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 15 Long Years! (April 26, 2016) |
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Reply ID# Up4h
Alyssa,
Hope you are well. Just wanted to say hi ("Hi.") and ask you what grade did get on your paper concerning prison.
I forgot to add that, as a prisoner, I have two emotions or thoughts that allow me to survive. One is hope that the prison sentence will be over before it destroys me, the second thought is the most powerful: it's the realization that I have the power to end my life. Suicide saves people from their pain, but it passes that pain to their loved ones, if they have loved ones. I've had thoughts of suicide since I was 8 or 9 years old. I remember sneaking into the bathroom cabinet and reading the instructions on the bottles of cough syrup and the like because it said to take a certain amount when sick. I was sick in my soul and would take three or four pills on the bottle and slink back into bed, happy and afraid that I might have taken too much.
Even now when sober and having gone through a lot of soul searching, I'm not as sick as I used to be, but suicide will always be on my mind. Because it gives me some sense of control and power.
Thanks for your kind words,
Roland
5/21/17
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