The Norfolk Chronicles
by Timotht J. Muise
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-Thomas Fricco Memorial Drug Program Has Been Launched

The Brain Trust at NorfolkWorld/WallyWorld has announced that due to the extreme failure of their C.R.A.P. drug program they have launched what they are calling" The Tomas Ficco Memorial K-2 Initiative" in memory of the failed McDonald's burger-flipper and former commander of the crack IPS Team at NorfolkWorld Tomas " The penguin" Ficco. The program will use the two huts located in the East and West fields of WallyWorld as "Treatment Centers " Where men will be allowed to self-medicate with the vast array of unknown research chemicals that comprise what is known as "K-2". The side effects unknown K-2 variants will be mixed with the cranberry flavored they sell us in the Christmas Packages and men will get the "Green Light" from security staff to puff away at their hearts content. In my view it seems to be working as you cannot get past one of these huts without taking in a big whiff of tea/K2. It is getting so bad that I may have to sue for exposure to second hand smoke!
Poor Tommy The Penquin would have a stroke if he saw how this memorial program was being run. If hw was still here he would lift Brittany Queers off his lap, remove Charlie Fillis lips from his zipper, and gimp right over to the huts making an arrest like a down-syndrome Wyatt Earp. Law and order would prevail at WallyWorld!
Coming next year the "Mugsy Memorial Suboxone Snorting Contest"!

-Water Meters To Be Installed At Norfolkworld / Medical Treatment Sidelined

In another brilliant move here at NorfolkWorld the Brain Trust will be installing "Water Meters" in an effort to determine which cellblocks are wasting water. There will though be no meters installed on the taps used to water the flowers or the softball field basepaths. Also, since quite a bit of water is used in the Hospital Unit to clean wounds, disinfect germs, and wash fecal matter and urine away, the facility has decided to forgo all medical treatment in the spirit of water conservation. A high ranking official (Codename "Medusa") was heard saying," These animals are going to die someday anyway so why should be wasting water treating their supposed illnesses?" As she spoke snakes danced in her hair and she leaned on a three-pronged pitchfork.
The plain is pretty straightforward: lets do away with the welding certifications, close to the computer class, limit B.U. students to one class per semester, propose more restrictive CMR's, lie about classification moves, and make certain that no "water" is being wasted here at WallyWorld! Sold rehabilitation thinking! No doubt that the recidivists will learn to be frugal with their bullets when they hit the Mattapan Corridor and go from drug dealers to murders all because NorforkWorld had aquatic priorities. Don't rain on their parade here; they know what they are doing!

More To Come...