April 26, 2016

15 Long Years!

From Counterfeit Freedom by Roland F. Stoecker Jr (author's profile)


15 Long Years!
I'm sending a photo I took a few weeks ago. I look at myself and wonder where the hell has the young man gone to. A man who could smile and make it look normal. It felt so forced and weird standing there to get a non prison ID photo taken. Prison has taken away a relationship with my kids, wife, family, but it has given me maturity and sobriety. All at the expense of others, I became who I was supposed to be when I was born.
4/18/16 Roland Stoecker


Replies (14) Replies feed

JaqueshaS Posted 6 years, 7 months ago. ✓ Mailed 6 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.

Ajj13 Posted 5 years, 11 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
Hello Roland. I have read some of your blog posts and they are very interesting. I like seeing these different perspective you have on life. My name is Alyssa and I am asking a few people on the betweenthebars.org some questions for my own research and was wondering if you would answer them if you felt like it. What are ways that some men deal with missing women in prison? Do you think men change not being around women? If so in what ways? How do you think this affects them when they are released? Do you think men become more reserved or dont know how to deal with a womens "touch" when released? ;) I just want to hear your input on this out of curiosity. Speak your mind. I would love to maybe see a blog post about this too. Thank you. Hope to hear back :)

Roland F. Stoecker Jr Posted 5 years, 10 months ago.   Favorite
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Ajj13 Posted 5 years, 9 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 years, 9 months ago   Favorite
Hi Roland! Thank you so much for your response it was so thorough. Just to let you know I asked these questions for a psychology class that I am taking in college. I am doing research on human interactions and how a lack of intimate contact can change a persons personality and outlook on life. I am specifically looking at correction systems. I asked men and women about how they deal with the lack of contact with each other and I have found similar results in some instances and very different results in others. It seems that masturbation is a similar thing that men and women both use as a coping mechanism to deal with the lack of contact in prison. ( Dont blame anyone for that. lol. Got to have some kind of fun in prison I bet. I know I would ;) ) Also most men responded with saying they have a stronger appreciation of women than before they were in prison. Women seem to just miss the interaction in general with men. Roland I appreciate you responding and I really do enjoy all of your blog posts. I will keep reading and feel free to comment back on this and maybe we can keep this conversation going or whatever you would like to talk about. I am doing research and my paper wont be due until the end of the semester so I could alway use more inspiration on what to look up and dive deeper into this topic. It was interesting to see your perspective with having a conjugal visit. It is also very interesting that California has eliminated pornographic material. I think it is very unhealthy for any human being to not have any form of sexual release. I would be curious to hear what you think this does to people in prison? Do people get around this or are they very strict? I feel this would create a very hostile and angry environment if people can not release themselves. Do more people result in turning "gay" because of this? Do you think conjugal visits help control peoples behavior knowing it could be taken away? Do california prisons look down on any masturbation or do they look the other way? That is all the questions I have for now. Answer all or whatever questions you feel comfortable answering. Also you can add any info you think would be helpful for my research. Thank you again Alyssa :)

Roland F. Stoecker Jr Posted 5 years, 8 months ago.   Favorite
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Ajj13 Posted 5 years, 8 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 years, 8 months ago   Favorite
Hi Roland! Thank you so much for your letter. It will be really helpful to my research. I really enjoyed all your answers. I hope you will post more blogs on here. I really like all your writing. I will be working on this paper for an entire semester and might have more follow-up questions in the future. Feel free to ask me anything you would like too ;)

Your friend Alyssa.

Roland F. Stoecker Jr Posted 5 years, 5 months ago.   Favorite
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Kylajohnson_81 Posted 4 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 4 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
Hello roland. I dont know if your still with this progam i havent seen any comments lately. I just wanted to say that your poetry is really touching. Alothough i am not in your postion i often feel the pain you roght about. I just wanted you to know that your not alone. If you are lookimg for a new person to right to or just keep you compmany i can be that person. I am looking for new friends to talk to and i think this is a unique and one of a kind way to communicate

Roland F. Stoecker Jr Posted 4 years, 5 months ago.   Favorite
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Kylajohnson_81 Posted 4 years, 5 months ago. ✓ Mailed 4 years, 4 months ago   Favorite
Hello roland its kyla again. I wanted to thank you for writing me. I really do appreciate it. How are your college courses going? And most importantly how is Your day going? And to get to your questions the last time i was happy was about a year ago. I fell into a deep deep state of depression and i have been battling it by myself. I had to set sticky notes on my walls to motivate me to get out of bed in the morning. The last time i cried was on monday june 18, 2018 my favorite rapper/music artists was killed. I had been one of his first fans since 2013 when he wanted to be noticed. So my heart was very broken because his music is what helps me . Which leads me to another topic. This rapper xxxtentacion always told his fans to be whatever and whoever they wanted. I really wanna a career in criminal justice. But what i want to be is a corrections counsler. So i was wondering if i could ask you for advice, what could i do to impact inmates lives and make them trust me? I hope you have wonderful day. Thanks again for writing me

Roland F. Stoecker Jr Posted 4 years, 3 months ago.   Favorite
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Kylajohnson_81 Posted 4 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 4 years, 3 months ago   Favorite
Hello Roland, im glad to see that you have written me again. To answer your question about what caused my depression, it was just every one around me including family and "friends" qould put me down. Or they point my insecurities out in front of a big crowd, eventually I just shut everyone out. I still feel like to this day i cant talk to anyone about how i feel or what goes on when it's obvious that noone around me doesn't aknowledge my feelings. That's one of the reasons I want to be a corrections counsler, because i know im not the only who feels like they have noone to talk to. Besides prison is supposed to be for rehabilitation not what it's portrayed to be now. I think that just because you committed a crime you should be give the correct resources so you can better yourself. Who wants to spend their life in prison. If I'm going to be honest I think that some sentences that are given can be blown out of proportion. I'm not sure if this is a good thing to or it sounds phony but i like to try and see the good in everyone, granted not everyone is willing to show the good side at first. But i have always had a determination to find it in someone. I'm sorry if this gets to you late but my ex boyfriend just passed away and I've been collecting my thoughts. It's sad because he was a closet addict and only a few a his friends knew, but they never told me. I'm just at a loss for words because i feel like as a person i could have done more but i thinks it's a good life lesson. It's wierd to say but i feel more at peace knowing I wasn't in relationship with him when he passed. But i do have some questions for you. What kind of music do you listen to? What's your favorite t.v shows? What are your plans besides college when you get out? What does your day consist of? Have you lived in florida your whole life? I hope all is well and i hope to hear from you soon

Roland F. Stoecker Jr Posted 4 years, 2 months ago.   Favorite
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Astoecker Posted 2 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 2 years, 3 months ago   Favorite
Hi honey I love you

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