebook... God, I'm awful at describing. It was uploaded on 2 January '13. Your bald but have a beard. You can only see your head on the picture and a little bit of a brown/red t-shirt?
I think I wrote Jen. I'm not sure if she's the right one though, there are more than one Jennifer Bennetts on Facebook...
Yes, I know about the "users". I promise I won't do anything that'll make me feel uncomfortable. c:
I'm in Switzerland because of my parents. My mum's boyfriend is from Switzerland, so we moved there because of him.
Yes! People actually speak 4 languages here. French, Italian, Swissgerman and Romansh (that's actually some weird language that only a few people talk)
Mhh, my real dad is weird. My mum and him broke up when I was like.. 3? 4? And after that I only saw him a few times. We didn't have contact for years but then about one year ago I added him on facebook. Now we only write each other on holidays like Christmas or Birthdays. He's like a stranger, it's kind of sad. But I don't really want to go running after him and even if I wanted to, I don't know how I should talk to him or anything. Weird.
I can't really see my stepdad as a father. But he's like a good friend, I guess?
Oh no, a boy crazy daughter. The worst nightmare for a father, I guess?:P
I think it's really disturbing that she found such an old boyfriend though..:| I can't even imagine that.
Yup, I can't see the puppys... Your betweenthebars-letters are posted there, but yeah, I guess I need to become friends to see the dogs.
I'm not really studying:oI'm just in Highschool, I guess? But we do have to choose subjects that are our focus. Mine is Art.
I almost like every kind of music... Lately I've been listening Pop and Indie. Sometimes I really dig Metal. It depends on my mood and what I'm doing, I guess.
I cant open the lostvault-page... "Service Unavailable". Maybe it's a temporary error.
You take care as well:)
Jamie
Sorry for answering so late. It's the 4. December now. Happy belated Birthday! You're as old as my mother now, she's 40 too.:>
I'm glad you got to talk to your daughter.
And it's unfair that you have to work so much and get nothing for it...:/
I hope your mother is feeling better now. Why was she in the hospital? Because of a seizure?
Thanks for your motivating words! Means a lot. :)
I can't ski - can you? I tried to snowboard once because we had a skiing camp with our class. We could pick between snowboarding and skiing... Everything hurt after that week.
I found your niece Destiny on facebook. She seems sweet.
Your brother accepted the request.:)
I dont really get your last sentence. What do you mean by in the US Highschools they have classes that everyone goes to?
What do I like about Switzerland... Mhhh. It's very peaceful where I live and most people are really nice. I lived in Germany until I was 12 and I sometimes still visit my friends there and it sometimes it shocks me how unfriendly the people are. In retail for example. In Switzerland most of them smile, wish you a good day - stuff like that. I live in a small village in a valley - everywhere around me are mountains, that's really pretty.
I don't have a boyfriend. :D I'm not really a relationship person - at least for the time being. Too busy playing video games. :D I had one in... February? My parents liked him - they were only slightly annoyed because he was a picky eater. My parents aren't very strict. c: They just want to know what's going on in my life.
What are school functions? I don't like sports... I'm lazy. Recently I hurt my finger in PE recently while playing basketball..
Aww, puppies! It's cool that you get them! Did you get the chance to pet them?
I checked your profile, the 2 pictures your mentioned are on there. :) Cute little girl.
I don't want to put personal information on tis blog but I'll try to get into contact with your aunt Cindy!
To answer your last two questions: I can't really judge my art.. People tell me that I'm a good artist - I'm probably one of the best in my class. But then there are much more amazing artists in this world! I see so many amazing drawings all the time, so I wouldn't call myself a good artist tbh. But it doesn't frustrate me or anything because I don't really put time into getting better. - like i said, I'm very lazy~
And I don't go to church, no. I'm 100% an atheist. :)
I don't think we'll write eachother before Christmas so I want to wish you a Merry Christmas already!
Best wishes,
Jamie